Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever

[Dragonblade146]

That was satire at it's best. I realised he was kidding when
A. He even mentioned Duke Nukem at all given the project was cancelled
B. When he started being waaaaaayyy to enthusiastic for regular Yahtzee standards.

Projects not cancelled due to be realesed next year.
HOPEFULLY....
>.>

 

[AdmiralWolverineLightningbolt]

wow..

that was the best zp ever!
ive was in tears the entire time

keep it up

 

[NeedAUserName]

As good as always! I gotta find this game to play sometime - I say with my tongue planted firmly in cheek.

Brilliant review as ever.

I've never played the duke. But this makes me want to. I should rent one this weekend.

You have all clearly watched it.

I'm very very confused.

My feelings exactly... I got really concerned that I had missed the launch of it completely, I even had to check the internet just incase...

 

[kavinsky]

and they should have known better, never abreviate your game DNF they cursed themelves right from the start by doing that, if they had just titled it Duken Nukem: Hail to the king baby, it probably would have come out in 1999

 

[Doc Theta Sigma]

I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. Brilliant review and brilliant satire. Shine on you crazy diamond.

 

[gRiM_rEaPeRsco]

Yahtzee, you have out done yourself this week sir.

 

[Slothboy]

But wait, how many times does the Duke declare that he has balls of Steel? I need to know before I buy. Thanks!

 

[Sylocat]

Here's an idea... now that the game is officially canceled, why don't they just release the franchise into public domain and let small start-up game studios take their own shots at making DN:F, someone collects all the submissions and releases the top few as a box set?

 

[Simriel]

I am surprised and amused. This is by far the best review yet. Loved it. Also anything with Hendrix is awesome.
P.S I am less humble. Yes I am less humble than Yahztee

 

[kavinsky]

yeah it's out on good old games, and that was 1997 by the way

 

[TraumaHound]

Brilliant! I've found it baffling that every couple of years some article with new screenshots would come out for Duke and the game mags/sites would need a change of underwear halfway through their gushingly amorous fanboi write-ups.

Maybe I'm in the minority, having played Duke 3D back when it was released, but I never thought it was that great of a game to begin with. It was a shooter...just like a bunch of other games that were coming out at the time. I gave it a go, then retired it like so many other games before it. How it's remained "popular" as anything other than "the vaporware that could...and didn't" is beyond me.

Good riddance, I say.

 

[bodyklok]

This is a Yhatzee defining review.

 

[Kanashe]

Erm....Wow...Well I didn't expect this.

 

[someonetookmyname2]

Oi you talked way to fast for a stint. Best review since Halo Wars.

I've been waiting for you to do something involving Duke Nukem Forever since I saw the Gamedamage pilot episode. At least you finally got around to it.

 

[Lord Doom]

You can tell who didn't watch the review before posting. Also, I think they maybe bots. I was expecting a rant on how 3d Realms screwed up.

 

[LordMonty]

Well i'm kind of sad that it didn't get made because it was clearly going to something either so good that you weep tears of pure joy or it was going to be so bad and such a horrific mess that the devil would force new arrivals in hell as it'd save on costs just to put them through an eternity of pain and suffering in only a few hours... oh well at least the big Y put a good spin on this fiasco

P.s my badge need revision please.

 

[Humppaporo]

Yahtzee what pills have you been taking this time?

 

[stormcaller]

That's targic!

Also what? No Pedigree Chum plug?

 

[Zephemus]

OMG did you all unlock the cheat to where you can play the game on a toaster oven? I mean yeah I experienced some lag when I tried to play it on a toaster oven made circa 1970, but shit it is such an intuitive gaming design.

For instance you put in white bread to equip your pistol, wheat bread for you shotgun, pumpernickle for the M9 Carbine Assault Rifle and your first born child in if you want to snag the fuckin' BFG for the game. And let me tell you, when I saw youtube clips of what the BFG in this game could do, it made me want to knock my girlfriend up it is just that WTFPWN awesome.

Anyway look up the cheat and see it for yourself because playing on a toaster oven where bread determines what kind of gun you're firing at the geniously developed xenomorphic muppet cyborg aliens is just complete awesome-sauce!