Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever

[Ranooth]

Ben has finally gone mad.

Good.......good........

 

[Erana]

Wow... A four and-a-half minute verbal burn...
3D Realms will never recover.

 

[Doug]

Let's not also forget the company's horrible history of actually COMPLETING games. If you take away games that they just PRODUCED and only looked at development as 3D Realms, they only released 2 games in an 11 year span. And let's not forget that their most "recent" release, Prey, had been in development for 11 years before they finally gave it to another studio to finish the job...

I'm waiting for the "3D Realms: Behind the Music" myself..

Quite so! Have 3D realms even developed ANY truly 3D games? At all? Not produced, of course, but make themselves, heh...?

If anything, Yahtzee's in theory review now makes me wonder why we can't have games that start as FPS' and end up with cooking mama sections for baking for the alien wedding....

 

[Lenoh]

Everyone else may like it, but I'm here to play the devil's advocate.

Yahtzee, usually your reviews are witty and quite funny and actually mean something as to whether I should consider buying the game or not. But wasting 3 and a half minutes and a week's worth of review on a game everyone knows will never come out is a lot more lazy than anything 3DRealms did. Shame on you, Yahtzee.

But I still did like the howler monkey reference.

 

[iJosh]

How'd he play the game if it wasn't released OMGZ h4x0rz

 

[Reaperman64]

the only game where the "Making of" dvd lasts longer than the play time itself....

ahhh humour is good

 

[Sparrowsabre7]

I knew I was in for a good show when I saw the title, but I expected him to openly lash it not review a fictional version XD Fantastic! The epic rant at the end was awesome. I too agree that it is not "targic"

 

[MpSai]

Lawl'd hard. The random and outrageous implications of hypothetical gameplay were great.

 

[CrazyBlue]

That was impressive Yahtzee, you were able to review a game your imagination came up with! And get paid for it...

 

[Porrhandske]

you still got it

 

[KDR_11k]

I'd bet 5 bucks that someone will actually go out and make a game just like what Yahtzee described. After all if Jack Thompson can get a game made just by mentioning his idea I'm sure Yahtzee can.

 

[Deathsong17]

I don't normally wait for a review, but i was staying up anyways, thank god for sleeping in . I have to say i wasn't expecting DNF, my bets we're completely on Infamous.

That makes two of us.

 

[lleihsad]

I think it was worth taking the time to piss on Duke's grave.

 

[Doug]

I'm very very confused.

You are not alone.

Joke review. I.e. What alternative universe Yahtzee reviewed vs what our reality got, heh.

 

[Abedeus]

How'd he play the game if it wasn't released OMGZ h4x0rz

Are you calling DNF a horrible, horrible game that would've been forgotten so fast it would spin over Gamestop few times before landing in a trashcan and it should never, ever consume 12 million dollars on God only knows what?

...where was I going with that? I dunno. Point is... I don't know. Let me edit it later.


OH WAIT NO!

How come they are suing for only 20 million dollars? It's still barely more (when you think about it and how much more was a $ worth 10 years ago) than 3D wasted.

 

[IamQ]

That was satire at it's best. I realised he was kidding when
A. He even mentioned Duke Nukem at all given the project was cancelled
B. When he started being waaaaaayyy to enthusiastic for regular Yahtzee standards.

And when he didn't mention that it exceeded Portal.

 

[Doug]

I think it was worth taking the time to piss on Duke's grave.

DEFINITELY! Seriously, I'm amazed anyone was expecting 3D realms to deliver on its promises after the 5th year, let alone the 12th!.

 

[Azhrarn-101]

Enjoyed the joke review, almost made me wish it would come out for real so Yahtzee could compare it to his "perfect" imaginary copy. =D

 

[The Great JT]

Duke Nukem exists?

I mean, I noticed a long while ago the initials for Duke Nukem Forever are DNF, the same as "DID NOT FINISH." Or maybe it stands for Dancing Near Swedes, or Do Not Fuck-up, or maybe even Damn Near Fat.

 

[AlphaOmega]

I never commentec on a ZP topic but this was absolute gold, he's recovering again.