Zero Punctuation: Duke Nukem Forever

[katsabas]

Wow he totally kept me guessing until the end. I was surprised. A lot. But it didn't fill me that much as let's say, Halo Wars.

 

[Kloffy]

I was completely convinced until the end disclaimer.

 

[-bladerunner-]

Terrible review. He's really jumped the shark on this one. He doesn't even describe the gameplay at all, he's too busy making stupid, unfunny jokes and long, pointless tangents about monkeys. If you compare this to one of his earlier reviews you'll see that it's NOTHING like his old style. Yahtzee has really sold out and*CUT*

Maybe now, idiots will stop lambasting him for not doing "proper reviews".

*sigh* He can't comment on gameplay because the game IS NOT OUT and may never be, he was only talking about how the game should be when it is released due to the time it is taking to 'develop' it (or did you not understand the extremely radical change in Yahtzee's reviewing style ie. he had nothing bad to say about the game).

Read up on the subject before making unfounded complaints about it.

 

[Calderon0311]

When I got my copy of Duke Nukem Forever, I made sure to open the case while looking away from it. Much like the opening of the lost Arc, everyone near me who didn't turn away had their faces melted by the shear godliness that was infused into every copy.

 

[jymbobjones]

XDXD pure lolz

So, what system is it out for? I've been saving for ages.

The playstation 9001.

 

[Mr0llivand3r]

it's a shame video game developers don't listen to Yahtzee as if he speaks gospel scripture. Because his opinions are 99% right 99% of the time. if video game developers listened to him we might actually get some good games, like say for example, the game he described in this video

 

[Booze Zombie]

Har, har, har...

 

[LadyZephyr]

Well, Mr. Crowshaw, I had forgotten about that shining Trope Maker of Development Hell until you mentioned it again. Thanks. 8|


(Then again, the first five seconds of "what the fuck, when did it finally come out" was awesome.)

 

[Slash Dementia]

That was just great. Very true too, what were they doing all that time?

 

[BonsaiK]

I hear that they're going to release it in a box set with the new Battletoads. Pre-orders get a free Wii strap.

 

[S.H.A.R.P.]

What the? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! It isn't working for me.

I get the following error report, does anybody have a clue? I'm watching in Firefox but it isn't working in Internet Explorer either.

Spoiler: Error report

Error #2044: Unhandled securityError:. text=Error #2048: Security sandbox violation: http://static.escapistmagazine.com/media/global/movies/player/flowplayer.tm_video-1.2.4.swf cannot load data from http://www.themis-group.com/global/castfire/m4v/748.
at com.themismedia.tm_video::ThemisMediaProvider/generateThemisMediaUrl()
at com.themismedia.tm_video::ThemisMediaProvider/connect()
at org.flowplayer.controller::NetStreamControllingStreamProvider/load()
at StreamProviderController/doLoad()
at AbstractDurationTrackingController/load()
at AbstractDurationTrackingController/onEvent()
at PlayState/onEvent()
at WaitingState/play()
at org.flowplayer.controller:layListController/http://flowplayer.org/core/internal:lay()
at org.flowplayer.view::FlowplayerBase/play()
at com.liverail.plugins.flowplayer::LiveRailPlugin/onLiveRailPrerollComplete()
at flash.events::EventDispatcher/dispatchEventFunction()
at flash.events::EventDispatcher/dispatchEvent()
at com.liverail.managers::AdManager/sendAdManagerEvent()
at flash.events::EventDispatcher/dispatchEventFunction()
at flash.events::EventDispatcher/dispatchEvent()
at com.liverail.managers::AdModel/sendPrerollComplete()
at com.liverail.managers::AdModel/onContentStart()
at com.liverail.managers::AdManager/onContentStart()
at com.liverail.plugins.flowplayer::LiveRailPlugin/onLiveRailInitComplete()
at flash.events::EventDispatcher/dispatchEventFunction()
at flash.events::EventDispatcher/dispatchEvent()
at com.liverail.managers::AdManager/sendAdManagerEvent()
at com.liverail.managers::AdManager/sendAdManagerInitComplete()
at com.liverail.managers::AdManager/onSkinLoadComplete()
at flash.events::EventDispatcher/dispatchEventFunction()
at flash.events::EventDispatcher/dispatchEvent()
at com.liverail.players:laybackView/onSkinLoadInit()

EDIT: It works! And it was highly amusing I must say.

 

[jymbobjones]

I lold

same high 5

 

[trombi]

Nice one. Hurray for them Vl'hurghs!

 

[Susano]

Terrible review. He's really jumped the shark on this one. He doesn't even describe the gameplay at all, he's too busy making stupid, unfunny jokes and long, pointless tangents about monkeys. If you compare this to one of his earlier reviews you'll see that it's NOTHING like his old style. Yahtzee has really sold out and*CUT*

Maybe now, idiots will stop lambasting him for not doing "proper reviews".

*sigh* He can't comment on gameplay because the game IS NOT OUT and may never be, he was only talking about how the game should be when it is released due to the time it is taking to 'develop' it (or did you not understand the extremely radical change in Yahtzee's reviewing style ie. he had nothing bad to say about the game).

Read up on the subject before making unfounded complaints about it.

He was joking, he didn't really think that duke nukem had come out, he was making fun of the people who did I think...

 

[The Hitman]

"that's TARGIC" no it certainly wasn't!

 

[bornofdust]

Terrible review. He's really jumped the shark on this one. He doesn't even describe the gameplay at all, he's too busy making stupid, unfunny jokes and long, pointless tangents about monkeys. If you compare this to one of his earlier reviews you'll see that it's NOTHING like his old style. Yahtzee has really sold out and*CUT*

Maybe now, idiots will stop lambasting him for not doing "proper reviews".

*sigh* He can't comment on gameplay because the game IS NOT OUT and may never be, he was only talking about how the game should be when it is released due to the time it is taking to 'develop' it (or did you not understand the extremely radical change in Yahtzee's reviewing style ie. he had nothing bad to say about the game).

Read up on the subject before making unfounded complaints about it.

Aaaahahahaha!

Sarcasm = missed.

 

[Incredible Bullshitting Man]

So, what system is it out for? I've been saving for ages.

Well he reviewed the PS3 version but I was going to get it for my microwave, I hear it's out on everything with a screen.

The ZX Spectrum version is by far the best one out there. I wholeheartedly recommend.

Anyway, this was thoroughly enjoyable. Had me going for a moment there. I believe at least now we are officially through with DNF(RIP).

 

[Mister Benoit]

Everyone else may like it, but I'm here to play the devil's advocate.

Yahtzee, usually your reviews are witty and quite funny and actually mean something as to whether I should consider buying the game or not. But wasting 3 and a half minutes and a week's worth of review on a game everyone knows will never come out is a lot more lazy than anything 3DRealms did. Shame on you, Yahtzee.

But I still did like the howler monkey reference.

Your Avatar is awesome. =p

 

[MiloP]

Absolutely FUCKING AWESOME.
Sorry, it had to be said.