Zero Punctuation: F.E.A.R. Perseus Mandate

[xishtarx]

An other good review! I loved the first fear, extraction point was a bit bland but still ok. However when I tried the perseus mandae demo I uninstalled it after just 15 min or so.

Also I loved that the title for Yahtzees, so that the copycat review is of "the art of theft". That was almost to perfect

 

[pingnak]

Yahtzee touches on a reason I don't play PC games anymore. You can get a whole game console for about the cost of a PC video card, it plays on the big TV set and the big stereo, and there's never even a tiny doubt about 'compatibility' when I buy a game. So I was able to play F.E.A.R. on the XBOX 360 without any problem, while 'Supreme Commander' stayed in its box for several months until I got around to buying another PC, because my two year old desktop flat out wouldn't run it, and gave no diagnostic reason whatsoever, and the store wouldn't take the game back once the shrink wrap was off in order for me to discover that the game had some subtle issue with 'texture and lighting'. When I finally got the game running, it was clear they certainly didn't spend any of that extra 'power' I needed on AI, that's for sure.

Anyways, (yawn) the original F.E.A.R. didn't quite suck. That's about all I can say for it. Any sequels? I don't give a damn, because the original wasn't any better than "doesn't quite suck", so why should I expect a sequel to be any better?

 

[neojam]

Funny and original as always mate, thanks for making my day!
ps
Cant wait for the next week...

 

[VeryOblivious]

Very good review. Funny and, in some dark way, useful as always. I'd love to see a review of Shadow of the Colossus, a ridiculously overrated game.

 

[Vitalix]

Great review. Kudos to SP for a valiant effort at copying the master's style.

Methinks ZP does not have to be cranky all the time. Rather, his genius comes from defying conventional wisdom. A review telling us how bad a game played by seventeen people world wide would be a waste of time. A review telling us how wonderful CoD4 would be worthless. A review telling us how wonderful Psychonauts is, a much maligned and underpurchased game, that defies conventional wisdom and is thus hilarious.

I know, I know, ZP hates it when people requests games to review. Yet, I can't resist wondering openly how wonderfully fun it would be watch him tear apart EA for its buggy, laggy, messy, overhyped Battlefield series. Heck, a video just on in-game advertising has infinite potential. At least no more Peggles.

Is SP's 'fair use'? Probably. He's clearly parodying ZP by reviewing his own game. Fair use is not an infinitely large exception, however. Once some bozos copy ZP's sytle to make reviews and start posting them on their commercial websites causing the Escapist to lose traffic, that ain't fair use at all.

 

[nocutius]

I registered just to say this was great. I've never heard of the guy till an hour ago, i've watched all of the reviews in one go and i'm hooked, damn you . I'm really looking forward to seeing future reviews.

 

[xdiesp]

Too bad Yahtzee can't review Prince of Persia: Warrior Within because it's already 3 years old, that would have been an experience to tell the grandchildren about.

 

[Zera]

Hey you guys thinking of parodying his work, watch out. If he finds out where you live, he may come and burn your house down. He says it at the end of this review.

Anyways back on topic, Good review as usual. Bonus points for using the Ghostbusters theme.

 

[SyedBob]

Hey, Yahtzee, what about an Eve Online review?

 

[Tumbler360]

Hey, Yahtzee, what about an Eve Online review?

Heh, they do have a new expansion coming out! Dec 5th, to be exact.

And to everyone criticizing people for asking for bigger games to be reviewed, like COD4, Assassin's Creed, Mass effect, etc, keep in mind this site is popular because it's flamed big games in the past few months.

Bioshock, Halo 3, Orange Box, MOH Airborne, those are the best reviews in my opinion because they are big games. (best = most popular) You're essentially roasting them, giving them the business, telling jokes at their expense, making fun of them, tellin it like it is, it's funny cause it's true...this making sense?

No one is going to watch a roast for john smith, but they'll watch a roast of Angelina Jolie! We want to see our heroes/idols/great games get roasted. We don't give a rats ass about smaller titles, stick with roasting the big boys. (It's not funny to watch you roast a game none of us play) Hopefully you've seen a drop in web traffic in the past month and I'm preaching to the quire. We'll see in 2 days I suppose.

 

[ZippyDSMlee]

For me FEAR is ok to good its better than Q4 and D3 by leaps and bounds it has some more of level design unlike the real corridor shooters out now,had a good mix of AI and melle attacks, sure its not prefect the repetitive level themes and emeines is a bit much but overall better than your average shooter, the expansions however seem to lose a point with each try.

 

[Pyrokinesis]

Very nice, ive played the fear series and i completely agree, its almost as bad as half-life when it comes to repeating itself. (but half-life is an awesome game none the less...but im not gona say anything bout fear.)

 

[TenchyMuyo2]

I just read in PC GAMER that you'll be doing a column in PC GAMER!

 

[ZippyDSMlee]

HL1 awesome,FEAR less so....HL2 less so..............

>>

yes zippy is teh fail.......

 

[henrytcasey]

I havn't bought PC Gamer in years. Now I will, solely for ZP. God damnit.

 

[Abbadiel]

I knew perseus mandate was crap... At least the last 2 FEAR's were enjoyable...

 

[Skeleon]

Hm, I really liked FEAR! Sure, the enemies were repetitive, but I kinda liked the story and the horror scenes. I also played the first addon and I still... liked it. But it's true, I got a little demotivated. Very little new background. Basically everybody you know dies and you can't do shit to save them. You kill all those soldiers and still the whole city is torn by that war (how many Replica soldiers are left, by the way? I must've killed more than 700 all on my own during the first two parts and there are supposed to've been 1000 at the start). Now, if the second addon carries on exactly the same way the first did, I guess I wouldn't like it anymore, either. :-(

Also, great Review as always! The Ghostbusters theme obviously fits perfectly.

 

[ruyzen]

But even though a game is good, there are always SOMETHING to whine about, some games have more, some have less but every game has a bad side.

I played Assassin's Creed at my friend's house, and now I just can't stop thinking about it, all the cool moves and assassinating guys stealthly and stuff but when you start thinking about the whole game, it's repetetive.

So basically AC is just killing again and again until you get bored of it and do something else and get back to it in a month or two when you suddenly have an urge to kill someone and fell cool when 6-15 guards surround you and you can get the feeling of being Bruce Lee and fight them all with the "Counter" button (of course, you can just do parkour and run away or hit the "Attack" button and try to be like Conan).

But still, is Yahtzee like, an non-social rude guy (Like House, except he's a fictional character and Yahtzee is way cooler) while he reviews a game and when he's NOT working he's a Elder-Loving, Nice-to-everyone-in-the-underground-by-talking-bullsh!t-to-them guy?

It's fine by me what game he review as long as it IS NOT A FREAKING FORMULA/RALLY GAME!!

 

[pruny]

FEAR is a great game, i wait Crysis REVIEW!!!

 

[Einheit12]

Awesome review, Yahtzee.

FYI: Here is the linkage for you people.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=6XSpPIBvjN4

I give him a B+ for effort, but its hard to make out what he's saying. And I will give him a few points for trying to parody Yahtzee.

If you watch it to the end you might see that it's actually more of a tribute to Yathzee.
At least that's how I understand "keep on making neat games and keep making neat reviews".