Zero Punctuation: F.E.A.R. Perseus Mandate

[Odjin]

WHat goes for the homage attempt, I assume he is pissed. Anybody cared to read the fine print on the video pages? I'll quote for you:

>>>
Please note that any reproduction of Zero Punctuation without the express written consent of The Escapist is expressly forbidden.
<<<

With other words: do something alike and we burn down your houses

Although I personally consider this more of a "homage" than trying to "copy" since he mentioned at the beginning and the end that he is not Yahtzee nor does he want to copy him. Still he stirred up a lot of hornets there

 

[Catch-22]

WHat goes for the homage attempt, I assume he is pissed. Anybody cared to read the fine print on the video pages? I'll quote for you:

>>>
Please note that any reproduction of Zero Punctuation without the express written consent of The Escapist is expressly forbidden.
<<<

I think you assume wrong. Copyright has nothing to do with it either - it would surely be covered by Fair Use.

 

[The Irrelevant Gamer]

I'm a creature of myth. I loved FEAR, but the first expansion fairly reeked of mindless cash in, and fucked up the already admittedly fucked (but in a good way) story, and this one looks to do more of the same only more so. I'll probably still buy it, however, so I'll have shit to do besides chase Theseus around my labyrinth.

 

[The Knight Of Light]

WTF??? Now I have to wait for every review you do now!! I got this game thinking somehow there would be a glimmer of hope from the sh!t coated crap there was from the second one and no!! Then you come up with your review and I am forced to agree once again!!

 

[Cynical Nonoplace]

So, according to Yahtzee I'm a motherfucking mythical creature. Joy.

 

[blackadvent]

I actually liked the original FEAR. I liked the characters, and the plot, and the atmosphere.

Then I was quickly turned off from it by Extraction Point, which I got free with the game. Killed the characters I liked, and make no fucking sense.
Thanks god Monolith's trying to make a real sequel that isn't a cash in. Thats what it looks like, anyway.

 

[The Irrelevant Gamer]

What the frak... there's Crysis, and CoD4 and Assassin's Creed and Mass Effect and Unreal Tournament III.
Heck there's even stuff like NFS: Pro Street, Kane and Lynch and Soldier of Fortune Payback he'd probably have not much work with tearing to bloody pieces.
And they give him the SECOND ADD-ON of a anyway quite mediocre game after a week without any great review anyway... and it wasn't even that good :/ ... well le fück.

I imagine he had less time this week to do a review what with all the super model shagging, and they gave him something short.

 

[Katana314]

See, now I'm starting to realize there was some sense to the old video game tradition of "Fire temple, water temple, air temple". It actually convinced developers to create some different locales. FEAR feels like the very first levels to the fifth power. And now that the enemy AI feels dumber than the first one (maybe to fit the degrading intelligence of the average Xbox 360 user) there's very little going for it.

 

[Grizzzzzzzz]

And the average IQ per comment drops.

 

[Recan404]

According to his own admission GSMp2k lives in the "United States" in a "Huge Underground Compound".

Taking into account there are very few huge underground compounds in the United States, (or for that matter, people who can fund building one) I quickly narrowed down the possible locations for GSMp2k's domicile.

1.) NORAD: Cheyenne Mountain Directorate
Location:
"The Cheyenne Mountain Directorate is located at Cheyenne Mountain Air Force Station (CMAFS), a short distance from NORAD headquarters at Peterson Air Force Base, Colorado Springs, Colo."

http://www.norad.mil/

2.) Area 51 or Area 19
Location:
"The Groom Lake Base is this top-secret military base located 90 miles north of Las Vegas (which is in Nevada). It's in grid number 51 of the Nevada Test Site, so it's called Area 51."
"Area 19, along with Area 20 to its west, were added to the Nevada Test Site (NTS)Yucca Flat was a little too close to Las Vegas for the shockwaves created by the bombs. It was an ideal place to do underground testing."

http://www.area51zone.com/

3.)KRQE (Church of Scientology)
Location:
"Buried deep in these New Mexico hills in steel-lined tunnels, said to be able to survive a nuclear blast, is what Scientology considers the future of mankind,"

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/11/26/AR2005112601065.html

4.) Mount Weather (FEMA)
Location:
"Mount Weather is virtually an underground city, according to former personnel interviewed by Pollock. Buried deep inside the earth, Mount Weather was equipped with such amenities as:

- private apartments and dormitories
- streets and sidewalks
- cafeterias and hospitals
- a water purification system, power plant and general office buildings
- a small lake fed by fresh water from underground springs - a transit system
- a TV communication system

The facility is the operational center - the hub - of approximately 100 other Federal Relocation Centers, most of which are concentrated in Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Virginia, Maryland and North Carolina. Together this network of underground facilities constitutes the backbone of America's "Continuity of Government" program. In the event of nuclear war, declaration of martial law, or other national emergency, the President, his cabinet and the rest of the Executive Branch would be "relocated" to Mount Weather."

http://www.crystalinks.com/underbases.html

Take your pick Yahtzee, burning down his house seems to be a quite recalcitrant task though. Personally I wouldn't want to go against the U.S. Military or the Church of Scientology but
its your choice, have fun.

 

[GearsOfWar12 [deprecated]]

how do you download yours videos yahtzee?

 

[slimer]

There goes your cushy invite to Monolith.

Looks like you have maintained your integrity...

Well done.

 

[doomgaze3]

Y'know, it's a shame we don't have an army of clone Yahtzees working at The Escapist. Because then he'd be able to review every game and update five days a week. That'd be balls sweet. I find myself looking forward to Wednesdays now.

Keep it up Yahtzee!

 

[Gab]

Great review, as always. Another game I'll never play.

Yeah, I had the exact same problem trying to play F.E.A.R.

Does that stand for something, by the way? Or are they just being arbitrary?

It stands for First Encounter Assault Recon

So, basically, it stands for "we wanted a cool acronym so we smashed together a bunch of random vaguely related words and then abbreviated them to accomplish that".

 

[beoweasel]

Y'know, it's a shame we don't have an army of clone Yahtzees working at The Escapist. Because then he'd be able to review every game and update five days a week. That'd be balls sweet. I find myself looking forward to Wednesdays now.

Keep it up Yahtzee!

I'm pretty sure if you cloned a bunch of Yahtzees they'd either end up killing one another or go on to make their own adventure game.

 

[stiver]

lol @ the "condemned" reference. a far superior but underrated and misrepresented game.

 

[J.theYellow]

Worth pointing out that Condemned was also made by Monolith, makers of the original F.E.A.R., though the two expansion packs, Perseus Mandate included, were handled by Houston-based TimeGate Studios, who broke into the industry with the Kohan series, detoured through a PC version of Axis & Allies and now has something called Section 8 in development.

I think Yahtzee is still hung up on the idea that if he doesn't review shitty games, it'll be harder to be funny. He's probably right, and jumping right back into the works after visiting America for the first time and, of all things, Valve, I doubt he was ready to jump right into one of the surprisingly large number of good games on the market right now. Hitting the ground full of piss and vinegar seems to be his M.O.

Anyway, thanks to Yahtzee for bringing the funny for one more week. And thanks for pointing out Butterfingers [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfingers], who are probably all over the radio in Brisbane, sounding like Blink 182 or 311 let mc chris rap along with them, or Bloodhound Gang with every song about someone else's mom. Really good videos and well-produced music on their Myspace. [http://www.myspace.com/butterfingersmusic]

 

[Volarath]

Good stuff

 

[Jambe]

F.E.A.R. lovers are minotaurs! Brilliance, yet again.

I get a laugh when I see people demanding that you do all these reviews. It's as if they feel you've access to some alternate dimension into which you can furtively slip, and you can stay the night there and later slip back into reality where only a few seconds have passed. They expect you to go to this fantasy land such that you might spend a good year or two playing & reviewing games for Escapist Magazine and the wanting public.

Perhaps you should invent this fantasy land for the express purpose of pleasing creative appreciators of your non-conformist reviews. Get on it, Yahtzee. I demand it!