Zero Punctuation: Fable 3

[loc978]

I tried the first Fable game (on PC), and found it incredibly bland and uninteresting...

The biggest thing I remember about Fable 3 is that it was having a midnight release party at the same time that I went to pick up my preorder of Rock Band 3.

...anyway, hilarious video. I'm now even more glad I never got into the series.

 

[RelexCryo]

I was drinking soda. I got to, "It wooks pwetty!" Then I laughed so hard I sprayed soda out of my mouth and all over my keyboard. The comment about aliens wearing out corpses as hats just made me laugh harder.

Well done Yahtzee, I loved this video.

 

[AvsJoe]

Best episode in months! I was laughing throughout!

 

[Deacon Cole]

I went and googles up some video footage of the character petting their dog. Holy fucking shit, they are making out. What are they smoking at Lionhead and can I get some?

 

[Swifteye]

So much for not reviewing Fable 3.

Seriously I told all of everyone he wasn't going to review it. He must be strapped for reviews that he decided to do this game to pass the time what next is he going to review starcraft 2? That won't end well.

 

[Slangeveld]

I haven't really felt those muscles in a while, (I blame the fact that typing 3 letters when something funny or even a little bit interesting happens is what goes for laughter nowdays on the internet so often, has made me use it in real life as well) but I smiled and then even laughed. This was hilarious Though that might be because of my dislike for a certain person here mentioned.

@.@

 

[Loop Stricken]

I never actually finished this game... so thanks for the 150 day warning.

Sounds a bit shit mind you, but hey ho.

 

[xdiesp]

Ok, I have never played Fable 3 and I can't make head or tails of what happened him in the end. Did the game skip 150 days because he was rich enough anyway, or did the game clock advance in a way he totally interpreted wrong?

 

[I am AFK]

I remember the time skip, I had -1000000 dollers & sead "we are going to die!" but its ok I had one kid & repopulated the land, go me

 

[Emz]

Ok, I have never played Fable 3 and I can't make head or tails of what happened him in the end. Did the game skip 150 days because he was rich enough anyway, or did the game clock advance in a way he totally interpreted wrong?

After you become the ruler, there is a fixed amount of quests - most of them being about finances for the kingdom. If you do not do the quests, you have infinite time. If you go through the quests straight away with no break the last quest is 150 days before the year ends and then after that you're instantly chucked into the "1 year anniversary since you became King/Queen." Like the part in Fable 2 when you're in the Spire.

 

[13lackfriday]

lol @ Peter Molyneux expecting players to give a fuck about a population of identical NPC mooks.

 

[rayen020]

They really need to come up with moral choice systems that don't use the words GOOD and EVIL or any of the synonyms. Good/Bad, rightous/evil, paragon/renegade, sunshine-flowers/darkness-sins of the flesh. i don't think these cover all the bases... Wait let me restate; We know these do not cover all the bases. Moral choice meters and moral choices are a good thing to have but i think they need to more than binary. i think there are many way to implement a system i think game developers are being lazy.

example
Respect
|
|
Rightous----|----Evil
|
|
Fear

See? came up with that in less than five minutes. as a king or ruler or leader or whatever this should be your meter... in fact this should be your meter as any famous adventurer person with access to guns, swords, area of offense spells, biotics, or massed forces of destruction. And even more so you add a Z axis and/or an alpha axis (i think thats what a four dimensional axis is called, honestly idk). I don't know i'm no game designer but i feel that by simply adding another axis to a moral choice meter would make stuff more deep open and less idiotic.

Hey, that's pretty good, mind if I start a discussion based around your idea?

nah go for it.

 

[drh1975]

Whether I agree with Yahtzee or not, I like his reviews, mainly because he doesn't kiss anyone's ass, unlike G4's reviewers. That said, I liked Fable III and I don't care what anyone else thinks.

 

[brebo]

Very funny Yatzee.

 

[game-lover]

LOL!

Omigod, I've never played it but I don't think I want to now.

That does seem kinda weird and everything. Doing something for the good of the people's wellbeing is ironically evil even though you're saving everyone's lives.

I'm surprised he didn't start over. As soon as I saw the day of reckoning was at hand, I'd have been all, fuck that! and reset.

 

[ultrachicken]

Meh, I like Fable's combat, and while the game is shallow, it's at least entertaining.

Funny video, though.

 

[Jaime_Wolf]

People are always yelling about how great and innovative Fable is, but every time I try them, they just seem bland and badly designed.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so.

 

[Xenominim]

I've actually played all three Fable games without buying them, first two were my brother's, the third one my roommate. The first was interesting I thought, it was unique, rough around the edges, but it seemed like they had a good idea at least. And then, the second one came. And they didn't fix anything, just added new features. Combat was still broken, the NPCs were still uninteresting, the story was still a fragmented mess, moral choices were a joke, and your avatar acts like a mute idiot. And then the third comes and it actually has LESS features than the second and all the same problems. Hell I think it's even a shorter game. Yahtzee nailed it, the only thing keeping this game going is the fact it's an exclusive title to attract fanboys, I honestly think were it on both systems it would sell less overall!

 

[Harkwell]

Yeah, I got tripped up by that 150 day bit too. NEXT TIME I play, im going to buy as much fucking houses as I can at the start and just let the money pile up. Because you know...theres no need to buy anything else than your starting guns and clothes.

As if you got that many choices in guns and clothes...
Or moral decisions...

 

[Racecarlock]

I love it when Yahtzee makes some uber strong and valid points about the games he is reviewing.
Seriously how is getting money to LIVE an act of EVIL???? :O
IF the population knew what was gona happen they`d freaking throw their money at him....
Anyway this was one of my favorite episodes ) seems to me yahtzee is going back on track

Has anyone ever noticed that LIVE is EVIL backwards and vice versa? Weird, huh?

Anyways, think of it like this yahtzee, now that you've reviewed fable 3, people will shut up about it now, won't they? If anything that's probably the only positive thing you'll get out of playing and reviewing the game.

If he has trouble looking for other games to review, he could review Half Life 2. (He's already reviewed Silent Hill 2. Why not Half Life?)

Well, that's easy. He already did. http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/10-The-Orange-Box

Oh. I wonder why he didn't just title it "Half Life 2".

Um, because he reviewed the other games in the package too? Half life 2 isn't the only game that matters you know.