Zero Punctuation: Fallout 3

Arkitext

New member
Mar 25, 2008
100
0
0
Dear Mr. Yahtzee,

I have to say I was dissapointed with your latest review. Not because you're wrong, but because I'm so addicted to this game and quite how immersively brilliant it is, I was riding all my caps... damn it.

Okay start again... I was hoping that you could work your cynical magic and break the spell this game holds over me. Unfortunately this hasn't happened, and now I'm very much likely to continue enjoying this phenomenal game far, far past the point where I care about how long I've been spending in it, this point lies in an area of time which I like to term the "Momorpuhgur Zone". You can keep that one, but it'll cost you a Chinese Assault Rifle, a Mini Nuke or 150 Caps (or an item of equal trade value).

Manly Hugs and Kisses,
President Arkitext, The White House, D.C.

P.S. Your review of Dead Space was spot on.
P.P.S Not enough swearing in this episode.
 

Vromnir

New member
Sep 23, 2008
106
0
0
Wrds said:
finally someone reviews this that i actually agree with. Thanks this was a great review.

hilarious and i couldnt agree more with everything you said

every review looks at it from a Fallout series point of view, but i looked at it right away from an Oblivion point of view.
Why?

Its a Fallout game, so look at it from a Fallout point of view.
 

ckam

Make America Great For Who?
Oct 8, 2008
1,618
0
0
I thought Yahtsee was very interested in that First-Person platform jumping game... Mirror's Edge! That's it, now I remember. Anyways good review, as always. Now I might actually check this out and still hate it.
 

Anaphyis

New member
Jun 17, 2008
115
0
0
DeathQuaker said:
imbaczek said:
if you really haven't played fallout 2, then i kinda forgive for this review. now go play it, coz now is the time and you're several years behind.
If I've sussed Yahtzee's playing preferences right, he probably would've gotten frustrated with Fallout 1 and 2's slow-paced combat and the way your followers tended to keep shooting you to death all the time and gave up before he could see those games' many good points. (Not that follower AI is great in FO3, but at least my best friends aren't constantly "accidentally" emptying an SMG into my rear end.)
Well, actually, they do. You also better pick up any missile launcher or fat man up before they do or you will notice how much more damaging the splash damage of a nuke is for you then a supermutant while you get blown back into Oblivion (pun intendet). And nothing beats one of your companions laser gattling his name into your ass.

@Topic:

Beside the "Pretty good" thing, which is a Crowning Moment Of Awesome, I can hardly escape the impression Yahtzee never finished the damn game because while the game is great in some aspects and can be forgiven the tiny little things nibbling on your shins, the main quest and especially the ending is just insulting. The endbosses are a joke, even without a high speech skill, the last decision is nonsensical in every damn way - especially if you have a companion with basically a free "get out of prison" card who could do that job just as well - a extremly short ending sequence without any of the flair of it's predecessors and of course the simple fact that you cannot continue after solving the main quest ... in a SANDBOX GAME!

Futhermore, the karma system is so easily exploited a five year old could do it, VATS is a god cheat in its own, the entirety of the stats and perks have - with few exceptions - little to no effect on the game and the dialog is as always in Bethesda games very badly written.

Again, like in Oblivion, it really has potential for greatness. Just somehow I think Bethesda has some strange work sharing strategy, where the sidequests are written by witty and intelligent human beeings while the main quest is developed by a retarded manatee.

Also, I like the beginning. Nice way to immerse you into the world and make the whole character creation thing more part of the gameplay then the typical excel spreadsheed RPG approach. However - and this goes for every damn tutorial - when do you learn to make it skippable for gods sake? I don't want to go through these 30 minutes when starting with another, more dickhead character.

Anyway, great job Mr. Obama!
 

Therumancer

Citation Needed
Nov 28, 2007
9,909
0
0
Well, Yahtzee is not much for stat based, turn based games, unlike me. So I'd imagine he really hated Fallout 1 & 2 if he bothered to play them. I notice that one of his bigged complaints was the VATS system, yet ultimatly that is one of the biggest redeeming features of the game to me. Yes I can play FPS type games, but I tend to vastly prefer RPGs.

Overall, I think Fallout 3 was a pretty bloody awesome game. However I don't think it was a good FALLOUT game. Not simply because I would have preferred Van Buren (which I probably would have) but simply because the game didn't capture the atmosphere of the previous games. It had little of the depravity, sex, or sick humor of the previous games, when as a sequel it should have carried those elements forward to new and unprecedented levels.

I guess the biggest problem is that Bethesda has become a group of cowards, especially given the liberal establishment being in charge right now (not a major political criticism, but understand I'm miffed still about "Hot Coffee" and how Hillary Clinton seemed to lead the charge there, and then it snowballed into the destruction of Manhunt 2's content). I notice they were screaming for forgiveness from the ESRB over fan-made nudity patches for Oblivion, and that Fallout 3 is missing a set of editing/design tools. Unlike many I don't think that is a mistake, and Bethesda is pondering how to release such a thing while still being able to control/censor the content people release on their own.

Ultimatly I simply think Bethesda should have launched a totally new post apocolyptic franchise without the "Fallout" name attached, simply because they should have realized from day #1 that they were going to be unwilling to do a lot of what made that game great.

Look at it this way: Yahtzee nailed Fable 2 for being unable to kill your kids. Well Fallout 3 goes one step further. Not only are you able to kill kids in Fallout 3, but they are obnoxious brats who point guns at you (Little Lamplight referance).

Truth be told as someone who likes post apocolyptic RPGs, and turn based RPGs, I would like to see something like the original Fallouts with new technology.

Also I think Bethesda would be better served to pick up TSR/WoTC's old "Gamma World" liscence. The stat engine being a bit more like Oblivion in most editions, and it also has flashy mutant powers and such that don't belong in Fallout, but would allow them to really take advantage of flashy first/third person effects. Gamma World also having no real expectations of a certain level of depravity, and it was always high camp, which means it fits their style a little bit better than the defining bitter satire of the Fallout series.
 

Poptart Fairy

New member
Jan 31, 2008
37
0
0
derpa said:
Which is flawed.
Third person is third person, dear.

No you can't.
I'm playing it just like the originals. Use VATs, wait for AP to recharge, repeat. Feels just like the originals to me.

*Facepalm.
Yup, thought so. You can't refute it. I'm guessing you're one of those NMA berks who seeth hate and bile about the game, but run off and cry in a corner when called out on specifics.
 

Undead Dragon King

Evil Spacefaring Mantis
Apr 25, 2008
1,149
0
0
That was review one of my favs. Plus Fallout 3 is just an awesome game.

VATS gets even more fun when you get the "bloody mess" (I think that's what it's called...) perk.

Plus, it's not that I hate at the manual FPS aspect of the game, but VATS is not only more entertaining, but you save a lot more bullets that way.

WTG, Yahtzee.
 

Spacelord

New member
May 7, 2008
1,811
0
0
I actually really enjoyed the VAT system.

But then I am one of the worst FPS players I know, so I guess he's right. -_-
 

Agent_No_One

New member
Apr 18, 2008
11
0
0
lol the beginning threw me off, great review.
im afraid i had to keep this short i have a 3 o clock branston pickle swim meeting.
 

Xaositect

New member
Mar 6, 2008
452
0
0
Hey, Im pretty surprised how similar to my own views this review actually. Well, at least in some respects. It is a good game, but I have to admit to a certain unexplained sense of boredom playing through every now and again.

Still, while its nice to see the leveling up too fast get a mention, there was no point about how the maximum amount of levels can be reached before youve even passed the halfway mark of this game. Maybe Im being a reactionary tit by saying this, but I got a distinct impression this was Bethesdas insulting the player returning from Oblivion. I felt the lack of guilds, and exciting things to do in them was Bethesdas idiotic way to try and make sure I didnt get overwhelmed by Oblivion. It succeeded wholeheartedly by leaving completely and totally underwhelmed. Fallout 3's ridiculously generous xp and levelling, not to mention low cap, makes me feel like Bethesda was operating under the assumption I wasnt in for the long haul and fixed leveling to cater to that. Again, if this is the case, it worked like a charm because levelling up too fast is one area that destroyed some of my interest in continuing to play the game. Levelling up would be rewarding if you didnt do it again a short time later, that is until you hit the level cap and all sense of reward in participating in combat is destroyed. Once you hit level 20, if you ask me you should just gun it Oblivion tower style and finish the game sooner.

Also, Im surprised I didnt see the main plot take a horrendous beating. I have played Fallout 1 and 2 (Im about to commit Fallout blasphemy here, so true Fallout fans get ready to flame me) and while I think they are good games and respect them, they have to me some of the worst main plots ever created. Its simply "fetch quest" followed by "villain hunt". Ill admit to the backstory often being much more interesting, and that outside of that bare bones view of the plot, interesting stuff does happen but still, I cant stand the main plots. This means that Fallout 3 is for me a worthy successor, because it has a crap main plot that even goes so far as to rip off the original plot.

*Spoilers to those who havent finished fallout 3 or the first Fallout!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Both Fallout and Fallout 3 plotline wise can be summed up this way to me: Find Water Chip/Father - Enclave/Mutant army is revealed - stop The Master's/President Eden's plan to mutate everyone/kill all mutants to achieve "unity"/"purity".

Also, great point about Bethesda wasting voice acting talent. Its definitely not the first time Ive heard that pointed out about them, but it wasnt quite as humorously done as it was in that review. Overall though, Fallout 3 has given me a lot of enjoyment, so even though its got some easy to make criticisms, I still consider it to be a good game, well worth the money I paid.
 

alienmastermind

New member
Nov 19, 2008
6
0
0
I really liked the game. So much so, that I wrote and drew two comics about it at another site.

This is the second ZP to make me laugh out loud in the first three seconds. The other was the GTA IV one. I don't remember why...Also the Halo 3 bloom illustration was exactly what I thought about Halo 3.

Good one this time Yahtzee.

Oh, and I'm a guy who beat 5 days a Stranger with only two of the hints. Damn that ritual.

Yahtzee, it's good to see a fella make good. I also have the audio from your webcomic rant as my sort of ten commandments, though my comic is about two dudes...and one of them is sort of like me...neither are particularly 'wacky' or 'cool'.

That's why you're making fat bags of that awesome neon colored Australian money, and I'm watching you and pissing myself laughing.

Thanks for the hard work and laughs,

Alienmastermind.
 

keithburgun

New member
Aug 1, 2007
66
0
0
This review wasn't nearly critical enough. Check out mine. http://expensiveplanetarium.blogspot.com/2008/10/comments-on-fallout-3.html
 

alienmastermind

New member
Nov 19, 2008
6
0
0
Hey Xaositect, is your avatar from Red Dwarf? If so, will you be my friend?

:)

Spoiler: The ending, the very ending of the game...I had a special friend with me. Someone who should have been able to avoid all of the 'all or nothing' decision. That for me was a real piece of crap storytelling. Don't let me have a friend who literally thirty minutes ago did the same exact thing for me to get the G.E.C.K. and CAN'T do it at the end and prevent me or some lady from dying.

Total hog balls.
 

Copter400

New member
Sep 14, 2007
1,813
0
0
MolotoK said:
Has Yahtzee ever played the originals?
I guess he didn't, because then he wouldn't compare fallout 3 to Branston Pickle.

I expected much more of a bashing for FO3 by Yahtzee.
It's probably the most disappointing game in the last decade or so and definetly the worst sequel ever made but no reviewer seems to notice....
As we all know children, it is a terrible crime to like a game that MolotoK thinks was bad.

Okay, stretching that a bit too much.

I completely disagree with your view of the game being "the most disappointing game in the last decade". I think the game is crazy fun and I'm looking forward to finally completing my last school assessment so that I can play it until my eyes Fallout 3. I can't understand why someone would not like it. However, I don't say that by not liking it, you are ignorant. I don't suggest that you've missed some higher experience that would completely change your opinion of the game.

So you think that it's a terrible game? Fantastic. Just don't blurt out that the people who like it are wrong.
 

Caimekaze

New member
Feb 2, 2008
857
0
0
It's not loading for me.
=/
This happens every time they come out new. I can't wait for it to load...