Zero Punctuation: Fallout: New Vegas

[Trombone_Hero]

Nice review, loved the music.

Still might buy the game since I haven't really played fallout 3.

 

[Atmos Duality]

so a game regardless of how good can't be a game of the year?

I can just as easily say "Despite how bad it is." and mean the same thing.
See how it works both ways? I'm being objective here, not subjective.

When a game has measurable, technical failures like all of these Gamebryo-Engine games have, do they really deserve those accolades year after year? I honestly can't say they do.

We've lowered our standards so glitchy, unfinished games can take on the mantle of "Best of the Best".
Today, as long as it works on the Xbox 360, and sports the latest Dynamic Bloom Lighting and Pixel Shader 2 tech, it's excused from having technical issues because DAMN IT LOOKS GOOD.

Real story: You remember Fallout 3, and how it sported those amazing Havoc Physics?
They were so buggy, that when I entered the Capital Building and the Congressional Hall, the corpse of a dead mercenary glitched out, stretched into a thin human boomerang, and FLEW AROUND THE ROOM SPINNING VIOLENTLY due to shitty programming.

I laughed my ass off, and then cried a little because I realized what I was playing was a gilded turd. By this point though, I hadn't finished the RUSHED-OUT-THE-DOOR-IN-A-DAY script and ending for the main story, so I was still optimistic.

Back on topic...

Bethesda has had EIGHT YEARS to iron out the bugs in the Gamebryo Engine (starting with Morrowind. Oh yes. The Oblivion engine is a direct descendant of Morrowind's, plus the Radiant AI.)
In that time, DOZENS of solid, works-out-of-the-box game engines have rolled by in the mainstream. Hundreds, if you count indie-projects like "Spring".

They have no excuse for that. None. And yet these assclowns keep awarding GOTY to them.
Why? Well, it's great marketing for one. And I remember the marketing blitz they did with Fallout 3. I watched the live demo, and thought it was awesome.

Little did I know that they crammed all the best parts of the game into the first 30 minutes of gameplay. And there's no plot threads to follow apart from the main story, so once you've done your mission, that's it.
No more characterization. Just get yer reward and it's out the door. Have fun doing Bethesda's Job with the GECK though! They know we did in Oblivion!

And just to drive the point home, there is an example of a game engine that has evolved and improved over the years, and is still in use today despite being 8 years old: Valve's Counterstrike: Source Engine.
It's multi-platform. It very VERY RARELY crashes. It too, uses Havoc Physics.

So I ask: Why do we lower our standards like this? Why should we expect the game to crash every 30 minutes if we didn't win the video card lottery?
How long are we going to tolerate this sequel exploitation model until we all wake up and realize that we've been playing the same fucking thing for 3 years?

Well, as long as recycled products like New Vegas and Black Ops continue to win accolades and churn out money, forever.

And that's just fucking depressing.

 

[loc978]

Much as I love the game, this review comically highlights many of my frustrations with it (though not my biggest one: shitty map physics. If I'm gonna be stopped by a wall, it had better be visible).

 

[ALPHATT]

While good comedic value, where the hell was the review?

Back in 2008 for fallout 3 or better yet, back in 2007 for oblivion.

 

[Quorothorn]

That was a great rant, Atmos Duality.

---

It still amazes me that people give Yahtzee's opinion any sort of weight. He's a comedian not a critic, folks. He may point out things that are worth your time to consider, but if you base your purchasing decision solely upon his 'reviews', you're really doing yourself a disservice. You may bleat now. Thank you.

Isn't that a bit contradictory? If he brings up points worthy of consideration, why does it amaze you that people give his opinion "any sort of weight"?

 

[deleted+75193]

DELETED

 

[Senaro]

While good comedic value, where the hell was the review?

Refer to Fallout 3.

 

[Misterian]

That review actually gives me the impression you enjoyed the game, until it froze on you.

I've waited forever to see you review that game, and it still makes me excited to get my hands on it, Am I right to do so? or am I not interpreting your review properly?

 

[aristos_achaion]

Goodness, Yahtzee was rushing through that game--I thought I got to New Vegas a bit ahead of schedule, and I had about 5000 caps and a couple of weeks of game time under my belt beforehand. Great review, though -- it's great to see a review that isn't just complaining about the bugs.

ED: I'd kind of been hoping that Yahtzee would get jumped by Deathclaws rather than Cazadors on his northerly shortcut...I was really wondering what ZP art he'd break out for a Deathclaw...

On my first play though I was broke by the time I hit vegas because I always felt the need to purchase every Stimpack and doctor bag I could find and constantly bought shiny new things that were only marginally better than my rusty old things. On my second play through I had enormous piles of money because I realized if I was simply not stupid when playing I wouldn't need a billion stimpacks and doctor bags and felt no need to check out shiny new things when I could just find a version of it eventually for free anyhow.

Admittedly, my experience might have been due to the fact that I specialized in energy weapons right off the bat, so I was using only a laser pistol for the first part of the game. There weren't really any interesting armor upgrades that couldn't be looted (and, seriously, you get more armor than you know what to do with), so really I didn't have much to do with caps other than ammo you couldn't buy for love nor money.

Also, while I understand where Yahtzee is coming from, it's really funny to hear him say that 2k caps seemed like more than there were in the whole world, considering my current character is sitting on 23k after a big spending spree (had to invest in ammo & repairs before clearing out The Fort), and I've probably 40-60k of collected loot I can't be bothered to sell. I find the economy marvelously realistic: it works about as well as an economy based on bottle caps would IRL. A few high-stakes games of Caravan (even with a default, randomized deck) will get you several thousand caps in no time, and you get so much random loot that I tend to clear out the merchants' supply of cash, leaving me with what's basically a barter economy.

Also, it's odd he didn't realize there were other ways of getting in The Strip -- he seemed to mostly miss out on side questing or, for that matter, gambling. He also seemed to miss out on the little things that make NV so much better than Fallout 3 -- being able to specialize in energy weapons right from the start, the map feeling *huge* precisely because of the Cazadors and Deathclaws in the middle, the fact that the factions are actually pretty realistically defined, with no clear "good" or "evil" factions (even Caesar makes a convincing case for why he's doing the right thing).

Oh, and Yahtzee...you remember how you complained in your Fallout 3 review about big-name voice actors having bit roles and falling off the face of the planet? NV lets you have Felicia Day following you around punching things and Wayne Newton reading your exploits on the radio. They addressed your first complaint in the episode! I'd at least think that deserves a mention...

All in all, a quality ZP episode, but one that didn't really delve that deep into its subject material. Still high-larious.

 

[Ohlookit'sMatty]

This was a fun review to watch and makes me want to unpack my copy of New Vegas, install it and steal everything that is not nailed down!

-M

 

[samaugsch]

Soda has sugar in it which dehydrates you, its common sense.

You mean common knowledge.

 

[samaugsch]

It still amazes me that people give Yahtzee's opinion any sort of weight. He's a comedian not a critic, folks. He may point out things that are worth your time to consider, but if you base your purchasing decision solely upon his 'reviews', you're really doing yourself a disservice. You may bleat now. Thank you.

About all that was really relevent was the bit about how it's basically 'Fallout: More Edition', and the lock-up... which, come to think of it, isn't really all that accurate, because the damn thing locks up on me constantly. If he only experienced the one, and it was that far into the game (at least 4-6 hours of playing), he should consider himself lucky.

Actually, he says in his SSBB viewer comment review that he's a critic.

 

[Ldude893]

That's it, I'm not buying New Vegas till they fix all the bugs.

 

[MazeMinion]

Wasn't much of a review, but hell, who cares?

It's Yahtzee and it's hilarious.

 

[dalek sec]

I think after hearing about so many game crashing glitches from all across the board I think I'm going to wait for the game of the year edition to come out with all the DLC stuff as well on it. Still, awesome change of pace from your normal reviews and the music was a funny as hell touch.

 

[Swifteye]

While the video was funny and it's always nice to change things up a bit, I have to ask: Where was the actual review bit? More in Extra Punctuation maybe?

Noo. There isn't going to be a review. Mostly cause it's exactly like fallout three with the expection of hardcore mode and the enviroment both of which he gave a few cents of mentioning before going into this more entertaing mode to make up for what could have been a repetive review. Think wolfenstein.

 

[speakeasysyn]

Lol I had my game freeze right in the middle of being attack by flies.(And then some...)

I was waiting with great anticipation for this review and it was everything I had hoped for coming from the Charasmatic-Stallion Yahtzee.

Bugs & glitches in NV suckkkk

 

[Danpascooch]

This is probably my favorite review ever, it's been so long since I wish a review was LONGER.

Please use this format more often.

 

[HentMas]

Jesus, i loved the bit of H2O

i made the same mistake and thougt simmilar as to what he thougt

i bursted with laughter at that bit.