Zero Punctuation: FIFA 13

[triggrhappy94]

I love Hunter S Thompson!
I feel like I normally understand Yahtzee's references (it's Two Best Friends who're all over the place), but this one really stuck out.

 

[RoyalSorceress]

That was one of Yahtzee's best reviews ever. I was cracking up from start to finish.

Tokyo Jungle sounds cool.

 

[KarlMonster]

The reviews haven't lost their charm, insight, or panache.

HOWEVER.

Mister Croshaw, could you please control the speed of your banter?
I won't mind if the videos break the 6 or 10 minute mark.

Blinding speed + Brittralian accent + colloquialisms + clever phrases = linguistic hash

I'd enjoy it all much more if I didn't have to rewind 8 times to try to discover if there was a joke, and 5 more times to discover what the joke was.

Did you intend for people to play the video 5 times to understand it?

 

[Yopaz]

Since you are so wise here, can you explain me what changes there are in Fifa 13 compared to Fifa 12? Yes, all shooter games contain shooting. However from what I can assume about Fifa 13 is that there's some mild tweaks in graphics and maybe some in gameplay, maybe introduce new players (I know one game introduced long retired players as a tribute). However the rules are the same, there are no new maps since all football fields have to be 68x105 meters.

It's popular just like Call of Duty, but just like Call of Duty there's hardly any changes. At least Call of Duty offers a new story with the game.

I'm not trying to argue here, I'm just curious because as I see it Fifa 13 is little more than a game where you play football.

To start with, I was being a little facetious when comparing it to shooters or RTS' games, but I was just trying to make a point.

Anyway, although the rules of football, and therefore the basics of FIFA, never really change, it's about the underlying mechanics. I'm not going to say that FIFA changes drastically every year, some years very little changes (this was especially true in the mid 00's, around 2004-2007) but other years the changes are huge. For instance, as someone who played a lot of Fifa 11, the jump to 12 was incredible. The game essentially played entirely differently, the physics were completely different, the way you defended had changed. Now massive changes like that didn't come without some bugs and unforseen problems.

Fifa 13 fixes a lot of the problems that 12 had, then fine tuned a lot of aspects on the gameplay, and made some additions of its own, better attacking AI, a more realistic physics engine that makes a real difference to how the game plays. If you're someone who never plays football games you probably wouldn't realise how much of a differnece some iterations actually make.

All that said, I always play the demos before buying the full game, because sometimes there really isn't much difference apart from a player update. I won't buy a new Fifa if it doesn't make some actual improvements.

OK, I still don't see how that makes Fifa games as different as shooters are from each other. Fifa 13 offered bug fixes and physics change. In shooters we have actual variety. There's Deus Ex, there's Call of Duty, there's Halo, there's Borderlands There's S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

Fifa games improve and change, but calling people ignorant for generalizing them then making an even bigger generalization yourself just makes you look bad.

 

[ExtraDebit]

Wow. He's never reviewed a Fifa game before, despite their immense popularity.

By your logic since smoking cigarette is so popular I should inhale that poison in my lungs too?

 

[I.Muir]

You poke around in cataclysm but not in mist of pandaria
Don't let the kung-fu panda part fool you, it's the better expansion
Not that Id blame you for never going back to an mmo again
Still since Ive played both, GW2 was probably better than the cataclysm expansion but objectively Wow is still the better game and for more reasons than just 'it's making the most money' and that doesn't happen for no reason

..... i was going to post a reply about how much i disagree about MoP but then i decided no, enough is enough blizzard have enough of my soul already i need to save a little bit so supermarket doors will still open when i approach.

I can't deny that they aren't using the remnants of my soul as a dish cloth by now
However I like the partial phasing they are doing because the completion of quests now seems to achieve something
I like how quests are broken into segments and almost all linked together
As to the pandas themselves..... well. Least interesting playable race and that's taking into account blood elves and humans.
I don't like how the textures are sub par
I don't like that they did not introduce more bones into all races at the start of the expac
Lich king is the closest contender and might be better depending on what day you ask me

 

[Nothemama]

is there any point even reviewing fifa games? Man kicks ball. ball goes into net. the end! Bring out the NBA Jam equivelant of Fifa then we'll talk!
And whats with indie survival horror games always being named after young girls?

 

[razer17]

OK, I still don't see how that makes Fifa games as different as shooters are from each other. Fifa 13 offered bug fixes and physics change. In shooters we have actual variety. There's Deus Ex, there's Call of Duty, there's Halo, there's Borderlands There's S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

Fifa games improve and change, but calling people ignorant for generalizing them then making an even bigger generalization yourself just makes you look bad.

Okay, I apologise for the way I started, I was annoyed and that clearly showed.

Look at it this way: Every year Call of Duty releases a new game, and what has changed? The story and the maps. That's kind of superficial in a way, because it doesn't change the way the game plays. In FIFA they don't change the story or the maps (because there aren't any), but they do change the physics and the mechanisms. That might not sound a lot, but in a football game some of these changes can drastically differ the way the game is played. In a shooter adding realistic physics looks good, but doesn't really DO anything. In FIFA these physics changes make a huge impact.

Yes, it's still 11 v 11 kicking a sphere, but it plays a lot differently. It's hard to explain to someone who doesn't play them, so I'm going to simplify: Fifa 11 to Fifa 12 was like going from CoD 3 to CoD 4 in terms of gameplay change.

 

[Yopaz]

OK, I still don't see how that makes Fifa games as different as shooters are from each other. Fifa 13 offered bug fixes and physics change. In shooters we have actual variety. There's Deus Ex, there's Call of Duty, there's Halo, there's Borderlands There's S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

Fifa games improve and change, but calling people ignorant for generalizing them then making an even bigger generalization yourself just makes you look bad.

Okay, I apologise for the way I started, I was annoyed and that clearly showed.

Look at it this way: Every year Call of Duty releases a new game, and what has changed? The story and the maps. That's kind of superficial in a way, because it doesn't change the way the game plays. In FIFA they don't change the story or the maps (because there aren't any), but they do change the physics and the mechanisms. That might not sound a lot, but in a football game some of these changes can drastically differ the way the game is played. In a shooter adding realistic physics looks good, but doesn't really DO anything. In FIFA these physics changes make a huge impact.

Yes, it's still 11 v 11 kicking a sphere, but it plays a lot differently. It's hard to explain to someone who doesn't play them, so I'm going to simplify: Fifa 11 to Fifa 12 was like going from CoD 3 to CoD 4 in terms of gameplay change.

When you start calling out Call of Duty as the example then everyone agrees with you. The Zero Punctuation of Battlefield 3 And Modern Warfare 3 wasn't too different from this one. Most people on this site who comes with snarky comments about Fifa will say much the same about Call of Duty. That doesn't make the changes in every Fifa game any grander. It's still much the same as the last and enjoyable for those who like the series. For those who don't it's just the same as the previous. I have played a little of the different Fifa installments and a little of all the Call of Duty installments. Neither of the series seem to introduce anything strikingly new.

Enjoy it for what it's worth, but don't expect those who aren't interested to care about that a part of the game has been tweaked.

 

[Frostbyte666]

Heh this was a fun review to listen to also have to say this from his last extra punctuation on multiplayer creep

The 1 game annoying me a bit at the moment with social rankings is Tokyo Jungle with every time I die being asked do you want to post your high score, to which my response is no why didn't you implement a replay button instead, It would be far more useful than navigating menus to play the same animal again and being mauled by a panther at year 15, damn this game hates labradors.

Called it.

 

[Danceofmasks]

Did you just call Fifa 13 a positive thing?
Fuck you.

Should have used those seconds to cover FTL or something.

 

[Triaed]

Best review of a sports game. I should get Fifa 13... or not

 

[idodo35]

so over all he only said positive things on...
FIFA 13?!
huh

 

[charliesbass]

Wow. He's never reviewed a Fifa game before, despite their immense popularity.

By your logic since smoking cigarette is so popular I should inhale that poison in my lungs too?

Well no, I'm not saying that every one SHOULD review this stupid franchise, I'm saying that I'm surprised he hasn't reviewed it because it's extremely popular. When FIFA 12 and 11 and 10 were insanely popular, he didn't even acknowledge it. It's like he just walked pass a dead baby on the street without even looking at it, or acknowledging it's existence. I'm not saying everyone HAS to acknowledge it, just that I'm surprised he hasn't. I'm sure (hardly) reviewing this game was largely attributed to peer pressure.

 

[Kayweg]

Wow. He's never reviewed a Fifa game before, despite their immense popularity.

And he still hasn't.

 

[Aptspire]

*Loves stealth games*
*Hates everything that was released this week*
So, Australia hasn't got "Dishonored" yet, I'll wager...
Oh well, next week maybe...

 

[charliesbass]

Wow. He's never reviewed a Fifa game before, despite their immense popularity.

And he still hasn't.

I think the brief explanation at the end counts as a review. A review of FIFA 13 nonetheless.

 

[kanbabrif]

Pat yourself on the back, Yahtzee, because you still got it.

OT: Meh, PES is better.

 

[Johnlives]

Seems to me Yahtzee's is after some free Snicker. So when can we expect the Pro Evo review?

 

[MB202]

Didn't Yahtzee mention that he sleep sin a hammock attacked to two naked ladies at the Escapist Expo?