Zero Punctuation: FIFA 13

[Latenz1134]

Football is never boring: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF_uOgyBK1c

This is the greatest video about football I have ever seen, and I thank you for that!

 

[likalaruku]

You find two halves of a mirror.
Stick them on a wall.
Slap a pinecone on it.
Set it on fire.
The door unlocks.

Sounds like Kings Quest 5 for some reason.

 

[ThunderCavalier]

Definitely one of his better reviews, had me laughing from intro to outro, well done!

Also, I wouldn't call Fifa 2013 a game, more a full priced update.

The reason why I don't play sports games.

 

[Lokithrsourcerer]

yep, perfect review of Fifa 13 the only other option would be "this time it has a 13 on the end and the npcs have either got different faces or the devs have developed their characters by giving them a different coloured shirt!"

 

[Lokithrsourcerer]

Why does he called it football? Its called soccer.

;D

no no no no no.... i hate the game but it IS football "american football" is a load of adverts with some big men in armor in between they don't even use there feet for god's sake

(i'm assuming your winky smiley says you really know what i mean ;p)

 

[Lokithrsourcerer]

You poke around in cataclysm but not in mist of pandaria
Don't let the kung-fu panda part fool you, it's the better expansion
Not that Id blame you for never going back to an mmo again
Still since Ive played both, GW2 was probably better than the cataclysm expansion but objectively Wow is still the better game and for more reasons than just 'it's making the most money' and that doesn't happen for no reason

..... i was going to post a reply about how much i disagree about MoP but then i decided no, enough is enough blizzard have enough of my soul already i need to save a little bit so supermarket doors will still open when i approach.

 

[Roman Monaghan]

This is literally the best video he's done in years.

 

[Roman Monaghan]

If it's not Dishonored next week I'm going to be shocked. It seems right up his alley

Yes, review a game literally the week after it comes out. When there's also XCOM and RE 6 to get through. In fact he literally said at the end of the video that next week will be RE 6.

I'd give it at least two weeks and at most a month until Dishonored comes up.

 

[Evil Smurf]

I had no idea FIFA 13 was on XBLA

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

(i'm assuming your winky smiley says you really know what i mean ;p)

Yep, there are quite a few Europeans and Australians on here and I know I would be chewed out if I was serious. hahaha

 

[MrHide-Patten]

before video: who let Yahtzee have a sports game.

during video: Indi-wank ahead

after video: but how did you feel about the mechanics of getting that round leather sphere into the net?

He felt positively, weren't you listening?!

 

[Mydnyght]

yep, perfect review of Fifa 13 the only other option would be "this time it has a 13 on the end and the npcs have either got different faces or the devs have developed their characters by giving them a different coloured shirt!"

Especially for the Wii version, which is just FIFA 12. LITERALLY.
http://www.wired.com/gamelife/2012/10/fifa-13-wii/

Anyway, I feel stupid for thinking Yahtzee was really going to do a full-on review of a sports game. Instead what do I see?

"FIFA 13 is a game where.... And here's Mark of the Ninja..."
"FIFA 13 is a game.... just like Anna..."
"I'm supposed to review FIFA 13... Tokyo Jungle..."

Only one of the greatest eps of ZP I'll ever see. Well done, Mr. Croshaw. Well done.

 

[AnotherAvatar]

To be honest I was thoroughly disappointed by this review, I mean sure, indie titles or whatever, and it's still funny, but when I saw the title I was rather looking forward to Yahtzee exposing all the massive problems with sports games in a hilarious rant.

Oh well, I guess there is no use beating a dead horse really.


Speaking of dead horses, when are people going to understand that he does his reviews a week in advance and doesn't get advanced copies of the games like the mainstream reviewers?

I mean, damn. If for five years you've been seeing a pattern of him reviewing titles the week after they come out (at least the big ones he cares about) then surely it must be extremely obvious, plus I think he's stated it in ExP before.

 

[Grach]

Then again, reviewing games he doesn't really care about end up being incomplete because of lack of interest or aren't that funny. Kinda of Soul Calibur ages ago, so I think this was the best route.

All in all, one of the best ones he's done.

 

[Ron Alphafight]

Well since FIFA 13 got Yahtzee's stamp of approval, I guess I'll be buying it.

 

[angel85]

so...do you actually like Soccer? I mean I know its the most popular sport in the world outside of the USA but you don't seem very enthusiastic about it.

 

[carpathic]

That sir, was excellent. Best review I have seen by Yahtzee in a while.

The randomness was excellent and I love the comment about the tassels.

Also, I didn't want to hear about FIFA, so thanks for rescuing me!

 

[daxterx2005]

tokyo jungle sounds like a lot of fun. To bad I don't play PS3.

 

[Something Amyss]

I really did not see that one coming.

 

[el derpenburgo]

I wonder what he thinks about the Football Manager games. Spreadsheets AND soccer? I believe that means its Yahtzee's favourite game of all time.