Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII

[ZZoMBiE13]

It's always nice to hear someone else "say it". Something I've thought or felt for a while and then someone with a bit of cred comes along and perfectly encapsulates what I'd say if anyone asked.

You know, the way all you Halo Haters feel when Yahtzee takes (yet another) cheap shot at the Halo franchise. Well it's finally my turn with the whole "Used to like FF games" bit of this video.

So thanks Yahtzee, for pointing out that FF games were far more involving when they required the player to use a little imagination rather than weeks of endless non-questing to accomplish fuckall.

 

[JSkunk22]

I watch ZP cause it's hilarious, especially when he bashes on a game I like, though I only managed a few chuckles this time since it's all complaining I've heard before or just expected. Still 5 hours is a lot to people who don't have time set aside to be "hardcore" in their gaming endeavors, he gets a B- for trying.

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Hahaa! I was waiting for this to happen! Now I can rest easy knowing even Yahtzee hates the moneymilked "sequels" of the FF franchise (just like I do).

 

[300lb. Samoan]

Wow, Was I the only one to find this episode..... Worse than usual?

I mean if you've got a load of work to do with other stuff do that, take a week off from making this show or something.

Well what can I expect from free entertainment.

I thought it was pretty good, he had valid criticisms (i.e. all the shit I've always hated about jrpgs myself {SHUT UP THEY ARE VALID}). It's a lot better than last year's E3 video, and no where near the pile of shite the 'tour of DC' video was. Thank you Yahtzee for reaffirming my complete lack of interest in this game.

 

[Jack and Calumon]

5 fucking hours? This is a hands on, not a review! Shame on you Yahtzee! I forgave you for Alone in the Dark because that was shit and you played through a fair segment of it, but 5 hours? Seriously? Why didn't you just look back and review Duke Nukem 3D since you've also been drooling on his take of FPS styles(See Turok and Bad Company 2)Are you secretly missing him since his last game was cancelled after 12 years? I am!

Calumon: In 5 hours, I broke every window in this house. If I have more, I could have destroyed the whole house.

 

[Alucard44]

I have to agree with Yahtzee on this one.

Ever since 12, the combat has really gone downhill. Why the change from Turn based to semi-RTS?

 

[KeyMaster45]

really? You reviewed FF13 before god of war 3? Though I must thank you for reminding me why I quit playing the FF series after 10.

 

[blackshark121]

No surprise there.

Personally, I think that Yahtzee has to put his prejudice behind him and listen to the characters, because everything that is described in the datalog is told to us in the cinematics. Also, the story is NOT going to make sense in 5 hours. The characters need the 20 to become likeable as you see their personalities unfold.

I can understand that Yahtzee likes jumping right into the action, not listening to a semi-complex drama.

 

[mchoueiri]

I enjoyed it and still do Im about on the second disc. The dialogue is shit but we all saw that coming and the characters are run of the mill Jrpg characters. But I enjoy the combat and enjoy the plot so I like the game.

 

[dfphetteplace]

I'm glad I didn't waste my time with this dreck. I usually take this man's reviews with a grain of salt, but you know what? I'm going to trust him on this one. I'm sick of all the angsty emo crap going on in these games. Can't they make a Final Fantasy with a group of people that are harsh and not hurt but pesky things like emotions? They are trying to save the world, but the prom. And doesn't anyone have better things to do with their life than worship this stuff? Three discs? Jesus.

PS: How the hell is reporting everyone for making comments negative about Final Fantasy? Grow up, other people disagree with you. Get over yourself and play a good game for a change.

 

[archvile93]

There was already erotic for that game about a year before it was released (at least I think so, I didn't put alot of effort into finding out).
OT: he just explained why I don't enjoy JRPGs. Annoying characters don't make for good stories. If I recall no one else liked the red headed one. I also like combat that involves me, not click punch button watch character walk up and punch monster, or any variation that tries very poorly to hide it (The Last Remnant comes to mind there). Incidentlly I also don't like most MMOs for that combat reason (And I have to keep paying for a game I already bought).

 

[PandyBear]

Did he say he loved FF6, yet shown a image of FF 3? or did i miss something? xD

 

[Jamielordofgingers]

I was somwhat disappointed that he didn't point out the semi-aussie voices on Fang and Kookie Spice, but this was still an awesome review, and i'm a fan of the games.

 

[Barbie Boy]

everytime somone insults final fantasy XIII I feel a little better inside, I almost didn't buy the game since I didn't think I would like it and I still managed to be disapointed by it

 

[Bobipine]

I never got in the hype of FFXIII... then everybody looked surprised because I didn't bought it... I tried it from a friend, got hyped for it, and now it's gone, even before seeing this review, which I agree on since I only played 2hours at most. I had some hope for Hope, then I realized he was pretty much what you described, saw my friend play (around 15 hours of game play I think) and he's still the same, except worst. I'm not even surprised there is "adult only" fan work on this game, there was probably some as soon one character design was released. Oh, and how's the bar doing?

 

[ziggy161]

Surprise surprise, he hates it XD
Aww, I wanted an April Fool episode like Unskipable XD

 

[Mr.Mudkip]

Eh, it comes as no surprise that he disliked it. Though I was hopeful....
Oh well. Great review, all that.

 

[Vimbert]

YES. Final Fantasy VI is fucking quality. I'm glad you gave it the shout-out.

 

[cheese_wizington]

Well I for one cared a lot for what happened to the bar.

And it was much more funny than usual.

 

[Mattteus]

...Bar?