This (except that I have played every FF). As much as I like Yahtzee, I'd like to see people start thinking for themselves instead of hanging on his every word.Machines said:
ITT: Yahtzee fans.
Not ITT: Final Fantasy Fans.
Zero Punctuation: Final Fantasy XIII
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
ITT: Yahtzee fans.
Not ITT: Final Fantasy Fans.
Wow, he gave it more time than I would have. I mean, seriously, when you hit the thirteenth game in a series, it's time to stop. Especially THIS series.
As an aside, congrats to Yahtzee for opening The Mana Bar!
As an aside, congrats to Yahtzee for opening The Mana Bar!
Let's face it since the merger between Square and Enix, Final Fantasy games have really started to suck...bad. Last Final Fantasy I enjoyed? FF 9
That was less assinine that I was expecting it to be actually...
The game DOES get good at about the 15-20 hour mark and most of the previous suckage with the characters is in the service of "character development" and once they "develop" they become very, very likable. But Mr. Croshaw was right about one thing, this is NOT good storytelling, especially not for a videogame.
Also...
I KNEW IT! Nobody dislikes FF6!
The game DOES get good at about the 15-20 hour mark and most of the previous suckage with the characters is in the service of "character development" and once they "develop" they become very, very likable. But Mr. Croshaw was right about one thing, this is NOT good storytelling, especially not for a videogame.
Also...
I KNEW IT! Nobody dislikes FF6!
This is one of the reasons why I liked Dragon Quest 8 so much. You start the game, fight a short training battle, and then you're instantly told what your quest is going to be for the rest of the game. None of the wandering around waiting for the plot to start that seems to occupy the first halves of pretty much every other RPG; you just turn on the power and it's "Oh hai the king has been transformed into a monster and the princess into a horse, let's try to change them back kthxbai."
Of course, you do find out that things are a bit more complex than that later on, but your initial goal is never really invalidated. There's no point in the game where you have to stop and ask "Okay, why didn't the game just start here and skip all the tedious setup at the beginning," which is pretty refreshing.
Of course, you do find out that things are a bit more complex than that later on, but your initial goal is never really invalidated. There's no point in the game where you have to stop and ask "Okay, why didn't the game just start here and skip all the tedious setup at the beginning," which is pretty refreshing.
That's probably because FF13 came out before GoW 3.KeyMaster45 said:
OT: Not too surprised with this one. While playing it I thought "This is a JRPG-hater's (aka Yahtzee's) nightmare of a game." Not having the option to play with Japanese dialog does not help as all the characters look very cheesy having Japanese style emoting with English voices, and the voicework so far is rather standard, or maybe this is the result of playing ME2 to death beforehand and being used to Bioware's exceptional voicework. In any case a good review.
Everything said here is true. (I have so far played about 8 hours of FFXIII. I have yet to understand what the fuck is going on as well.)
- The whole combat system business is SHIT. Why can't I walk up to people and hit them by pushing a button? Why must I remote-control my stupid-ass character to do stuff?
- All characters suck, except Lightning (because she hits people when they start talking too much bullshit) and maybe Sazh because he doesn't whine so much. But EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER is a complete fucking whiner. Especially Hope. I "Hope" this annoying bastard falls off a cliff and dies at some point in the game. At that point, I will throw a freaking party. (Okay, there was a point where Lightning left Hope on a rock in the middle of nowhere - unfortuantely the others came to the rescue... BAH!)
- Endless fucking corridors. Why am I even playing these? I just walk from point A to B and bonk some random enemies over the head, and there is ALWAYS a cock-block boss at the end of every
chapter which is ten times harder than what I've faced previously.
- Vanille's VOICE! Vanille TALKING AT ALL! AAAAHHHHH!!
- The cutscenes when the characters talk. WHY MUST THEY TALK! All they do is spout clichés like "Heroes don't run from fights!" and "We can't give up now!" The most useless ones are the ones where they just stop to say "Oh man, I need to rest *heavy sigh, sits down*" and then tell eachother how tired/old/young kids they are.
Sometimes I think FFXIII would've made a better movie. If nobody ever talked, because the writers sure as hell don't know what they're doing.
And why do I keep playing? Because I'm a sincerely hoping for that part when the game actually picks up and I know what the fuck is going on (and when I get out of the stupid damned Corridors of Endless Doom...
- The whole combat system business is SHIT. Why can't I walk up to people and hit them by pushing a button? Why must I remote-control my stupid-ass character to do stuff?
- All characters suck, except Lightning (because she hits people when they start talking too much bullshit) and maybe Sazh because he doesn't whine so much. But EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER is a complete fucking whiner. Especially Hope. I "Hope" this annoying bastard falls off a cliff and dies at some point in the game. At that point, I will throw a freaking party. (Okay, there was a point where Lightning left Hope on a rock in the middle of nowhere - unfortuantely the others came to the rescue... BAH!)
- Endless fucking corridors. Why am I even playing these? I just walk from point A to B and bonk some random enemies over the head, and there is ALWAYS a cock-block boss at the end of every
chapter which is ten times harder than what I've faced previously.
- Vanille's VOICE! Vanille TALKING AT ALL! AAAAHHHHH!!
- The cutscenes when the characters talk. WHY MUST THEY TALK! All they do is spout clichés like "Heroes don't run from fights!" and "We can't give up now!" The most useless ones are the ones where they just stop to say "Oh man, I need to rest *heavy sigh, sits down*" and then tell eachother how tired/old/young kids they are.
Sometimes I think FFXIII would've made a better movie. If nobody ever talked, because the writers sure as hell don't know what they're doing.
And why do I keep playing? Because I'm a sincerely hoping for that part when the game actually picks up and I know what the fuck is going on (and when I get out of the stupid damned Corridors of Endless Doom...
Something Yahtzee has always said is "it gets better later" isn't a decent excuse. I tend to agree with him, and really, how many of us are going to play a game that we hate for five hours?nicodeemus327 said:
There is the Yahtzee I know and enjoy. loved this episode so much. the last few were good but this was awesome. good show.
I approve this review.
Thank you for saying this out loud. I bought FFXIII on launch day, played it for about 8 hours, then put it aside because quite frankly, all of my JRPG senses exploded and need a couple of weeks/months of repairs before they can function again.
What is the point of sticking a 20 hours linear dungeon corridor hand-holding beat'em up in front of what is supposed to be a RPG? And to introduce us to an "Easy Automatic" battle system and a set of awful, papier mache characters? Drive-by dialogue what? This is supposed to wow us and make us play on? Or is it some kind of "filter" to weed out the amateur masochists from the pros?
Still. Paid good money for this game. So *sigh* I will probably digest it completely over time. But, the intial part certainly has to be swallowed in small doses. Especially when things such Vanilla and Hope are hopping down the dungeon corridors...
Thank you for saying this out loud. I bought FFXIII on launch day, played it for about 8 hours, then put it aside because quite frankly, all of my JRPG senses exploded and need a couple of weeks/months of repairs before they can function again.
What is the point of sticking a 20 hours linear dungeon corridor hand-holding beat'em up in front of what is supposed to be a RPG? And to introduce us to an "Easy Automatic" battle system and a set of awful, papier mache characters? Drive-by dialogue what? This is supposed to wow us and make us play on? Or is it some kind of "filter" to weed out the amateur masochists from the pros?
Still. Paid good money for this game. So *sigh* I will probably digest it completely over time. But, the intial part certainly has to be swallowed in small doses. Especially when things such Vanilla and Hope are hopping down the dungeon corridors...
Congrats on the Mana bar!
I liked how he bashed up the ditzy ***** in the end credits, don't blame him shes as annoying as hell
I liked how he bashed up the ditzy ***** in the end credits, don't blame him shes as annoying as hell