Zero Punctuation: FTL: Faster Than Light - Exploding Spaceships

[Bindal]

try it now that the advanced edition is released, im sure itll change your opinion, for starters, unlocking ships is now way way easier

he claims he never unlocked anything AND that he finished the game.
Those are two contradicting statements as you unlock two ships for finishing the game (Engi for reaching Sector 5, Federation for finishing) so he obviously never played beyond the first four sectors.

 

[Ed130 The Vanguard]

And I just checked my Steam. I've played FTL for 17 hours. And I've beat the game once and I've never unlocked something. Ever.
What a waste of my time.

Wait what?

Just getting halfway to the last sector will unlock a ship and winning will unlock another, if you were complaining about the crystal cruiser then you might have a point. [small]Seriously, screw that ship.[/small]

Its a game. Its supposed to be fun.
FTL is not fun.

Then I'm guessing by your logic the Dark Souls series isn't classified as 'games' either?

The definition of 'fun' can be very subjective, some people like a challenge or a well told tale/world and obviously you're not one of them.

 

[jdarksun]

Already love FTL, but just wanted to say that your review was extra amusing today. Nicely done!

 

[axlryder]

Fun game, but just remember that FTL doesn't stand for Faster than Light.

It means For The Loss, you will die, a lot.

I kinda prefer Fuck The Lannisters.

 

[red255]

Yeah, I'm not sure if Mr crosshairs needs recommendations on things to do for reviews when schedule is slow.

Steam had a recent sale on shadowrun returns this weekend brought that to mind, but any kickstarted game that was in people's minds when it was kickstarted should get a slot IMO.

 

[karamazovnew]

Awesome episode. Great job, Yahtzee!

 

[IrisNetwork]

What dry spell? Do Amazing Spider Man 2!!

 

[Archaenus]

If you want your Star Trek Captain fantasy then get Artemis, although you will need four other friends to play it with

 

[Waddles]

So uh... did you like it?

 

[ToastyMozart]

I wonder why he didn't mention the stuff they added in the AE update.

I remember taking out the flagship once because I was lucky enough to have maxed my shields and acquire a full battery of four Burst Laser Mk. II's. It was mostly a matter of waiting for them all to charge, then blitzing the weapon rooms.

Oh, and if you have a cloning bay instead of a med bay you can just sacrifice your boarding parties like an unlimited supply of redshirts to throw at your enemy. Choke their engines with their corpses!

There are people who play like Picard, while others act like Khan. And then some play like Zapp.

 

[Sansha]

The biggest problem I had with FTL is the first time I played through it... I won. I slammed it out in about 45 minutes, and... then what? Because the whole point of FTL, I was told, is to keep doing better and better each time until you finally succeed.

But I was hugely disappointed in my sudden victory. What then? Take steps backward by playing and losing?