Zero Punctuation: Guitar Hero III

Lord Leinad

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Dec 17, 2007
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I wasn't planning on buying Guitar Hero III in the first place, mostly because I already have Guitar Hero II for the Xbox 360, as well as the original Guitar Hero on my PS2, and partly because their are so many other good games out their for my consoles which don't require you to chuck out 100-ish dollers to make you play them.
 

Evilducks

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Sep 20, 2007
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lordshitzu said:
Evilducks said:
You can stop begging for Blue Oyster Cult or other groups from that decade, unless you like covers (GH has had a BOC song or two already). Master tracks recorded in ways useful for the purpose of these games don't exist so they will all have to be re-recorded. The reason Rock Band only has contemporary songs is because they wanted all master tracks. GH still incorporates older music, but again they're covers, and people whine incessantly about it.
Interesting theory, given that Rock Band has a master track of Don't Fear the Reaper.
True, they have the master track for that song...

However if you look at the list of their available tracks:

http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/830/830709p1.html

You can see that the older the songs are there is a much higher chance of the song being a cover. Some studios didn't use good equipment back in the day, some studios have actually lost master tracks since then (I don't know how they managed this) etc. Basically both games have master tracks if they are available for the song, they only do covers now in desperation.
 

Evilducks

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Sep 20, 2007
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Lord Leinad said:
I wasn't planning on buying Guitar Hero III in the first place, mostly because I already have Guitar Hero II for the Xbox 360, as well as the original Guitar Hero on my PS2, and partly because their are so many other good games out their for my consoles which don't require you to chuck out 100-ish dollers to make you play them.
You can buy it without the guitar since you already have GH2 (and I assume a guitar for it).
 

ThePiglet

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Dec 18, 2007
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JoeCooL said:
No ... u're not...it's the most idiotic game ever... and "Who's Tom Morello ?" ...are u fuckin hamsters?!?!? http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/5937559/the_100_greatest_guitarists_of_all_time (check no.26)
Yahtzee U "twat" ,do u see Slash anywhere on that list?!? but I guess the boys and girls at the Rolling Stone are a bunch of gays
I'm sorry (well, not really), but that has got to be the worst such list ever produced. Kurt Cobain and Jack White among the top 20 _guitarists_ of all time?! Laughable. Whether you like those two or not, you can't argue that their biggest strength is as guitar players.
 

Smokescreen

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Dec 6, 2007
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TSED said:
Beanish said:
TSED said:
Gay jokes aren't all that funny. The odd one here or there's fine, but a whole review with the theme... it just isn't funny. Been done before and way better. Sorry.
Agreed. The jokes would seem to be making fun of homophobia. But like racism and sexism, ridiculing homophobes usually isn't funny (at least to me) because they're sad and pathetic.

I'm not saying that I want Yahtzee to start being Politcally Correct - anything but! That's one of the things that makes his stuff great, that he'll go places other people are afraid to, and be smart and funny about it. My point is just that teh gay jokes weren't funny to me.
Yes, you put it much more eloquently than I did.
I thought they were funny. You didn't. It's all good.

But I think that as soon as you use the phrase 'teh gay' to describe homosexuals or gay people-that's a fail.
So see-we both have circumstances where we don't see the humor in things.
/smiles
 

the_carrot

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Nov 8, 2007
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figure09 said:
rhizic said:
am i the only person on the planet that think GH sucks? i mean come on, its on a super powerful computer and you get what a couple of dozen songs? all but four suck, and its completely repetative game play. could they not just bump it up? anyways amazing review [but isnt it always] the blue screen bit at the end was well good.
no, your not. learn real fucking guitar, you priks.

having said that, i guessguitar hero is as good as it gets as far as party games go. as already said in review, at least it has some decent music in it.
I'm going to reiterate this for you. Guitar Hero is about 1/1000 as complex as learning guitar. It's a game. If they want to learn guitar they'd have done that.
 

Spitz

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Oct 12, 2007
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JoeCooL said:
Brodel2 said:
@am i the only person on the planet that think GH sucks?
No ... u're not...it's the most idiotic game ever... and "Who's Tom Morello ?" ...are u fuckin hamsters?!?!? http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/5937559/the_100_greatest_guitarists_of_all_time (check no.26)
Yahtzee U "twat" ,do u see Slash anywhere on that list?!? but I guess the boys and girls at the Rolling Stone are a bunch of gays
The stupidest thing I saw was Slash not being included on this list ESPECIALLY when KIM THAYIL ex Soundgarden guitarist was really just a tool that Chris Cornell was using in his band and he's at the bottom of the list. What a joke.. so yes the guys and girls at Rolling Stone are a bunch of gays. I can't believe this list even exists and continues to exist after initial conception. Do you play guitar? Do you know Guns 'n Roses? Have you ever listened to Appetite for Destruction? Tom Morello doesn't even come close to what Slash has achieved as a guitarist or even the kind of clout he brings as a guitarist. Tom Morello is very cool, but I don't want to be a part of the world that ranks him above Slash... that's a joke... almost a travesty to see. You should be ashamed of that list
 

Corbineau

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Nov 20, 2007
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The Rogue Wolf said:
Jeigan said:
Corbineau said:
Jeigan said:
Sorry, Corbineau I don't really have the time to read through five pages of messages. And that wasn't meant to rude, it's just the truth. It's quite nice to know, though :D
It's all good. :D We should start a band.
Heh, what would we call ourselves? Shadows of a Gentleman Thief?
Actually, I think that would be an excellent name for a rock band. Then again, it's hard to do worse than "The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus". :p
'Yahtzee You Charismatic Stallion' might also be too loaded for a band name, but then again, maybe not.
 

Corbineau

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Nov 20, 2007
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soladrin said:
i still stay with my view on any guitar hero-like game... Its as appealing as a karaoke bar filled with drunken germans....
And I still stay with my previous response-- a karaoke bar full of drunken Germans can be a really bloody good time.
 

twotrees517

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Sep 29, 2007
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bride_of_lister said:
You keep telling yourself that Yahtzee... but you did make me stay up another hour because I knew that the new Zero Punctuation would be out. Feel free to gloat over your ability to keep a girl awake all night.
.... I think I love you.
 

Endedrural

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Dec 19, 2007
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Great review, kept me laughing the whole time. I don't own a guitar hero game, but I've played GH2 a good bit. I'm thinking of buying one for my 360, and because of this review, I might just save some money and get GH2 instead of GH3. And nice choice on Cliffs of Dover.
 

Endedrural

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Dec 19, 2007
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JoeCooL said:
Brodel2 said:
@am i the only person on the planet that think GH sucks?
No ... u're not...it's the most idiotic game ever... and "Who's Tom Morello ?" ...are u fuckin hamsters?!?!? http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/5937559/the_100_greatest_guitarists_of_all_time (check no.26)
Yahtzee U "twat" ,do u see Slash anywhere on that list?!? but I guess the boys and girls at the Rolling Stone are a bunch of gays
Referencing that list is just fucking moronic. That's gotta be the worst list of anything musical ever compiled. First off, Slash, Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, Eric Johnson, and Peter Frampton weren't even on the list. Eddie Van Halen was number 70. S-E-V-E-N-T-Y. Also, Mark Knopfler and Brian May deserve higher spots. And Kurt Cobain and Jack White didn't deserve to be as high as they were. I could keep on going, but I'll just stop here. That list is a godawful piece of shit.

Anyway, as for Todd Morello, yea, he's a good guitarist, but couldn't they get anyone better? I think both Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave (he was guitarist for that group,too) are good bands, but what the hell? I mean, compared to Slash, he's just not a legend of rock.
 

Dreadp00l

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Dec 19, 2007
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Fuck! I never thought Yahtzee would spout a review that I could find fault with, but QUIT CRYING ABOUT THE FUCKING DIFFICULTY for fucks sake. It's only 5 buttons, and yes, its a nerfed down 'fisher-price' guitar that makes me feel like i need to start overcompensating... but my point is, I play real guitar, as well as hero guitar, and it comes with the equivalent of 144 buttons. Nailing a song for real is much more rewarding, and earns you FAR more respect with your friends, and more importantly, it attracts MUCH MUCH more pussy. Another thing... Tom Morello truly is a legend of rock. I've seen him use a guitar in ways that only Jimi Hendrix could imagine. Finally, if you want more songs, heres how to get them on PC. Go out and get Guitar Hero for PC, or get an adapter to turn an XBOX Mk1 cord into USB, then go download FretsOnFire from Sourceforge.net (its a home dev'd Guitar Hero for PC, and fully moddable), then go to www.fretsonfire.net. There you will find links and instructions on how to get THOUSANDS of songs to tear up on your PC with your GH controller. They even have global high scoring for the truly competitive.
 

Smokescreen

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Dec 6, 2007
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Dreadp00l said:
Fuck! I never thought Yahtzee would spout a review that I could find fault with, but QUIT CRYING ABOUT THE FUCKING DIFFICULTY for fucks sake. It's only 5 buttons, and yes, its a nerfed down 'fisher-price' guitar that makes me feel like i need to start overcompensating... but my point is.....
See, we don't care that you can play real guitar.

It's a game. As such, GH should be evaluated on those merits, NOT on whether or not it accurately simulates, or is equivalently difficult to, playing an actual guitar.

And GH3 is harder, less rewarding, and not as well put together-especially on the later levels-as its predecessors. This is a legitimate critique, regardless of the amount of pussy you think you get.
 

Frederf

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Nov 5, 2007
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I think the complaint about the difficulty is not so much the straight difficulty, but how the game has left its original philosophy for stupider pastures. The original Guitar Hero had a philosophy of "wouldn't it be fun to have the player recreate famous pieces of music in a challenging way" while the latest Guitar Hero seemed as if each chart with written with the designer speaking aloud to himself: "Hmmm, I wonder how I can flummox the player and possibly cause him to splinter his own fingerbones in the excitement of attempting this."

There's parts in Guitar Hero III that the original guitarist just plain never played with his own hands. Quite often the GHIII parts were done half by machine-other-than-a-guitar or two human beings on guitars. Personally, I like 3-note chords since it seems to jive rather nicely with my cursory look at a "Learn to Play Guitar" book, but some chord transitions, note series seem to be selected not because they mimic the actual music but because it's hard to get your hand to do that. GH1 was a music game that happened to be hard, GH3 was a hard game that happened to contain music. Also, GH has a HO/PO flaw wherein the string stops vibrating if you miss a single note unlike the physical instrument. GHII hits on this flaw more than the other games in the series.

Slash is probably a better iconic figure as a "Legend", but slightly out of my generation. Tom Morello, respect the man, think he's an awesome player... but he's so down to earth and unassuming that it's weird to make him up to be some mexican wrestler. Slash is practically a cartoon character.

I do like the tutorials in Guitar Hero, they are always fun and entertaining, unlike the Rock Band's tutorials which are like getting harpsichord lessons from your friend's not-hot mom.

The real vs guitar hero guitar thing... I dunno, I've never seen a GH player that had delusions of grandeur that they were somehow equal or better than someone that plays a real guitar. Ever. The "real guitar defenders" seems excessively defensive about some threat that doesn't actually exist. I fly real planes and if I see someone playing a flight sim, I don't run over and kick their sand castle. I enjoy that they have expressed some appreciation for the activity. Lastly, most of the time it's not worth the time and effort to debate with such people as usually (and our last zealot was a fine example) they have such little spelling and grammatical ability as it's rather obvious which end of the "learned" stick they hold onto.
 
Nov 28, 2007
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I enjoy Guitar Hero, and I am pretty good at it, but I agree about the difficulty curve and WHY IS THERE NO CLIVE WINSTON OR PANDORA?! On a side note, my Rock Band character is going to be named Gareth Gobblecoque.