Zero Punctuation: iPhone Games

[Gigano]

...
I have an Android phone myself. Vastly prefer it. It's snowing on Mars, by the way; very pretty.

Angry Birds is available on Android as well (it's on the Market); quite a lot of these games are also available on Android, and where they aren't, clones of them are: the "mixing elements" game on Android is called Alchemy (and is OK, for what it is).

Replica Island is a pretty good platformer on the Android platform, by the way, give it a look.

But yes, I definitely want an FF6-style or Pokémon-style RPG or two; it's definitely possible on the platforms, which have more power than a PlayStation 1 and you can do plenty of 3D on them too if you're clever. Are there any?

Thank you for the heads-up, I might have to check out what all the fuss is about then.

I'm afraid I for one wouldn't know anything about whether any JRPG's are on Android Market, but they'll probably come around soon if there aren't.

 

[kuolonen]

Breathing is for pussies! I do not require oxygen!

On a side note; it would be awesome if yahtzee started to explore other genres again... like maybe starcraft 2 review? *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*

 

[Rogue 9]

Well I'm an iphone-less martian vacuum breather, but I played Doodle God on Kongregate and I have to say, Yahtzee's description of the game was 100% identical to my experience. I would've stopped playing after about 3 minutes if there hadn't been gamer score achievement points a badge for completing the game.

 

[Rickyvantof]

What now, everyone owns an iPhone?
I thought in total Blackberry is selling more phones than Apple.
Also all of my friends have Androids.
I have a DS and a cheap phone.

 

[Dooly95]

While I have not developed a method of breathing on Mars just yet, I can tell you that with the price of an iPhone (and all its connection fees) I could get myself a regular cheap phone on prepay, a DS and a couple of games (or, one of those card things).

Because, hey, as much as I like Apple products (I don't), I don't poop out money every five seconds.

 

[ZeppMan217]

Innovative games on mobile platform? *spherical sphere full of vacuum here*
...Anyway, search better if you want to find better games. A small hint: he's Super and MEATy.

 

[Darmort]

Mars actually has a rather pleasant atmosphere. It's lovely and scenic, there's a butchers down the road and there's none of this iPhone shit for me to go into a homicidal rage about.

As it stands, that was quite surprising to be honest. I always found games on iPhones, or any kind of phone, to be frustrating and difficult to handle because at the end of the day I keep thinking of it as a PHONE, not a GameBoy...

 

[the Dept of Science]

Cat + Internet = Internet surely?

 

[emeraldrafael]

Snip

In truth we are, but i just dont think you can judge any handheld that has had a console tie in, because even at its worst, it was till on a console. And I just dont think that any solely handheld series has done that thats in the US. Consoles give you more, because they can do more, so its a deeper and involving story over all.

 

[theprokrastinator]

i breath on mars using the money i didnt spend on an iphone to buy a space suit

That must be one awesome space suit, with a built in swimming pool and mini bar :O

 

[Mydnyght]

Sonic Colors cost the Escapist $80?! HIGHWAY ROBBERY!!!

Man, I gotta get an iPhone one of these days. Apparently I'm sick of breathing Martian air.

And what the hell fell onto the imp at the end of the credits??

(And remember, people, keep your iPhone away from LRR's Paul Saunders -- he might have the desire to install Linux on it. ^_^)

 

[Captain Shambert]

Angry Birds, to me, is a less-fun, fancier-looking rip-off of Crush the Castle:
http://www.kongregate.com/games/ArmorGames/crush-the-castle
to which there is also a sequel. The only real difference is the mechanism with which you release your projectile.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

Last time I checked Cat + Internet = A blow to 'comedy' second only to the death of Bill Hicks.

As for breathing on Mars? There's an App for that...

 

[Christer]

The iphone isn't as big as everyone thinks guys...

http://mashable.com/2010/05/07/mobile-market-share-may/

 

[Ryujisama]

Breathing on Mars isn't as difficult as you might think, Yahtzee...

 

[tyriless]

You managed to find a venue that answered your criticism for lack of innovation and you made the funniest ZP video in quite a while. Bravo! It actually makes me wish I had an Iphone/Itouch/Ipad or something. And to answer how do I breathe on Mars: I am anaerobic organism. Think of me as a hyper-sentient Escherichia Coli.

 

[Meggiepants]

Not that he probably cares, but Android OS phones have been outselling iType phones for a while now. But that's okay, he lives in Australia, I'm sure they are a little behind on the times. I mean, they just got fire last year right?

In any case, that would explain all the comments for how people are breathing on Mars here.

Personally, I don't really care for gaming on any of these devices. I have both a Droid and an iPod touch. I also hate using these things as phones. They are pretty good portable web devices, which is why I have the Droid, but that's the main reason.

If I really want to game, I ain't picking up my phone or my music device. I'm picking up one of my gaming devices, you know, the ones devoted to gaming. And yes, a lot of the games are derivative, but at least they are fun.

Innovation doesn't equal fun. I could strap rocks to my feet the next time I played basketball, and that would be an innovation, but it would suck.

Apps are the gaming equivalent of appetizers. It's what you eat before you eat to make you more hungry.

 

[deora2dude]

Great review, but it raises the question:
Will we see a zero punctuation christman special? Like Blackadder's, but more synicle.

i love you forever.

the invader zim and blackadder christmas specials are by far the best ever

 

[mugetsu37]

I brought an oxygen tank, yahtzee. Duh.

I brought a Palm Pre Plus and built my own oxygen, yahtzee. Duh.

Then I realized half these games were released on Kongregate half a year ago and just wasted time there.

 

[starwarsgeek]

He complains about motion controls when reviewing iphone games? Getting a little sad, Yahtzee.