Zero Punctuation: iPhone Games

[Captain Shambert]

Angry Birds, to me, is a less-fun, fancier-looking rip-off of Crush the Castle:
http://www.kongregate.com/games/ArmorGames/crush-the-castle
to which there is also a sequel. The only real difference is the mechanism with which you release your projectile.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

Last time I checked Cat + Internet = A blow to 'comedy' second only to the death of Bill Hicks.

As for breathing on Mars? There's an App for that...

 

[Christer]

The iphone isn't as big as everyone thinks guys...

http://mashable.com/2010/05/07/mobile-market-share-may/

 

[Ryujisama]

Breathing on Mars isn't as difficult as you might think, Yahtzee...

 

[tyriless]

You managed to find a venue that answered your criticism for lack of innovation and you made the funniest ZP video in quite a while. Bravo! It actually makes me wish I had an Iphone/Itouch/Ipad or something. And to answer how do I breathe on Mars: I am anaerobic organism. Think of me as a hyper-sentient Escherichia Coli.

 

[Meggiepants]

Not that he probably cares, but Android OS phones have been outselling iType phones for a while now. But that's okay, he lives in Australia, I'm sure they are a little behind on the times. I mean, they just got fire last year right?

In any case, that would explain all the comments for how people are breathing on Mars here.

Personally, I don't really care for gaming on any of these devices. I have both a Droid and an iPod touch. I also hate using these things as phones. They are pretty good portable web devices, which is why I have the Droid, but that's the main reason.

If I really want to game, I ain't picking up my phone or my music device. I'm picking up one of my gaming devices, you know, the ones devoted to gaming. And yes, a lot of the games are derivative, but at least they are fun.

Innovation doesn't equal fun. I could strap rocks to my feet the next time I played basketball, and that would be an innovation, but it would suck.

Apps are the gaming equivalent of appetizers. It's what you eat before you eat to make you more hungry.

 

[deora2dude]

Great review, but it raises the question:
Will we see a zero punctuation christman special? Like Blackadder's, but more synicle.

i love you forever.

the invader zim and blackadder christmas specials are by far the best ever

 

[mugetsu37]

I brought an oxygen tank, yahtzee. Duh.

I brought a Palm Pre Plus and built my own oxygen, yahtzee. Duh.

Then I realized half these games were released on Kongregate half a year ago and just wasted time there.

 

[starwarsgeek]

He complains about motion controls when reviewing iphone games? Getting a little sad, Yahtzee.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Sip

Mostly its potential.

 

[team star pug]

Great review, but it raises the question:
Will we see a zero punctuation christman special? Like Blackadder's, but more synicle.

i love you forever.

the invader zim and blackadder christmas specials are by far the best ever

I haven't seen invader zim but I've went out of my way to watch the blackadder christmas special a few times. Thanks, i'll check it out.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Sip

Mostly its potential.

Are you no longer interested in the discussion or do you just have nothing to say?

Partly I've completely forgotten the discussion. But also partly I lost interest. I guess its just person opinion, but i just dont see handhelds as deep, since they are pick up, put down games.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Snip

The right to be able to? But relaly, think about it. Games lose something when they go to handhelds. you cant say you're a serious game when you're built for a system designed to be a pick up play for five minutes, then put back down and walk away.

 

[Obrien Xp]

I breathe on mars using my non-existent cell phone as an air compressor.

 

[chickenlord]

the trick is...when breath on mars...always remember your towel... you see, wrap the towel around your mouth and nose, put a small potted plant in it along with your face and take 1/50th of a breath every 30 seconds...

 

[emeraldrafael]

Snip

The right to be able to? But relaly, think about it. Games lose something when they go to handhelds. you cant say you're a serious game when you're built for a system designed to be a pick up play for five minutes, then put back down and walk away.

We've gone completly in a circle back to "handheld games aren't serious games" without addressing any of my attempts to demonstrate the contrary. You yourself say you've forgotten what we're talking about. You're like a brick wall.

And you tell me to think.

I guess. I just dont see how something built to be played for shorts amount of time can be considered a 'serious game" it defeats the purpose of being serious. But, fine, just tell me this. Tell me one game on the handheld that wouldnt benefit from the port to the console if they could do it right. One game that wouldnt be deeper, more involving on a console with all the memory space, all the opportunity. Tell me one, and I'll admit i was wrong. because at the heart, thats my issue with Hand Helds. They're little things built to be time wasters. thats why flash games and most casual games are made for hand helds/quick little five minute plays on your computer.