Zero Punctuation: Kid Icarus: Uprising

[Guilherme Zoldan]

Yahtzee makes me want to buy this game just to understand this function of the celestial tittie bar.

Im kinda suprised nintendo let that through...I mean they are japanese but theyre usualy very kid-friendly even for western standards.

 

[Atmos Duality]

If you disagree and say anything about it you're a fanboy? What sort of logic is that?

It's Yahtzee's logic.
He's done the same thing before with his Smash Bros Mailbag video.

 

[Grey Day for Elcia]

The Nintendo fanboys en mass here, I see. You can always pick them out--they're the ones fighting tooth and nail to justify obviously broken mechanics, as if not doing so would cause their deity to commit suicide. Would admitting something is dumb be all that hard? Come now.

"Controls do suck, yeah. You can change them, but it's a shame you even have to. I still really enjoyed the game on a whole." - Not a fanboy/girl

"The controls are fine. You're just bad. Why not go into the menu and set them all yourself? Game is awesome." Fanboy.

 

[Grey Day for Elcia]

Also, of those that enjoyed the game or even played it in general, many would dislike Yahtzee's video for being structured to say only negative things about the game by ignoring or just barely mentioning its best points.

Let me remind you of something:

[HEADING=1]He's a critic; It's his job to be critical and to critique video games.[/HEADING]

No once has he ever said he is offering a balanced opinion. You know why? He's offering his opinion and his opinions is that the game is shit. This isn't a news report and he doesn't care that some people like it.

I happen to think eating poo is bad. Some people think it is the sexiest thing on Earth. If I were to make a video critique of eating poo, I would say bad things about it. Why? Because I don't fucking like it.

 

[Grey Day for Elcia]

It really blows my mind that game companies make such damn obvious mistakes with controls. It really does. How could anyone design such a set-up and then get through playtesting with it and nobody realizes its obvious problems?

I imagine it went something like this:

Head of Testing: "How did it go?"

Tester 1: "Well, the controls are horrible and playing the game anywhere without a flat surface and standing still was actually painful."

Tester 2: "I agree. My hand cramped up so bad I couldn't physically play it for more than about thirty minutes at a time."

Head of Testing: "You don't say..."

Tester 1: "Yeah. I think if we were to make-"

Head of Testing: "A large stand that sits on a table, freeing up both hands to use the controls! Brilliant idea!" *runs out of room*

Tester 1: "... some minor changes to the controls..."

Tester 2: "I hate this place."

 

[Grey Day for Elcia]

Surprised he didn't complain about the alien invasion. Seriously, who nitpicks deviations from Greek mythology when a game decides to have an alien invasion in the middle of their interpretation of Greek mythology?

that part is historically accurate... or rather accurate according to the history channel.

I'm not saying aliens invaded ancient Greece, but...

 

[fenrirvii]

ok first of all, it's really hard to make the argument that the controls are so bad when we already SAW the same type of controls being used in Metroid Prime: Hunters and the Zelda games on the DS... It's the SAME HAND POSITION! Why KI:U is the first game to really get bashed for these controls makes no sense.
The controls are slightly different because it's a 3rd person shooter, so you swipe the touch screen to rotate the camera, but the swiping mechanics have the best customization options in the game..

Maybe the game is getting all the control heat by including the stand with the game? I see a lot of people saying "Nintendo is saying I HAVE to use the stand...", including Yahtzee... This is simply not true. The stand ONLY serves to help you see the 3D, if you wish, while playing. Personally, I played the game in 2D, and never used the stand, and I was fine with it. And I kind of appreciated the free stand that makes watching Netflix or drawing anything exponentially easier.


For all the people on the fence, the controls are fine. You get used to them in ~10 minutes and have a seriously enjoyable game

 

[SEXTON HALE]

You're back! This one was just like you're older ones.
Cruel and hilarious in equal amounts.
Very good review!

 

[Atmos Duality]

[HEADING=1]He's a critic; It's his job to be critical and to critique video games.[/HEADING]

*chuckles*
Which is why he immediately begins with an ad-hominem against the game's audience, and not just the game itself. "A shitty game for twats".

Let me break this shit down for you:

+Simply disagreeing with his opinion? "Not fanboyism."
It's perfectly rational to give reasons why as long as you aren't acting like a tool. (see next point)

+Getting pissed off just because someone doesn't like a game that you do?
Insecure and childish. "Fanboy."

+When the critic tells you that you're inferior/stupid/etc solely because you like something they don't?
That isn't a review, it's just trolling.

 

[Spenstar]

The Nintendo fanboys en mass here, I see. You can always pick them out--they're the ones fighting tooth and nail to justify obviously broken mechanics, as if not doing so would cause their deity to commit suicide. Would admitting something is dumb be all that hard? Come now.

"Controls do suck, yeah. You can change them, but it's a shame you even have to. I still really enjoyed the game on a whole." - Not a fanboy/girl

"The controls are fine. You're just bad. Why not go into the menu and set them all yourself? Game is awesome." Fanboy.

So saying the controls are fine makes you a fanboy?

 

[mike1921]

[HEADING=1]He's a critic; It's his job to be critical and to critique video games.[/HEADING]

*chuckles*
Which is why he immediately begins with an ad-hominem against the game's audience, and not just the game itself. "A shitty game for twats".

Let me break this shit down for you:

+Simply disagreeing with his opinion? "Not fanboyism."
It's perfectly rational to give reasons why as long as you aren't acting like a tool. (see next point)

+Getting pissed off just because someone doesn't like a game that you do?
Insecure and childish. "Fanboy."

+When the critic tells you that you're inferior/stupid/etc solely because you like something they don't?
That isn't a review, it's just trolling.

You're failing to acknowledge that it's also trying to be funny by being mean

 

[Enlong]

It really blows my mind that game companies make such damn obvious mistakes with controls. It really does. How could anyone design such a set-up and then get through playtesting with it and nobody realizes its obvious problems?

I imagine it went something like this:

Head of Testing: "How did it go?"

Tester 1: "Well, the controls are horrible and playing the game anywhere without a flat surface and standing still was actually painful."

Tester 2: "I agree. My hand cramped up so bad I couldn't physically play it for more than about thirty minutes at a time."

Head of Testing: "You don't say..."

Tester 1: "Yeah. I think if we were to make-"

Head of Testing: "A large stand that sits on a table, freeing up both hands to use the controls! Brilliant idea!" *runs out of room*

Tester 1: "... some minor changes to the controls..."

Tester 2: "I hate this place."

I'd like to know: how have your experiences with the controls been?

I really am fascinated, because I have no idea how someone could hold the system such that their hand actually cramps up. Especially after only thirty minutes.

 

[Atmos Duality]

You're failing to acknowledge that it's also trying to be funny by being mean

And you're failing to acknowledge how this is directly counter-productive to being a game critic; which was the original argument you're trying to defend.

I already know that Yahtzee isn't really a game critic in practice anymore; he's more like the host of a celebrity roast.

 

[fenrirvii]

I already know that Yahtzee isn't really a game critic in practice anymore; he's more like the host of a celebrity roast.

This. 1000x this.

 

[mike1921]

You're failing to acknowledge that it's also trying to be funny by being mean

And you're failing to acknowledge how this is directly counter-productive to being a game critic; which was the original argument you're trying to defend.

I already know that Yahtzee isn't really a game critic in practice anymore; he's more like the host of a celebrity roast.

Than how about you explain it because I see no reason they would be mutually exclusive

 

[Skweebl]

Normally I take Yahtzee reviews with a grain of salt (particularly Nintendo ones), but he makes a lot of valid points here in between the Nintendo-bashing. As an adult male with manly-sized hands, holding the console in the necessary position causes cramping after less than an hour. I'm also like Yahtzee in that I prefer sitting on the couch or bed while playing my handhelds, not that the stand makes a damn bit of a difference (still get cramped hands). People say you get used to it, but even after seven hours I still can't adjust.

The 3D effects are amazing, but there's usually so much going onscreen at once that it's hard to see and avoid attacks, making the levels harder than they ought to be, and Pit's tendency to dash around really does cause a lot of falling into chasms.

I can't play through more than one or two missions before putting the game down, and I haven't picked it back up since two days after I bought the damn thing. It's nice for burning a few minutes here and there, but it isn't the must-have game I was hoping for. So far the only 3DS games I've bought that I don't regret are Mario Kart and 3D Land. I have a lot of loyalty for Nintendo, but lately they really have been disappointing.

 

[Atmos Duality]

Than how about you explain it because I see no reason they would be mutually exclusive

If you're attempting to review something for the sake of being informative, why should anyone care what you say if what you say is not meant to be taken seriously?

It's like treating the Colbert Report as a source of credible information.

 

[Enlong]

Normally I take Yahtzee reviews with a grain of salt (particularly Nintendo ones), but he makes a lot of valid points here in between the Nintendo-bashing. As an adult male with manly-sized hands, holding the console in the necessary position causes cramping after less than an hour. I'm also like Yahtzee in that I prefer sitting on the couch or bed while playing my handhelds, not that the stand makes a damn bit of a difference (still get cramped hands). People say you get used to it, but even after seven hours I still can't adjust.

The 3D effects are amazing, but there's usually so much going onscreen at once that it's hard to see and avoid attacks, making the levels harder than they ought to be, and Pit's tendency to dash around really does cause a lot of falling into chasms.

I can't play through more than one or two missions before putting the game down, and I haven't picked it back up since two days after I bought the damn thing. It's nice for burning a few minutes here and there, but it isn't the must-have game I was hoping for. So far the only 3DS games I've bought that I don't regret are Mario Kart and 3D Land. I have a lot of loyalty for Nintendo, but lately they really have been disappointing.

Here's [http://i.imgur.com/VQ3GM.jpg] a little guide that helped me, maybe it will help you. My apologies for the language/attitude therein, I didn't write it.

 

[mike1921]

Than how about you explain it because I see no reason they would be mutually exclusive

If you're attempting to review something for the sake of being informative, why should anyone care what you say if what you say is not meant to be taken seriously?

It's like treating the Colbert Report as a source of credible information.

I like how it's black or white apparently. Either something is pure comedy, not meant to be taken seriously at all, or it's totally serious boring critique. Like seriously, you can't just use human judgement and tell that some lines are jokes and some aren't?

 

[Madmanonfire]

The Nintendo fanboys en mass here, I see. You can always pick them out--they're the ones fighting tooth and nail to justify obviously broken mechanics, as if not doing so would cause their deity to commit suicide. Would admitting something is dumb be all that hard? Come now.

"Controls do suck, yeah. You can change them, but it's a shame you even have to. I still really enjoyed the game on a whole." - Not a fanboy/girl

"The controls are fine. You're just bad. Why not go into the menu and set them all yourself? Game is awesome." Fanboy.

And the anti-fanboys en mass here as well. You can always pick them out--they're the ones fighting supporters with flawed reasoning, as if to make themselves look better than their peers. Would understanding the concept of an opinion and different experiences be all that hard? Come now.

Sometimes the problem lies in the controls and sometimes the problem lies in how one is handling the controls. Labeling one side as a fanboy doesn't make much sense.