Zero Punctuation: Kid Icarus: Uprising

VinLAURiA

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Ugh, this was his worst review in a long time. I know he's described himself as a "QA man" and that whatever he doesn't mention is alright, but he's also been quick to point out what a game does good if it is indeed good. This was nothing but mindless complaining and sheer misinformation the whole way through.

All I saw here was him bashing minor things, most of which were subjective complaints or could be fixed with a quick trip to the options menu, and not even touching the actual game itself. That's the second half of the review. His first half was the usual baseless bashing of Nintendo despite how much he's tries to claim that no, he totally doesn't hate them for no reason other than to pander to his poser-cynical fanbase.

If he indeed liked the game through all the stuff he didn't mention, he certainly didn't give off that impression considering he usually has even a little bit of praise for other games he likes. Plus that "s#$! game for t%&@s" remark isn't very reassuring either. If there's one Nintendo game I thought he'd like, it'd be this one, because it's a franchise they haven't touched in years, has plenty of humor and actually-decent voice acting and characterization (such that avoids the problems he said Other M had), merges story and gameplay together the way he likes, doesn't take itself overly seriously, has a genuinely great story with actual twists throughout, legitimately uses 3D as an essential part of the game instead of as a gimmick (you can't complain it looks cluttered when you deliberately refuse to turn 3D on despite any possible benefits), has customization out the yin-yang, and completely reinvents and advances its series...

But no, it's a Nintendo game so all of that is thrown right out the window and then all he does is parrot popular troll complaints the entire review once he finishes his anti-Nintendo bitching and then has the gall to call this game another rehash, but "a rehash with restraint" because it's been over TWO DECADES since the last one and that Nintendo only revived the franchise because they were scraping the bottom of the barrel and it wasn't because of - oh, I dunno - fan demand or the fact that it was a good fit for the system? I guarantee you that if this were released on any other platform he'd be making love to the goddamn case that it came in.

I accepted the Brawl, NSMBWii, Galaxy 2, Skyward Sword, Other M, 3D Land, Sonic Generations, and Conduit reviews because I can totally dig someone not liking the same things I do - I mean, for example, I completely understand his reasoning for saying Portal 2 was a shoddy game compared to the original even though I absolutely disagree. Hell, I sat through his pretentious Brawl reply-bashing video because he was funny and those replies were indeed pathetic. I even stomached that travesty of a Madworld review where he makes an absolute tool of himself spending the entire review bitching and moaning about nothing just because it was a Wii game and I don't even like Madworld! And let's not forget that I usually believe that Yahtzee is dead-on in what makes a game good and that I thought Poacher kicked ass.

But honestly, this review is what dropped my respect for Yahtzee a couple of notches because he wasn't clearly even trying to like the game and blatantly ignores all the things this game does that he said games should do just so that he can keep pushing some @#$!ing vendetta.

I'm calling you out, Benjamin. This was nothing but you pandering to your reputation and going against your own words in order to do it.

Anoni Mus said:
Metroid Prime M
It's called Metroid: Other M. It's a separate game from the Metroid Prime series.

Proverbial Jon said:
OT: I was going to base my purchase of this game on this review. Conclusion? Well I don't think I'll bother! ^_^
CM156 said:
Anyhows: If I do purchase a 3DS in the future, I doubt this will be one of the games I get
For the love of God, please don't base your purchase decisions on this review alone. This has got to be one of the most inaccurate reviews he's ever done.
 

Atmos Duality

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CM156 said:
It wasn't. I actually played it on a friend's 3DS

Annnnnd I didn't enjoy it. At all. So that's why.
Good.
That's the best sort of reasoning to make purchasing decisions on.

I'm all for more educated consumers.

At the same time, it's saddening that quite a few people (a couple of my friends included) actually treat Yahtzee's "reviews" as credible sources of information for, well, anything.
Especially the purposes of making buying decisions.

He's a talented wordsmith; but he hasn't done a legitimate "review" since 2010.
 

l3o2828

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Meh, This wasn't really funny, even when i'm a massive nintendo hater.
For one thing Kid icarus was trying to be something else and for a company like Nintendo that's...quite alright i guess...it's enough for me to get me interested.
Although pit's boyish thighs might have helped mellow me out.
 

Kirbys

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CXZ_inc0g said:
I still don't understand what people are going on about when they whine about the controls, though.
Just from my experience, I can stand up straight whilst walking and I can play the game easily. Left thumb on the circley-thingy, left index finger on the trigger, right hand holding the stylus.
How come this is so difficult for everyone?
Have you played any chapter on the most intense mode? It's like really spraining your hand.
 

skylog

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I generally play the game lying on my side, propped up on my elbow. So aside from my hand falling asleep, I've no real qualms with the controls. My hand falls asleep even when I lie on my back playing a normal game, so I'm pretty much used to it.

Regarding the dialogue, I like how it gives you all the story and characterization without interrupting the game. It's reminiscent of Sands of Time.
 

Enlong

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Kirbys said:
CXZ_inc0g said:
I still don't understand what people are going on about when they whine about the controls, though.
Just from my experience, I can stand up straight whilst walking and I can play the game easily. Left thumb on the circley-thingy, left index finger on the trigger, right hand holding the stylus.
How come this is so difficult for everyone?
Have you played any chapter on the most intense mode? It's like really spraining your hand.
I've completed about a dozen chapters on 9.0 with that sort of setup.

Granted, not while walking. Intensities that, er, intense require my full attention.
 

MegaManOfNumbers

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*looks around*

Dang; did everyone here just drop 20 IQ points when I was gone? Calm down guys. Yahtzee once said that if you like a game or is interested in one, then no amount of criticism should deter that fondness. Ergo he's saying to ALWAYS take his "reviews" with a boulder of salt!
 

bjj hero

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Lordofthesuplex said:
problem 2. Wow. Way to over-exaggerate the controls there. I rarely get cramps from the game.
That must be the worst defence of a game I've ever heard. I've never got cramps from playing a videogame, its not like running a triathlon. If a viddeogame gives you cramps then the designer hasn't tested the hardware or interface properly.

If the controls are shit it is a major blow for any game and enough for me not to play it.

The review was entertaining as ever.
 

FallenMessiah88

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Well to be fair, Kid Icarus isn't the only Nintendo franchise where the name that appears in the title isn't actually the name of the main character.

Case in point: The Legend Of Zelda.
 

Enlong

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bjj hero said:
Lordofthesuplex said:
problem 2. Wow. Way to over-exaggerate the controls there. I rarely get cramps from the game.
That must be the worst defence of a game I've ever heard. I've never got cramps from playing a videogame, its not like running a triathlon. If a viddeogame gives you cramps then the designer hasn't tested the hardware or interface properly.

If the controls are shit it is a major blow for any game and enough for me not to play it.

The review was entertaining as ever.
The default controls might be bad (I don't agree that they are, personally), but they're completely customizable, so if the default doesn't sit with you, you can change them to whatever does suit you, which, in my opinion, makes opinions about the controls less damning.
 

brazmanoqk

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A bleak expectations reference? Holy Twatting Shit. If I didn't respect you enough before I do now I know you listen to radio 4. Huh, that's the first sliver of interest I've had in this game, I want to hear his voice to see if it matches; I'm sure it'll pass.
 

bjj hero

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Enlong said:
The default controls might be bad (I don't agree that they are, personally), but they're completely customizable, so if the default doesn't sit with you, you can change them to whatever does suit you, which, in my opinion, makes opinions about the controls less damning.
There are a lot of people on here, even those who say they enjoy the game, who think the controls are bad. The stand thing seems to suggest they knew the controls would be awkward, otherwise they'd have saved their money and not included it.

Customisation is great and I'm all for it, but standard controls shouldnt seem awkward to a large percentage of your audience and they should definately not result in cramps or spasms.

Fans will buy your game at launch, some people will get the game as a gift with no input. Great.

Others will play their friends or the shop version and bad standard controls will cost sales for this group.
 

johnnnny guitar

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Yahtzee why do you try to reason with the nintendo fanboys they are always gonna hate you unless your kissing nintendo's ass and begging for more.
You should just start doing what they think you do which is hate every nintendo game because its on a product that has the word's nintendo on it.
 

crazyarms33

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Spenstar said:
Bleh. I guess it was funny, but I have not disagreed with you so much on a game review since Smash Bros Brawl. I'll start out with the good points. Your disclaimer about being unbiased was actually backed up with examples of what you like(d) about Nintendo. You liked the Gamecube and the DS? Cool, you don't like the direction Nintendo is going, that's all. So, Yahtzee, if you really liked the Gamecube and DS, you should have told us before this. Just sayin' With that in mind...

You're joking right? I mean...seriously? Go and watch almost ANY of his 3-DS/Wii game reviews. He basically calls them pieces of shit EVERY time. And is it REALLY that bad that he wants more out of his games than a cartoony adventure with standard controls that don't require them to be messed with? Out of the dozens of games I own, I changed the default controls on one of them. When they include a stand with the game to make it "user friendly" with the default controls, doesn't that scream that they knew the default controls were ass or at least less than optimal but didn't change them for some reason?
 

crazyarms33

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erttheking said:
It's less people think that you're biased against nintendo and more that they think that you're biased against the Wii because you never pass down an opportunity to rag on it and now that I think about it you've taken a lot of pot shots at the 3DS too. I know that you're not biased but really you can only come back to the same thing with the same complaints and so many times before people start to think that you have a bone to pick.
I get what you're saying, but I have a rebuttal anyway.

If the issues continue to exist and the company continues to make games that highlight the existing problems that he feels the systems have(3D with the DS, accurate motion tracking with the Wii) then its still a justifiable beef. Personally I have the same issues with both systems and I never tire of ripping on the systems. But you could be right I suppose, that could be a type of bias?
 

Powerman88

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Man I was having a bad day and then I come home to thinking "man I wonder what game Yahtzee reviewed today..... a Nintendo game!!! w00000000t!!!!"

Always fun to hear someone tell it like it is about Nintendo. I DID grow up with Nintendo and I remember when they were about innovation, not milking franchises. Last good game from Nintendo was Pikmin. /trolling
 

Spenstar

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crazyarms33 said:
Spenstar said:
Bleh. I guess it was funny, but I have not disagreed with you so much on a game review since Smash Bros Brawl. I'll start out with the good points. Your disclaimer about being unbiased was actually backed up with examples of what you like(d) about Nintendo. You liked the Gamecube and the DS? Cool, you don't like the direction Nintendo is going, that's all. So, Yahtzee, if you really liked the Gamecube and DS, you should have told us before this. Just sayin' With that in mind...

You're joking right? I mean...seriously? Go and watch almost ANY of his 3-DS/Wii game reviews. He basically calls them pieces of shit EVERY time. And is it REALLY that bad that he wants more out of his games than a cartoony adventure with standard controls that don't require them to be messed with? Out of the dozens of games I own, I changed the default controls on one of them. When they include a stand with the game to make it "user friendly" with the default controls, doesn't that scream that they knew the default controls were ass or at least less than optimal but didn't change them for some reason?
Well, he liked Mario Galaxy and the Mario RPGs, that counts for something, and in this review he said he really liked the Gamecube and the DS. And games come in all forms, cartoony adventure being one of them. I disagree with Yahtzee because I liked Uprising a lot. And if you read the rest of my post, you'd know that I mentioned the custom controls in a negative way because the stylus is the best way to aim and the face buttons and d-pad are crap. As for the stand, yes the idea of it is jarring but it's not as bad as everyone thinks it is. It's lightweight and I have held the stand with my hand and had the game on it, effectively making it portable.