Zero Punctuation: Left 4 Dead 2 & New Super Mario Bros Wii

[Gutterpunk]

The problem is that it's been seen already. Your post is suicidal.
As in, it kills it's own point by containing the words "second" and the number 2 in it.

Imagine Valve or someone working like this. Now imagine 20 Left 4 Dead titles that have minor improvements like L4D2. Maybe even less so.

How long could it go on before someone finally bitchslaps them? And someone should slap Nintendo, while I'm at it. Maybe even find a hobo who has the balls to be creative and insert a cheeseburger-spider into a game.

Imagine that Valve did 20 L4D2, but branched them as 10 3D versions and 10 2D versions, each with vastly different "core" mechanics.

Imagine that Valve was trying to sell their Dudes Against Zombies themed game in a world where everyone and their uncles has been making highly innovative Dudes Against Zombies games for the last 20 years. Should they change the Zombies to Soldiers to gain a market edge? Or should they just stick with what work, and what the MAJORITY of buyers will buy, if only because of nostalgia? (especially seeing all the games with Soldiers out there)

I mean, even if Nintendo was to come up with an amazing new Mario, full of new mechanics, PEOPLE WOULD STILL COMPLAIN. Did you see the internet? People are complaining that Assassin Creed 2 is the same as the first in this very thread! So they frustrate the same idiots who complain now AND the disappointed fans who wanted "nostalgia". Nintendo can't win, so why wouldn't they choose the path that makes at least one group happy?

When I listen to a music group, I expect their albums to all have a similar style. If they change that style, they can't expect me to stay a fan. If I become tired of that style, I don't complaint that they didn't evolve with my taste (and if I did, I'd be called arrogant), I just buy someone else's album. Why would anyone expect Nintendo need to change a serie when there is so much variety already out there is beyond me.

 

[darrinwright]

why does Yahtzee even bother reviewing Wii games anymore? I loved NSMBWii because I knew what I was getting: rehash, sure, but who didn't like Mario 3? Who wouldn't want MORE of that?

 

[Stabby Joe]

God dam it! I want Half Life 2: Episode 3... too many numbers in games these days.

And would people please stop going "Oh yeah, now that Yahtzee has mentioned it, Coach does remind of Uncle Phil" even though it was mentioned long ago in the previews by nearly all journalists.

 

[MrGamer]

Great Work Yahtzee! I agree with the Left 4 Dead 2 thing, but I couldn't give a toss about Mario so I mainly tuned it out.

 

[slipknot4]

I tried L4D2 at the mall just before i watched the video, and i loved it.

 

[Soraryuu]

Bowser vs tank. Winner: Bowser.
He'd just put him on fire and either beat the crap out of him or use the cheap tactic: burn/retreat/repeat.

 

[funguy2121]

The problem is that it's been seen already. Your post is suicidal.
As in, it kills it's own point by containing the words "second" and the number 2 in it.

Imagine Valve or someone working like this. Now imagine 20 Left 4 Dead titles that have minor improvements like L4D2. Maybe even less so.

How long could it go on before someone finally bitchslaps them? And someone should slap Nintendo, while I'm at it. Maybe even find a hobo who has the balls to be creative and insert a cheeseburger-spider into a game.

Imagine that Valve did 20 L4D2, but branched them as 10 3D versions and 10 2D versions, each with vastly different "core" mechanics.

Imagine that Valve was trying to sell their Dudes Against Zombies themed game in a world where everyone and their uncles has been making highly innovative Dudes Against Zombies games for the last 20 years. Should they change the Zombies to Soldiers to gain a market edge? Or should they just stick with what work, and what the MAJORITY of buyers will buy, if only because of nostalgia? (especially seeing all the games with Soldiers out there)

I mean, even if Nintendo was to come up with an amazing new Mario, full of new mechanics, PEOPLE WOULD STILL COMPLAIN. Did you see the internet? People are complaining that Assassin Creed 2 is the same as the first in this very thread! So they frustrate the same idiots who complain now AND the disappointed fans who wanted "nostalgia". Nintendo can't win, so why wouldn't they choose the path that makes at least one group happy?

When I listen to a music group, I expect their albums to all have a similar style. If they change that style, they can't expect me to stay a fan. If I become tired of that style, I don't complaint that they didn't evolve with my taste (and if I did, I'd be called arrogant), I just buy someone else's album. Why would anyone expect Nintendo need to change a serie when there is so much variety already out there is beyond me.

Gutter, Retard, I would greatly appreciate it if you 2 would kill each other.

 

[TheOnceandFutureKing]

Bowser wins and for me best part was the triple (not sure how you guys are with swearing so I'm gonna leave that out) hooker at the end.

 

[Gutterpunk]

Dear God, are you trolling me? Am I being punked? Surely you get this. Where's Ashton? Where is he?

In october 1988, Nintendo of America released a video game entitled Super Mario Brothers 2. The original sequel to Super Mario Brothers had been deemed too difficult for North American audiences, so a very different game, Doki Doki Panic! was transformed via character-swapping. The playable characters in the platformer were Mario, Luigi, Toad AND PRINCESS FRIKKIN TOADSTOOL, LATER RENAMED PRINCESS PEACH.

Are we clear now? Ha ha, Ashton, ya got me. How's Demi doing? Ok, I gotta go swallow a gun now.

Yes, and in Super Mario 2, the plot wasn't to save peach.

Also, as it has been pointed out, Miyamoto didn't want Peach as a playable character.

Changing the 4th character to Peach would require a plot overhaul (animations and al.)

So I ask again, which character should they have used? I am not attacking you, I am asking you which one would've fit the best in your opinion.

 

[funguy2121]

Instead of toads the playable characters should have been Gutterpunk and the Retardinator, so they both could be thrown off a cliff.



I am devious.

 

[Bogulmon]

.
can you play the sections independently of each other? do they use a lot of the same models and color pallet?
In Oblivion when i would go to another floor of a dungeon there was a loading screen, doesn't mean i was in a new dungeon, just a different part.

Exactly, you were in a different part, or should I say, a different map. A dungeon is a collection of smaller maps, you fool, just like a campaign.

 

[DeathWyrmNexus]

Ya know, I am a fan of this series but have only grinned for the last few. This being more a product of my life than his work. However, this one actually had me laughing because I felt my cause being championed. He did a very thorough review this go around and had a lot of points.

Awesome.

 

[z0nbie]

It's a shame that the AUS release can't show all the improvments they made to the game. The body damage and the mass of zombies flying through the air with an explosion leaving entrails strewn about in L4D2 is something that can't be just done through a patch or upgrade. There is so many amazing little details they have put into this one to create more tension and better immersion. If they're going to leave out all the hard work that programmers have done, they shouldn't charge the consumer as much to play or even release it there at all.

 

[Gutterpunk]

Instead of toads the playable characters should have been Gutterpunk and the Retardinator, so they both could be thrown off a cliff.



I am devious.

A second attack.

"Devious" isn't what I could call you.

 

[Keith K]

I. Agree.

 

[DTWolfwood]

most excellent ZP rant! and yay for $5 mic! XD

 

[Nojh]

Neither. Browser would run away too quickly from the Tank, probably via some flying contraption.

 

[funguy2121]

Instead of toads the playable characters should have been Gutterpunk and the Retardinator, so they both could be thrown off a cliff.



I am devious.

A second attack.

"Devious" isn't what I could call you.

"Attack?" That wasn't an attack, Mr. Sensitive. I had to deal with the indignation of 2 people on extreme sides of an argument at once. Surely you can forgive me! I was under a lot of pressure! I had you telling me that mediocrity was wonderful and that Nintendo's claim that they couldn't render a skirt in 3D was a perfectly reasonable response for 2 Toads, and Retardinator's selective memory was telling me that Nintendo was the only company that ever repeated itself.

But worry not, my head has not exploded. Oh and that wasn't a threat, either, it was a promise. If I ever do play New SMB with you, I WILL throw your ass off a cliff.

 

[jonnosferatu]

One of the best of the series.