Zero Punctuation: Left 4 Dead

[DtheHut]

Why does Yahtzee seem to always have Valve so close to his heart? His love affair with this company blinds him from reality. I'm able to predict how every review is going to go now:

*If it was made for the XBOX it blows, but the review is funny because Yahtzee did he job and poked pun at the flaws.

*If it was designed for the PC, all of it's shortcomings are made up for by some miraculous feature that makes the game original or worthy of some pedantic, esoteric pedestal or laurel.

*If Valve made it, it was a masterpiece in every way, and oh, throw in some token criticism just cause I'm Yahtzee.

I can think of about a hundred logical flaws in your line of thinking--like touting the Orange Box for Team Fortress and not even playing the multiplayer in Halo 3, or praising Halflife for it's "high standard of visual design and pacing" even though it looks like busy, last-gen crap (ironically filtered in the coffee filter lens you so adamantly crusade against in all of your other reviews). You should stick to critiquing and stop PC/Valve pandering that makes some of your reviews so droll and boring.

 

[DtheHut]

The only way this review could have been better is if it was for Gears of War 2. OK, I'll shut up about Gears 2 for a minute so that I can say I didn't like the Left 4 Dead demo much and I agree that anyone who replaces the word 'for' with '4' should be shot. (Yes I know it's because it's a 4-player game but that doesn't make it clever.)

You'd have a point, and i'd agree if you hadn't have mentioned Gears of Bore 2.

Yes, its unlikely that Yahtzee will be kind to Gears as it's a game for XBOX and a lot of people bought it. Then again, it's also a complete ripoff of the first two Halo games at the end so chances are he'll unwittingly shower it with praise like he does every time a game features something Bungie either invented or refined to perfection thus proving his hypocrisy time and time again.

 

[MercenaryCanary]

That is the second recorded time that someone was praying to the A.I. Director...maybe Valve should have A.I. director merchandise?

 

[nickster1]

i think he might do cod waw next because he really liked cod 4, oh and awesome review as always

 

[palmcrusher]

man i feel sorry for the 360 users

pc is getting the sdk soon so we will get more than 4 levels

 

[acebrainbuster]

lets see not to much plot, any minute you can get screwed, you actually need the teammates, there are always a fuck load of zombie, doesn't have chain saws... well maybe i don't know, co-op play, same difficulty through out, diffrent types of the fuck load of zombie, odd carracters, all in all it sounds like the game that one can enjoy even though it might not have chain saws and thats the SHIT! when it comes to classic zombie bashing but it seems like a bad ass zombie game.

 

[KenzS]

Well at least he liked the game. I have it, but haven't played it in weeks...

 

[hoskie]

Judging from the general lack of profanity and truly violent rage... I think Yahtzee might have actually liked this one a wee bit. *laughs*

 

[Spooky_101]

Sooo why were the first three people banned for what they said?
and thanks yahtz
Looking forward to next week's review
it's nice to see you actually like a game once in a while

 

[Ago Iterum]

yahtzee is a fucking retard

One day these people will learn, that freedom of speech isn't a two way street where Yahtzee is concerned. Now get in line DrMisanthrope!

The rest of us still love you Yahtzee... The rest of us still love you...

 

[nightmarejoe]

fantastic.. always love seeing what you have to say!
looks like it could be fun for a miniature romp...

 

[Ninjahedge]

I can think of about a hundred logical flaws in your line of thinking--like touting the Orange Box for Team Fortress and not even playing the multiplayer in Halo 3, or praising Halflife for it's "high standard of visual design and pacing" even though it looks like busy, last-gen crap (ironically filtered in the coffee filter lens you so adamantly crusade against in all of your other reviews). You should stick to critiquing and stop PC/Valve pandering that makes some of your reviews so droll and boring.

Having played both, he is not missing much with Halo 3 MP. It has its moments, but the biggest hiderance may be in its console interface (lack of a server list, etc). Unfortunately, that is also a weakness of L4D. I still fail to see why you cannot go to a server and join it, and not have to deal with the game "searcing for server" to host your game on. Lack of control!

Anyway, i agree with much of what he said. A lot of the things that I find lacking, and enjoyable about the game are just what he said. It FEELS like the new era of sprinting-bloodthirsty zombie fliks that have come out in the past few years.

Also, Co-op is where it is at. If you do not play tight with your teammates, it just is not fun! This game needs people that are at least WILLING to play with each other, and Steam really helps with that!

From all the people that played TF2 that were looking for something a bit different, this is it. The only real weakness being the lack of levels to play, which, as has been shown with the patches for TF2 - PC, may be amended in the near future with some new levels, critters, weapons, or modes.

I also find it hard to justify $50 for, but that is what you get with a credit card, a free demo and a few whiskeys!!!

 

[Decimator 3000]

What's with this guy he gives good games bad reviews and gives mediocre games good reviews. Good thing he's not a real critic.

 

[jords]

What's with this guy he gives good games bad reviews and gives mediocre games good reviews. Good thing he's not a real critic.

No, you just have terrible taste.

 

[deathtakeall]

As always he who will forever be named has done a kick ass job of stripping a game down to its bones and saying what all the people at the game mags wont, i love it so much coz and quote form the old lady for predator " I don't think he gives a shit." and that makes him the best.

 

[blinkgun96]

yes, we get it you love Valve, I recommened you either stop reviewing their games, or get acting lessons as all you insult/jokes always sound forced. Now if you excuses me i have to try to get the tide to turn back by saturday.



p.s. also I acknowledge that I need to learn how to punctuate properly, and also note that I am a fan of zero punctuation whatever it may seem

 

[blinkgun96]

Also; Call of Duty 4, and Half-Life 2 are as far from perfection as possible. of course why am I saying that to you its an opinion and you entitled to it, as am I.

 

[DtheHut]

I can think of about a hundred logical flaws in your line of thinking--like touting the Orange Box for Team Fortress and not even playing the multiplayer in Halo 3, or praising Halflife for it's "high standard of visual design and pacing" even though it looks like busy, last-gen crap (ironically filtered in the coffee filter lens you so adamantly crusade against in all of your other reviews). You should stick to critiquing and stop PC/Valve pandering that makes some of your reviews so droll and boring.

Having played both, he is not missing much with Halo 3 MP. It has its moments, but the biggest hiderance may be in its console interface (lack of a server list, etc). Unfortunately, that is also a weakness of L4D. I still fail to see why you cannot go to a server and join it, and not have to deal with the game "searcing for server" to host your game on. Lack of control!

Anyway, i agree with much of what he said. A lot of the things that I find lacking, and enjoyable about the game are just what he said. It FEELS like the new era of sprinting-bloodthirsty zombie fliks that have come out in the past few years.

Also, Co-op is where it is at. If you do not play tight with your teammates, it just is not fun! This game needs people that are at least WILLING to play with each other, and Steam really helps with that!

From all the people that played TF2 that were looking for something a bit different, this is it. The only real weakness being the lack of levels to play, which, as has been shown with the patches for TF2 - PC, may be amended in the near future with some new levels, critters, weapons, or modes.

I also find it hard to justify $50 for, but that is what you get with a credit card, a free demo and a few whiskeys!!!

I don't really disagree with his assessment. I just find it funny how valve has this untouchable nature about it when its games are no better or worse than the stuff he throws to the growling PC turdwolves. I thought that the additional H3 features or the ambiance of Bioshock made them both every bit as riveting as Halflife 2. All I'm suggesting is that if Ubisoft or Bungie made Left 4 Dead, he wouldn't have been half as kind to it. God forbid it was also an XBOX exclusive, than it would be the absolute biggest crock. Yahtzee to me is just a PC fanboy that's been elevated to PC fanboy deity status.

What's with this guy he gives good games bad reviews and gives mediocre games good reviews. Good thing he's not a real critic.

No, you just have terrible taste.

I agree with Decimator. Ben Croshaw is as much a game critic as John Stewart is a journalist. Their revenue is derived from entertainment, not expertise. I just hope the poor bastard realizes that his pandering has a negative impact on the former.

 

[DtheHut]

The only way this review could have been better is if it was for Gears of War 2. OK, I'll shut up about Gears 2 for a minute so that I can say I didn't like the Left 4 Dead demo much and I agree that anyone who replaces the word 'for' with '4' should be shot. (Yes I know it's because it's a 4-player game but that doesn't make it clever.)

You'd have a point, and i'd agree if you hadn't have mentioned Gears of Bore 2.

Yes, its unlikely that Yahtzee will be kind to Gears as it's a game for XBOX and a lot of people bought it. Then again, it's also a complete ripoff of the first two Halo games at the end so chances are he'll unwittingly shower it with praise like he does every time a game features something Bungie either invented or refined to perfection thus proving his hypocrisy time and time again.

You clearly have no idea what you're talking about.

And we've all had the Halo is mediocre debate before and this isn't the place for it. I don't remember Bungie inventing anything, and only FPS Perfection has been attained by Call of Duty 4, and Half Life 2.

COD 4, really? Wow. Halflife 2 was good; it certainly wasn't perfect. The Orange Box was a great value. Let's be fair to Bungie for a second my mousy friend. Bungie incorporated storytelling in games in a way that hasn't been achieved since the days of real-time adventure games (Movies with puzzles); and it did it in a way that--unlike real-time adventure games--didn't suck. The pacing has an engine of its own as well, giving the user the choice between very Halflife-esque cutscene interaction, tradition sit-back-and-watch interaction, and an altogether revolutionary interruption interaction. Aside from that, Bungie has built every game from the ground up; unlike Valve, who profits widely from the proliferation of their buggy engines.

In any case, I'm not trying to have the Halo isn't mediocre debate. All I'm saying is that if Activision made Left 4 Dead he would have said that it made him want to shoot infant children and it was a total waste of money.