Zero Punctuation: Mailbag Showdown

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Curbsidewhiskey

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May 12, 2008
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Way to go. It's always good to know that someone out there actually has the wit and the balls to shaft those annoying little fan boys all in 3 minutes with such power.
 

ElArabDeMagnifico

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Dec 20, 2007
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Ragdrazi said:
I'm confused as to how a review can be mediocre. In my mind all a review can do is exist or not exist.
that's some flawed logic - it's like saying something can't be good or bad, it can only 'exist'.
 

JCIcefox

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Mar 30, 2008
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Ahahah, awesome. A song from The Proclaimers that people don't know.

oh, and I elohel'd at the mailbag concept. Hope to see this again in the somewhat distant future. I'd hold off until you review Spore.

PS Kudos on the John DeFoe quadrilogy, just finished it recently, and must say you are one talented bastard, Yahtzee. /orf-torpic
 

Shia-Neko-Chan

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Apr 23, 2008
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Making the jokes in the first part a bit more blatant. Guess they were too subtle? Whatever, it was late.

oh, and

If you're going to reply to this post, at least read the whole post, so there won't be any misunderstanding.

In an earlier post, someone summarized the points Yahtzee made in his SSBB review.

Let's see which ones actually hold water.

1. This game suffers from a problem common to all fighters. It can quickly descend into a fight that is no more challenging than hitting buttons over and over with no attempt at strategy. It's not a programming fault, but it's still there.

I play the game all the time, if you're not using strategy or skill, you're dead.

In a skillful match with experienced players, that kind of thing is mandatory.

Kind of like checkers or chess. It can descend into mindless moving of pieces over and over with no attempt at strategy, if you're bad at it.

Holds no water.

2. The characters are too small and the camera zooms out too far.

Only if you have bad eyesight or a bad TV.

If one of these are true, then it holds water.


joke. Different people have different preferences, obviously. :p

GET SOME FREAKING GLASSES, YAHTZEE! >:O


Until one of these are proven, I'll say it holds no water.

I play with my friends all the time, one of them has terrible eyesight. He has never complained about this. Hm. :/


Still a joke. Who am I to say someone has bad eyesight, over the internet no less?

3. The particle effects are distracting and obscure the action.

I've never heard anyone say that before. Does Yahtzee have bad eyesight?

HAW HAW HAW, YAHTZEE SCREW U AND UR BAD EYESIGHT! BECAUSE I CAN TELL FROM HERE, RIGHT? WITHOUT KNOWING HIM IN PERSON? HAW HAW HAW!

If Yahtzee has bad eyesight, then this holds water.

Until this is proven, I'll say it holds no water.
Again my friend with bad eyesight has never mentioned this.


donmai, joke.

4. For a first time play, it is disappointing to have to unlock characters that have been hyped by the company for the new game.

THAT was bad, yes. Holds water.

5. Some of the characters aren't that well known outside of Japan. Since this is a world-wide release, it should feature the more mainstream characters so that people can relate to the game better.

... no. How is that even a complaint? I could maybe agree with him if the game really was all about the characters, but the fact is, the game would still be fun with or without Snake.

Definite no.

6. The single player is good and a lot of hard work was put into it, but they make you go through it twice which becomes boring and repetitive to the point that you feel like you're stuck in "Groundhog Day."

I never even completed single player adventure. This is a legitimate complaint. yes.

7. This game was disappointing because there is nothing new and interesting about it. It's the same old game repackaged and resold. Nintendo needs to develop some new concepts.

New doesn't mean good. Sometimes a simple update is a good thing.

no.

So, 5 out of 7 complaints were there just because Yahtzee wanted to troll SSBB players.

HINK HINK! YAHTZEE'S BAD EYESIGHT MAKES FOR DEFINITE FAIL!
LET'S GO TO THE MALL, DOUG!


I'll say 3 out of 7 if his eyesight really is that bad.

real one! Again, how the crap am I supposed to tell if his eyesight is that bad?

:p In that case, Yahtzee should wear glasses while playing.

Here's the real part.

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V

He insulted a lot of SSBB fans angrily calling them things like "fanboys".

So yeah, I can see why SSBB fans are upset.

I always thought Yahtzee's reviews were jokes and not supposed to be taken as legitimate reviews, but this video makes it seem like otherwise.

In that case, then if Yahtzee didn't want the hate mail, then he should have picked more legitimate complaints about the game to bring up in his review. Things like:

1. It's too easy to fly away in this one.

2. Tripping is stupid.

3. The online sucks.

4. Most of the levels suck and hold annoying elements that take away from gameplay and use of skill.

5. The single player is very short.

6. Pit is a cheap character.

If he brought up actual design flaws like these, I probably would've agreed with him.

Note, just for the heck of it: I was commenting on how the flaws brought up in the video were more personal, making it hard to understand why he didn't like the game.

SSBB is a popular game because of the multiplayer experience, the fact that characters need mastering and use of strategy.

Also, yeah I think having Snake and Fox in it is pretty cool. I couldn't care less about the other characters.

Maybe a bit overrated, but a good game nonetheless. Any game where the gameplay is so fine tuned that the characters take skill and mastery to use properly to a professional level is a fun game, but in SSBB's case, It's only that fun if you're playing on Final Destination against a skilled friend.

I never even play single Player.

So yeah, I can see why Yahtzee didn't like SSBB. He was probably playing on Ness and Luke's stage against his friends, and I'm pretty sure it's safe to assume Yahtzee and his friends don't know the first thing about playing SSBB skillfully. ***(Now that I think about it, a lot of the stages' cameras are kind of far away from the characters. On Ness's level, it's hard to tell what I'm doing.)*** On Single Player, I'm not a fan of SubSpace Emissionary. It just wasn't that great, especially the great maze. I bored myself to death on that part. Yahtzee himself went through story mode twice! I probably wouldn't like SSBB as much if I went through all of that.

That's all I have to say about it.

Yahtzee's at fault for using complaints that a lot of us can't relate to, yet so are the Nintendo fans for not realizing SSBB's not perfect.
 

Senaro

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Jan 5, 2008
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I'm just finding it funny that people are freaking out about being called fanboys. You could say I'm a fanboy for Nintendo, but I'm also a fanboy for video games in general. I wonder why people are so upsoet about that word...
 

Fire Daemon

Quoth the Daemon
Dec 18, 2007
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Ragdrazi said:
ElArabDeMagnifico said:
Ragdrazi said:
I'm confused as to how a review can be mediocre. In my mind all a review can do is exist or not exist.
that's some flawed logic - it's like saying something can't be good or bad, it can only 'exist'.
Things can't inherently be good or bad. The can only exist. This is the way reality is. Someone can come along and say, this is bad, that is good. It doesn't actually make them good or bad. It just means some human has attached the word good or bad to a thing. In reality that attachment means precisely squat.
He is right you know, when a perception of something changes depending on the viewer than that object being percieved has no real identity.

If someone thinks this post makes sense while an other person may think that it makes no sense then it neither makes sense or does not make sense.
 

Fire Daemon

Quoth the Daemon
Dec 18, 2007
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Honestly though guys, the way you act in here is giving the rest of the Website a bad name. Just let it drop, ignore what he said about Nintendo, just relax, take some deep breaths and settle the fuck down.

The same can be said to you Yahtzee defenders as well because chances are if he gives Gears of War 2 or MGS4 a bad review you will take the place of the Nintendo fans.
 

Shia-Neko-Chan

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Apr 23, 2008
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Ragdrazi said:
Too long. Neko. Too much. All of it's been responded to. See my above response about the difference between giving an opinion and making a statement of fact.

I will say this though:

"Also, he insulted a lot of SSBB fans angrily calling them things like 'fanboys'.

So yeah, I can see why SSBB fans are upset."

See, the problem there is a lot of SSBB fans insulted him. You notice they also went after his friends a little bit as well. That's how a fanboy behaves.

So yeah, you can see why we have this from him.
It goes both ways, but I was talking about the actual SSBB review and not this angry fanmail video, because you know, Yahtzee threw the first few insults in his SSBB review.

Also, I don't see your post. I do see the whole good and bad not existing post. It doesn't make much sense, but that's another discussion for another time.
 

slimer

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Nov 17, 2007
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Hysterical.

A highlight of my week.

Thanks mate.

(If we all harrass him enough, we could make him do a review of Wii Fit. Make that pasty white pommy arse bounce around!)
 

thahat

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Apr 23, 2008
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tagMaverick said:
Yahtzee rips on games that I like too, but the fun in it is that all the flaws he points out are there. People play the games saying "well it isnt THAT bad" and "this flaw doesnt TOTALLY ruin the experiance" where as Yahtzee will straight off say what bothers him and have a good laugh about it. That's what makes a good critic, someone who will always strive for Perfection!
correction NOT all the flaws he stated are there:
you dont have to play single player to unlock all the chars, you can also just play a whole lot of multi, they unlock themselves for instance

oh, and the button mashing fact, i gues anyone has played fighter/beat em up games before, there is ALWAYS a char you can buttonmash on, sure smash wont be different, BUT, and yes the but counts, as long as people* know what they are doing, mashers will be beaten.
( i mean seriusly, you can flail all over the place all you want but if i have a raygun and your swinging your sword 50 meters away i cant be bothed to be hit, y'know? )

*people with a brain
 

thahat

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Apr 23, 2008
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slimer said:
Hysterical.

A highlight of my week.

Thanks mate.

(If we all harrass him enough, we could make him do a review of Wii Fit. Make that pasty white pommy arse bounce around!)
BEST SUGGESTION EVER.
that, and at least EVERYONE even the wii owners will lough at that one XD, sport + games just dont mix m'lord, unless its a sports game and you have a controller :D
 

agerdemon

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Feb 14, 2008
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The 1000 mark coming up soon, aren't we sad!! Nintendo are like religious extremists irrational idiots. We on the other hand are buddhists of the game world impartial and laid back (I think).
 

staffs

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May 12, 2008
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Shia-Neko-Chan said:
War & Peace
I'd normally respond to something like this point by point but you've only really made one, over and over again. Why do you feel the need to demand irrefutable proof of every little statement? This is a video game review, not a court of law. Not that your rebuttle is even any more evidence based than his original statements. You talk very loftily about the need for proof, and things having to holding water, but then you just state that a bunch of things are fact - with no supporting evidence at all.
 

Poptart Fairy

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Jan 31, 2008
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Am I the only one who finds it hilarious that the smacks against SSBB have been taken as some deadly insult, but the "white enough to afford all three" comment is free of negative response?

:<
 

Kidfender

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May 9, 2008
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I enjoy Smash Bros, but i'm not enough of a **** to take it personally, actually i find that every game in the series gets old fast and i soon find myself playing something better, like Guitar Hero or Bioshock.

Very well done, those twats needed something like this
 

Muadeeb

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Feb 14, 2008
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"...as well as some of the more credible ones." The key word here being "more" because they were barely credible. I can't believe people actually require a score at the end. I thought we were trying to abolish scoring all together? We should be, especially since GTA IV got perfect scores from most reviewers.

Brawl is still the only game that four of us can sit together and have a good time. Split screen isn't a good time and anyone who thinks thats entertainment should sit on a pike while having accupuncture needles pressed into their eyes by the woman from 'Audition.'

Discovering the fastest way to unlock all the characters is playing for twelve hours was a huge kick in the balls, afterwhich I turned into "That Guy" and then I was fucked. I tried to counter it by letting other people play without me for a while but then my bastard Wii stopped reading the disc and my GPU overheated. Can you believe it? A Nintendo product that breaks?

Anyway, another great video, blah blah and all that shite.
 

Dectilon

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Sep 20, 2007
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thahat said:
you dont have to play single player to unlock all the chars, you can also just play a whole lot of multi, they unlock themselves for instance

oh, and the button mashing fact, i gues anyone has played fighter/beat em up games before, there is ALWAYS a char you can buttonmash on, sure smash wont be different, BUT, and yes the but counts, as long as people* know what they are doing, mashers will be beaten.
( i mean seriusly, you can flail all over the place all you want but if i have a raygun and your swinging your sword 50 meters away i cant be bothed to be hit, y'know? )

*people with a brain
I think he rather meant that he dislikes having to unlock major features in party games like this one.

As for button mashing, you can't deny that if you compare what button mashing gets you in Brawl or Soul Calibur as compared to something like Guilty Gear the differences are quite striking.