Zero Punctuation: Mailbag Showdown

[BYeth]

BYeth: First of all, it not fanboyism to enjoy someone picking apart fanboys. Yes, but to do it in a "omg i told u brawl sux n now yahtzee sez so LOL justice is served" is quite like the fanboyism you so badly shun, isn't it? I enjoy that wither it's Yatzee or some random post I see. Most of the "random posts" here are like the example I stated. Secondly, I don't think anyone's called anyone a stupid person for liking Brawl.The first few pages. "anyone who likes SSBB is dumb" "dumb SSBB fanboys" "SSBB is such a dumb game nobody likes it except for those dumb Nintendo fans". It's scary, yes, and it's not even an exaggeration. But if you're going to like something while dismissing all its faults out of hand, you're a fanboy. And if you dismiss all the good points and magnify every flaw you could find and put down fans of a game you are a...? I understand you have a sense of nostalgia that's going to make you want to excuse those problems, but you're going to have to accept that not everyone's on board with you. For instance, if you're going to say I should buy a new TV to play this game, well... that's excusing a fault out of hand. I don't quite get you. Try explaining this to me again please. You're entitled to your opinion. But, you have to accept that everyone else is as well. I do. I didn't target my post at you, but most of the "against SSBB" people here. There are some sensible ones, but most of them are like the cited example.[/i] You don't think playing single player for half a day to unlock content is bad. Yatzee does. Ok. Accepted. You don't think including Japanese characters is bad. Yatzee does. Ok. Accepted, but really. Would you rather less characters that could help introduce you to a game or a character that could potentially find you your favourite game ever? e.g. Fire Emblem To defend anything by saying your opinion is correct simply because it is your opinion is not acceptable. I agree? To defend the game by saying that playing for half a day isn't bad, and Japanese characters are fine is not acceptable. To say "I personally don't have a problem with these things," is. I see you.

My answers in Italics.

 

[sanzar]

I really don't know why people take these reviews so seriously. The show is just another form of entertainment based around feedback to the games world

See, and this is the ultimate point of the review(?). Even if Yatzee is 100% wrong in every one of his opinions, why would anyone respond with anything but a shrug and an ignore.

Sorry to be pedantic, but how can an opinion on a game be "wrong"? In fact how does one have a "correct opinion"? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of it being an opinion? EG: In my opinion SSBB is a good game because I enjoyed the multiplayer and the mindless chaos. In Yahtzees opinion the game is a steaming pile of shit because he hated the multiplayer and the mindless chaos.
Which one of us is right (it's a trick question for those of you who are contemplating siding with either one of us)?

 

[YOUNGN20]

I feel all warm and fuzzy inside now. Thank you for this Yahtzee. Thanks to you I now have a new saying when I see whiners now:

GO TEAM RETARD!

That is offical my new saying and sig!

I swear, I had to replay that like 10 times because the way you said it was to funny. I also liked the spell check as you contiune to burn the whiners. Oh that was priceless!

Yahtzee, you are not a mear reviewer, and I and greatful for that.

Thank you!

 

[Garynn]

I find Yahtzee's reviews refreshingly brutal and honest, saying what many other reviewers might be thinking, but would be too scared to actually say.

There is one point, though, that seemed, to me, to be rather unnecessary. Judging from the comments, many other people agreed with Yahtzee, but since I only skimmed through the comments I don't know if anyone else pointed this fact out yet.

I'm talking about "That Guy" syndrome. It's when one person happens to be better at the particular game than the friends he's playing with, and ends up trashing and humiliating them and getting *****-slapped in return.

What's wrong about it? It's a perfectly valid situation, and ends up potentially ruining the game for everyone.

The problem is that many games I've seen have a counter: handicap settings.

Maybe there's a simple reason many gamers overlook it. Maybe there's a taboo on handicap, because if you insist on using the settings it's almost like admitting that you're mentally handicapped. It likens you or your friend to a drooling, retarded boy slouching in a wheelchair while his nurse quietly takes the controller out of his hands.

Of course, handicap settings can actually make the game fun again. My family and I have been using them for over a decade. It's practically a requirement when you have three brothers and a dad sitting down at a four-player game, especially when you need both hands to count the collective age difference between the brothers.

The Super Smash Bros. series goes one step further and has an automatic handicap setting. If you win round, your lose a handicap level. If you lose rounds, you gain handicap levels. That's exactly what we did manually with Goldeneye 64, and having the feature to do it automatically (and in Brawl's case, behind the scenes) was really nice.

At handicap's most extreme settings, you can set up a mentally retarded hamster versus a Jedi, and the hamster will have a good chance of winning. The advantage of handicap options are simply thus: All players can play to the best of their ability, and everyone gets their turn kicking ass and getting their ass kicked. Unless, of course, that smells too much like socialism to you.

If your "That Guy" is a real jerk-hole, too, he can feel smug and secure in the knowledge that you needed the odds stacked in your favour to win. You, on the other hand, still got the pleasure of properly dragging his ass all over the stage and delivering sweet vengeance.

I'm a weirdo in that I'll usually explore all the menu options of a game before actually playing the game proper, so I usually discover if there are handicaps or not. At the least, I've discovered that console games without that setting don't tend to be played in multiplayer all that often.

Next time you're playing with a group of friends, and you just want to sock "That Guy" in the eye, maybe you should see if there are handicap options in the game. Of course, if there aren't, go ahead and sock him one.

 

[p.bear]

haha
i laughed a lot

 

[rokudaime_uzumaki_naruto]

LOL!!! Screw all of the people who bashed you!!! If you like certain games or you don't like certain games, people shouldn't judge you for it! I've played Super Smash Bros Brawl and liked it simply because I like to make the characters go flying and I like things that go BOOM! If you don't like it, that's fine with me. Portal still rocks. XD

 

[Shia-Neko-Chan]

War & Peace

I'd normally respond to something like this point by point but you've only really made one, over and over again. Why do you feel the need to demand irrefutable proof of every little statement? This is a video game review, not a court of law. Not that your rebuttle is even any more evidence based than his original statements. You talk very loftily about the need for proof, and things having to holding water, but then you just state that a bunch of things are fact - with no supporting evidence at all.

hm?

Okay...

1. I'm pretty sure I haven't demanded proof of anything.

2. My post was not about War & Peace.

3. Nobody stated this is a court of law.

4. I myself was just trying to make sense of everything, because why not? I was bored and I'm pretty sure this board is for everyone. I'm not making you reply, so if you didn't want to, why did you?

 

[Anarchemitis]

I'm still curious why these threads exist, all it is is people saying "Kudos, Yahtzee, you made your weekly quota" and other people who are agreeing or disagreeing with the aforementioned.

 

[Conqueror Kenny]

I'm still curious why these threads exist, all it is is people saying "Kudos, Yahtzee, you made your weekly quota" and other people who are agreeing or disagreeing with the aforementioned.

I agree these threads should just be scraped altogether it attracts the undesirables

 

[tobyornottoby]

The problem is that many games I've seen have a counter: handicap settings.

Handicaps are awesome! They give real fun even with completely different play levels.
As the 'better' player I have a challenge again, in trying to get my handicap as high as possible and the other's as low and still win (and later on brag about that). As the 'new' player I'm having fun because we both have equal chance of winning.

I use custom handicaps in board games now too ^^

 

[HSIAMetalKing]

Wow, lots of comments. Yahtzee is truly a genius-- throwing a rock into the hornets' nest that is the collective of Nintendo fanboys is a great way to stimulate site traffic.

Whatever The Escapist is paying you, Yahtzee-- it's not enough. Keep being awesome!

 

[NezumiiroKitsune]

I dont think they're ARE that many Nintendo fanboys here HSIA, its just the few that are refuse to give up and are valiantly striving on for the sheer belligerant nature they uphold, to stay true to what they believe, that whining and bitching will change the very fabric of reality. The whole fanboy "race" are insufferable morons. However I enjoy coming back to this, for lack of a better term, argument. I always find something to make me laugh. I think if it had been a super hyped Xbox game and he'd trashed it, we'd have 10s of thousands of posts, alot of which paid spammers by microsoft. They have indeed done it before.

I however love my Ps3 I dont think Yahtzee will fall desprately in love with GTAIV. Its not his kind of game, however I guess he will enjoy it, but still rip on it and express its not a bad game and that he actually had some fun and that hes giving it a strenuous thumbs up, however A, B, C, D + some funnies Thats my total guess at how it'll roughly turn out. If he rips MGS4 to shreds it will indeed amuse me. I'm probably going to love that game, but I can only begin to imagine how amusing the review will be. cant wait

 

[m_jim]

I'm still curious why these threads exist, all it is is people saying "Kudos, Yahtzee, you made your weekly quota" and other people who are agreeing or disagreeing with the aforementioned.

I agree these threads should just be scraped altogether it attracts the undesirables

It would probably be good for the health of the site, but you've got to admit that there are at least a few people who have joined since/because of ZP and been quality posters. Perhaps if they were harsher with the banhammer for the new kids, it would have the same weed out effect.

 

[Evilducks]

I dont think they're ARE that many Nintendo fanboys here HSIA, its just the few that are refuse to give up and are valiantly striving on for the sheer belligerant nature they uphold, to stay true to what they believe, that whining and bitching will change the very fabric of reality. The whole fanboy "race" are insufferable morons. However I enjoy coming back to this, for lack of a better term, argument. I always find something to make me laugh. I think if it had been a super hyped Xbox game and he'd trashed it, we'd have 10s of thousands of posts, alot of which paid spammers by microsoft. They have indeed done it before.

I however love my Ps3 I dont think Yahtzee will fall desprately in love with GTAIV. Its not his kind of game, however I guess he will enjoy it, but still rip on it and express its not a bad game and that he actually had some fun and that hes giving it a strenuous thumbs up, however A, B, C, D + some funnies Thats my total guess at how it'll roughly turn out. If he rips MGS4 to shreds it will indeed amuse me. I'm probably going to love that game, but I can only begin to imagine how amusing the review will be. cant wait

I particularly enjoyed how you mocked fanboys in the first paragraph and then espoused the sony fanboy that you are in the 2nd, complete with premade excuses as to why Yahtzee doesn't like games you will no doubt love on your PS3.

 

[Kaos Incarnate]

I'm still curious why these threads exist, all it is is people saying "Kudos, Yahtzee, you made your weekly quota" and other people who are agreeing or disagreeing with the aforementioned.

I agree these threads should just be scraped altogether it attracts the undesirables

It would probably be good for the health of the site, but you've got to admit that there are at least a few people who have joined since/because of ZP and been quality posters. Perhaps if they were harsher with the banhammer for the new kids, it would have the same weed out effect.

That's the problem really, how strict do they need to be, it will change depending on how many sign up everyday.

 

[NezumiiroKitsune]

I dont think they're ARE that many Nintendo fanboys here HSIA, its just the few that are refuse to give up and are valiantly striving on for the sheer belligerant nature they uphold, to stay true to what they believe, that whining and bitching will change the very fabric of reality. The whole fanboy "race" are insufferable morons. However I enjoy coming back to this, for lack of a better term, argument. I always find something to make me laugh. I think if it had been a super hyped Xbox game and he'd trashed it, we'd have 10s of thousands of posts, alot of which paid spammers by microsoft. They have indeed done it before.

I however love my Ps3 I dont think Yahtzee will fall desprately in love with GTAIV. Its not his kind of game, however I guess he will enjoy it, but still rip on it and express its not a bad game and that he actually had some fun and that hes giving it a strenuous thumbs up, however A, B, C, D + some funnies Thats my total guess at how it'll roughly turn out. If he rips MGS4 to shreds it will indeed amuse me. I'm probably going to love that game, but I can only begin to imagine how amusing the review will be. cant wait

I particularly enjoyed how you mocked fanboys in the first paragraph and then espoused the sony fanboy that you are in the 2nd, complete with premade excuses as to why Yahtzee doesn't like games you will no doubt love on your PS3.

Wha? I'm not sure if I was just insulted or not. XD I really should sleep. I do love my PS3. Why shouldnt I? Its a really great console and I always enjoy my time on it. Doesnt mean other consoles are bad, I just like my PS3. I didnt get anything after that though, also I think you meant announced? Not espoused. Or exposed... Yeah probably exposed. Anyway which console do you like best then?

 

[Kaos Incarnate]

I think he was laughing at you because you were mocking fanboys and then showing how much of a Sony fanboy you are.

 

[NezumiiroKitsune]

I think he was laughing at you because you were mocking fanboys and then showing how much of a Sony fanboy you are.

Oh. You shouldnt judge people indefinatly on your first impression of them, its one of the most ignorant traits we as humans have, and should strive to rid ourselves of to make the internet and life in general a lot less hostile and accesible for people of all ideals and so an open exchange of ideas can be presented without the uneducated bile that precedes it.

Actually fuck you. I like PS3? Yes indeed that I do. Therin that makes me a fanboy? Oh well I was obviously under the impression people were still allowed to have opinions, how foolish of me, I'll just go spread propaganda and interconsole hate mongering lies shall I? No, I wont, because I'm not that pathetic. I like PS3. Guess what, I also enjoyed the 360, and I've had alot of fun playing the Wii. So therfore am I now either a liar or a paradox? No, I'm a gamer. I do love my PS3, its great. If that alone makes me fanboy then I guess the days of the real zealot have died and now anyone who likes there console is a hate mongering fanboy twat.

 

[144_v1legacy]

I think he was laughing at you because you were mocking fanboys and then showing how much of a Sony fanboy you are.

Oh. You shouldnt judge people indefinatly on your first impression of them, its one of the most ignorant traits we as humans have, and should strive to rid ourselves of to make the internet and life in general a lot less hostile and accesible for people of all ideals and so an open exchange of ideas can be presented without the uneducated bile that precedes it.

Actually fuck you. I like PS3? Yes indeed that I do. Therin that makes me a fanboy? Oh well I was obviously under the impression people were still allowed to have opinions, how foolish of me, I'll just go spread propaganda and interconsole hate mongering lies shall I? No, I wont, because I'm not that pathetic. I like PS3. Guess what, I also enjoyed the 360, and I've had alot of fun playing the Wii. So therfore am I now either a liar or a paradox? No, I'm a gamer. I do love my PS3, its great. If that alone makes me fanboy then I guess the days of the real zealot have died and now anyone who likes there console is a hate mongering fanboy twat.

LQTM. And first impressions works pretty well as far as judging people is concerned, in my opinion. But as far as the second part, nice explanation.

 

[staffs]

War & Peace

I'd normally respond to something like this point by point but you've only really made one, over and over again. Why do you feel the need to demand irrefutable proof of every little statement? This is a video game review, not a court of law. Not that your rebuttle is even any more evidence based than his original statements. You talk very loftily about the need for proof, and things having to holding water, but then you just state that a bunch of things are fact - with no supporting evidence at all.

hm?

Okay...

1. I'm pretty sure I haven't demanded proof of anything.

2. My post was not about War & Peace.

3. Nobody stated this is a court of law.

4. I myself was just trying to make sense of everything, because why not? I was bored and I'm pretty sure this board is for everyone. I'm not making you reply, so if you didn't want to, why did you?

Yippee it's point by point time.

1. You stated that things needed to be "proven" and talked about things holding or not holding water. Either you're asking for proof to validate his nitpicking or there'sa hole in your bucket dear Henry.

2. No but it was as long as War & Peace. I intially was going to go with TL;DR but I actually had read it and TL;DR gets you banned pretty much everywhere these days.

3. See my reply to point 1.

4. Point 4 is actually several points, but what the heck. Firstly what I'm getting at is the whole "I reject your reality, and substitute it with my own" thing you've got going on. He says "It's hard to see stuff" and you respond with "No, you can't see, also your TV is bad".