Zero Punctuation: Mailbag Showdown

[I Mav I]

*late post delete*

 

[sfried]

Ohhhhh damn poor stupid Nintendo-boys there are out there. I can smell their burnt brain cells from all the way over here. Pitiful humans! Even sending hate mail to poor Yahtzee.

Gladly Mr.Y showed them. It's tempting not to spew out anything bad about Nintendo even though you don't mean it to hear all the kids yap.

Good movie anyway!

Honestly, I don't think Nintendo fanboys are the only ones to get the hate.

I agree. I never saw the point of the console wars, and this generation is pretty balanced. I'd stick with my DS, thank you. Enjoy the bloom and brown.

 

[Kaos Incarnate]

To be honest, Yahtzee wouldn't have got half the complaints about his review of SSBB if he:

1) Didn't review it in the first place because he didn't want to.
2) Found some actual faults in the game instead of pathetically making some non-existant ones up.
3) Actually played the damn game for more than one drunken night.

I can name a few faults in SSBB, but unlike Yahtzee's complaints, mine are legitimate and actually exist, and I haven't even played the sodding game. So this latest Zero Punctuation was basically him trying to defend himself against dozens of people who were angry at him for giving SSBB not just a bad review, but a bad review highlighting non-existant faults, and personally, I don't blame those people one bit.

So, you've not played the game, yet know the faults Yahtzee came up with don't exist?

Yahtzee highlights what is essentially a massive FUCK YOU from brawl which is PLAY AS SONIC (after countless fucking HOURS playing, FFS I finished GTA4 before my friend unlocked brawl fully. (and by that I mean got all the characters)) when shit like that happens it's not fun (which brawl is supposed to be), as you're doing the same shit, fighting the same fucking people on the same fucking level over and fucking over until you get a message going "you've played long enough, have a character that 0.1% of westerners give half a fuck about, oh BTW sonics still a fuckload of hours away, enjoy".

Whats wrong with a proper unlock system? Beat the game with one character to unlock the next one, or combinations of characters?

To be honest, I actually like the way you unlock characters on Smash Bros. I personally like it better than the system you described.

 

[Undead Dragon King]

Yahtzee, you crusader against idiocy, you've sure struck those retard hate-mailers where it hurts! Well done! Your best one yet! Bravo!!!

I especially loved how you played that one fanboy with a computer-esque voice. Having just recently finished Portal, I still have the "GLaDOS Effect", of either being terrified of computer voices or finding them simply hilarious.

Can't wait until the GTA IV review, but this was amazing in its own right!

 

[kcarl2a]

I happen to love Super Smash Bros. Brawl and no before you immediately assume I'm going to ***** and moan that Yahtzee was mean to my game I'd just like to say I'm not going to do that. I think he's hilarious and he does make good points, good points I don't always listen to, but hey thats the magic of being able to make decisions for one's self. A really good point Yahtzee made was if you like something you shouldn't care if someone else doesn't like it. When I watched the brawl review I laughed for awhile, turned off my computer, and played some brawl. Never did the thought cross my mind that I wanted Yahtzee's head on a pike (hat included) because he's an entertainer and good one. Its his job to critize games and he does sparingly throw some praise out there too. As for calling the man a profesional troll... I always thought of him as more of a fast talking kobold... but thats just the my inner fantasy nerd showing through. While we're throwing names around I'll even direct one at myself, one could make the argument that I'm a nintendo fanboy. I own all the nintendo systems going back to the orginal NES that you had to blow hot air at to make it work half time. I even own a game cube, which admitedly is more of a useless box of wires and had I known that before hand maybe I'd have just saved my money for the Wii. However, before anyone thinks I'm on the nintendo fanboy side I have a confession to make. I also own two playstations *gasp* unthinkable right? The point I've been laboriously building up to is we're just playing games, there is no reason to go sending hate mail to a guy critizing them. If you do make that kind of practice a habit I'd like to sugest something to do instead. Go outside, breathe in the fresh air, leave behind your mechanical things, realize that all the games in the world are just things to entertain you, and then... FUCKING KILL YOURSELF! Every wednesday I look forward in my routine to listening to some british guy who lives in Australia cut up on some game. I laugh, have an enjoyable five mintues, and move the fuck on! BUT NO WE COULDN'T DO THAT THIS WEEK COULD WE!?

 

[I Mav I]

Do people think he will like GTA IV? Or will he manage to find yet more holes in something many claim to be a nigh on perfect experience?

I for one are getting a box of kleenex ready just in case he rips to shreds something i love so much! But hell...he'll do it brilliantly...

 

[renard]

Whats wrong with a proper unlock system? Beat the game with one character to unlock the next one, or combinations of characters?

Clear Classic Mode with 10 Characters to unlock sonic.
clear classic mode under 12 minutes to unlock captain falcon
fight 5 brawls to unlock ness
fight 15 brawls on shadow mosses to unlock snake
fight 22 brawls to unlock luigi
clear classic mode under normal difficulty with zelda or under hard difficulty with link to unlock ganondorf
etc, etc, etc...

I see some porper unlock system here, if you ask me...

 

[Firia]

Thank you Yahtzee, thank you.

"Need more time to play GTA4."
I accept this as very true, and am not disapointed to hear it.
I am surprised however that you gaved under troll pressure and addressed them. You did wonderful in cock slapping them, nevertheless.

 

[MiniMaharu]

I have to say that I don't like this review.
I thought, as a paid critic, you'd do your job and review games.
I was looking forward to another bashing of some new game that fanboys love.
I do, however, like the gaming system comparison.
Hopefully you'll review an actual game next time.

 

[Drake Flare]

Whoo insulting the tards! Go Yahtzee!

and yeah it's the new generation of gamers kinda do suck balls a little I mean there are people who played games all their life, then theres people who can't game for crap and think since they can beat the samey cartoony crap games Nintendo seems to spew out on a daily basis, they are far supirior to 'real' gamers (Feh Angery Nerd = me)and thus they spam you to death with the most enjoyable hate mail, whenever you say what most good gamers are thinking

Pardon my poor Grammer.

 

[Runz_w_scissorz]

Yahtzee is the funniest human being alive! This episode was hysterical. Thanks for a lol-filled lunchbreak.


And I totally agree about console system crusaders - they act like if the world doesnt unanimously agree that their purchase was indeed the correct one, blood will be shed. I started off as a PC gamer back when regular nintendo was being birthed, and even then thought console systems were lame. To this day, console games are still a black hole for your wallet which returns garbage gimmik cheapass quality games (sometimes with some flashy graphics, although not as flashy as something ull see on a decent pc).

 

[Kermi]

While I was disappointed with the SSBB review for my own reasons (not having played the game and with no intention to bother buying it anytime soon), the responses remarked on here were pretty validly in need of criticism and I get that this video was probably thrown together to buy time while Yahtzee finishes GTA4 so I wasn't as disappointed by it as I thought I would be.

For the record though, I still feel the SSBB review was still an unwarranted preemptive attack on people who like the game rather than a review of the shortcomings of the game in and of itself, so I need to clarify that this mailbag video certainly does nothing to change that impression even though the points raised were certainly in need of addressing.
Certainly accusing Yahtzee of sucking at the game and not liking it for that reason is a pretty lame retort to make, and raving that he missed the point of the game by failing to play a multiplayer with friends is outright false since as he reminds us here he did play the bloody game with friends and criticising certain issues in that regards was one of the few things he actually did do well in that video (the whole having to spend so much time unlocking content that you become 'that guy' for instance).

So not a particularly entertaining week in the Zero Punctuation chronicles, but as far as filler goes I think we can live with it. I'm sure we'll get a thorough assraping of GTA4 next week that will re-establish the balance and make this whole ugly affair blow over.

Unless of course Yahtzee actually likes the game enough to overlook the flaws.

...

Yeah, you're right, what was I thinking?

 

[I Mav I]

Of course he will, he'll find it's weaknesses and expose them for all there worth.

But then again as the review says he needs more time to play it...now surely if he hated it he wouldn't bother playing it properly like his Mass Effect review...could the fact that he's taking more time mean he actually likes it? *face shows fear*

 

[Kaos Incarnate]

Whoo insulting the tards! Go Yahtzee!

and yeah it's the new generation of gamers kinda do suck balls a little I mean there are people who played games all their life, then theres people who can't game for crap and think since they can beat the samey cartoony crap games Nintendo seems to spew out on a daily basis, they are far supirior to 'real' gamers (Feh Angery Nerd = me)and thus they spam you to death with the most enjoyable hate mail, whenever you say what most good gamers are thinking

Pardon my poor Grammer.

Technically the Smash Bros. series (which consists of three games so far) is quite young compared to the Zelda and Mario series and what ever series are on the other consoles. Then again you seem to think Nintendo is the only one sticking to something everyone loves.

 

[AlissaX70]

But then again as the review says he needs more time to play it...now surely if he hated it he wouldn't bother playing it properly like his Mass Effect review...could the fact that he's taking more time mean he actually likes it? *face shows fear*

... Somehow, I don't think so.

 

[renard]

Whoo insulting the tards! Go Yahtzee!

and yeah it's the new generation of gamers kinda do suck balls a little I mean there are people who played games all their life, then theres people who can't game for crap and think since they can beat the samey cartoony crap games Nintendo seems to spew out on a daily basis, they are far supirior to 'real' gamers (Feh Angery Nerd = me)and thus they spam you to death with the most enjoyable hate mail, whenever you say what most good gamers are thinking

Pardon my poor Grammer.

Here, have your ration of gunmetal grey and dogshit brown desaturated mature rated game.

 

[EnoRed]

I think more people should consider listening to what Yahtzee said about not getting upset over the fact a reviewer doesn't like a game that you do, as you shouldn't let their opinions dictate your own. That includes the people who suddenly came out the woodwork after the SSBB review going "LOLLOLOL STOOPID NINTY FANBOIS I TOLD EM IT WASNT GOOD IT SUX AND UR ALL STUPID".

They should perhaps take a look at their own behaviour and see that they're essentially doing the exact same thing; latching onto a critic's opinion because they feel it makes their own point of view somehow more valid. These people completely miss the point and turn into fanboys themselves by imposing their own opinions as if they are fact.

What's more pathetic: blindly following Nintendo and accepting whatever games they toss our way or giving a virtual handjob to some random guy out of the millions on the internet?

To answer your question, blindly following Nintendo. At least I like Yahtzee.

And I had a big long post detailing how you were dumb, then I realize that was going to make dumb. So I'm just going to call you names instead. Faghat.

edit: Jesus, I meant to quote the post, and forgot to. And this shit has grown so quickly I've lost it. DAMMMMNNN.

In other words you have no argument whatsoever and instead felt it somehow made you appear smarter by taking a cocky attitude and generally acting like a twat.

By the way, what the fuck does "then I realize that was going to make dumb" mean? You can start calling people idiots when you can actually type out a proper sentence that doesn't change tenses constantly.

I was saying that more people should listen to what Yahtzee says from both angles. If you're a fan of the game and he insults it then big deal. Just move on and forget about it. On the other side of the spectrum if you too hate the game, just because he shares your opinion doesn't somehow make your point of view any more valid. He's just another guy on the internet like you; it just so happen he gets money for it.

It's also amusing how so many people are going "HAHA LOL DUMB FANBOIZZZ GUD JOB YAHTZEE U UTTER LEGEND!!" with terrible spelling and grammar, both of which Yahtzee mocked in his video.

 

[Catten]

"yellow eye"

Whoa dude, you should get that looked at by a doctor.
Could be a sign of jaundice...

...it would explain the bile problems.

 

[MiniMaharu]

Idiot stretched the page D<

 

[EscChaos]

Great as always (Do you really need us to tell you that? It?s a pretty superfluous statement as almost everything you do can be put under ?fantastic.?)

I especially liked the 1984-references; don?t be shy of showing the intellectual side of yourself.

Keep up the good work.