Zero Punctuation: Mass Effect 2

[Wareve]

Sex is a possible part of any game. Never the center of it. (allmost never. As you can see in this. http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/features/hentai.htm ) The obsession with mass effect and the very small part that sex plays in it just takes away from the game as a whole.
Mineing sucks. Agreed.
I would have perfered that the whole world exploreing thing get improved as aposed to shafted. But I never want to deal with that same mako shit agian.
Loved the writeing. Forever and always.

 

[LiquidGrape]

He didn't romance Tali. Do you know why? He's a normal male. Not a mouth breathing, hentai watching, creeper who watches little girls get off the school bus.

Yes, that's what you are if you did that.

If that's the case, I'd rather be a mouth breathing, hentai-watching creeper who watches little girls get off the school bus than submit to Yahtzee's alternative.
I mean, Miranda?
So utterly devoid of personality the scriptwriters could've achieved the same overall result by taping a pair of ripe pomegranates to a piece of plywood and place it awkwardly in select scenes when the T'n'A factor wasn't great enough.

 

[lacktheknack]

Good ol mister Gobblecoqhe, hadnt heard anything from that guy in a while. What happened to him anyway?

Tabula Rasa died, as did Gareth. I guess you missed the funeral.

 

[Ian Caronia]

It was a great review with very little cruelty. In fact, there was none. Considering that this review came from the Prince of Cynics it was, dare I say, sweet. I know SOMEONE who enjoyed ME2...

-I'm disappointed he didn't bring up how most of the characters never interact with one another. I am glad he talked about the ominous tones of the loading screen text.

"Import your Shepard to Mass Effect 3... If you survive..."

Freaked me out on my first playthrough. Made me think I was doomed to die and Bioware was just fucking with me.

 

[lacktheknack]

Bioware never relly got the hint that one the most important reasons their game sold so well was the space boobage.

Check the site articles about Bioware's dictatorship. They knew exactly what they were doing.

 

[AugustSchmidt]

Excellent review. I liked this game quite a bit, but there were some glaring issues. The mining was just an afterthought. All those descriptions of planets and yet nothing really to actually *do* on them (mostly)? And with all these space pirates and such where are the frakkin' SPACE battles? (Remember Tie Fighter and X-Wing from the 90s? Ye gawds, those were fun games.) After a while, all the actual fighting felt more like a linear series of confrontations in warehouses, service tunnels and sound stages. These are minor gripes, though, and we should be so lucky if more games could approach this level of quality.

 

[MarsProbe]

Good review, and yes I agree, the surface scanning does get rather tedious after a while, even you get the speedy scanner upgrade. I recall first hearing that the Mako had been replaced by a hovering vehicle, I thought we were still going to get the planet exploration sections, but more people would like it because our vehicle would now be able to zoom around the planet at a fair lick and not be bother by terrain so much, because it hovers.

Maybe for ME3, they can keep the dinky little Normandy flying around the galaxy, but give us some kind of vehicle back for cruising around the planets. In fact, why not adopt Yahtzee's idea and have Shepard and co exploring planets on jet-pack powered space wolves, firing their lasers at thresher maws?

By which time, Shepard will probably have a Reaper, a Vorcha and Collector on his/her squad, and the Normandy 3 will have its own brothel....

 

[Jory]

That was a pretty heavy dig at Eve Online. Made me laugh.

I enjoyed the Mako in ME1. I was disappointed when it was gone in 2.

 

[JeanLuc761]

He didn't romance Tali. Do you know why? He's a normal male. Not a mouth breathing, hentai watching, creeper who watches little girls get off the school bus.

Yes, that's what you are if you did that.

Xenophobic much? You're probably trolling but in the event you aren't...

I don't fall into any of the aforementioned stereotypes and I romanced Tali because I'm capable of choosing an excellent personality over a "genetically perfect" body. Thank ya very much.

 

[Superior Mind]

Ah, the first Zero Punctuation of a game I really really liked, am I ready to froth at the mouth with a feeling of betrayal and swear never to watch another ZP again?

Nah. Review was good, critisisms were legitimate and praise was expectedly toned-down. I loved the game, really into the whole Mass Effect universe. Odd 'cause I was never much of a sci-fi junkie. The next one should be pretty exciting.

 

[Ian Caronia]

He didn't romance Tali. Do you know why? He's a normal male. Not a mouth breathing, hentai watching, creeper who watches little girls get off the school bus.

Yes, that's what you are if you did that.

If that's the case, I'd rather be a mouth breathing, hentai-watching creeper who watches little girls get off the school bus than submit to Yahtzee's alternative.
I mean, Miranda?
So utterly devoid of personality the scriptwriters could've achieved the same overall result by taping a pair of ripe pomegranates to a piece of plywood and place it awkwardly in select scenes when the T'n'A factor wasn't great enough.

I ALMOST went for her until I noticed that Tali, Jack, and even Samara (though that choice was brutal) were incredibly well written. I especially like Tali and Jack, though. Not only were they fun characters to do missions with, but their love subplots really added a layer of fun to the game.

-Look at the ME2 boxart. You see that, people? Shepard, Thane, and Miranda, and only TWO of those three belong on that cover. Wanna guess who they- It's Thane and Shepard! HA! Beat you snarky bastards to the punch!

 

[Mercsenary]

Heh... he's got a point with the paragon/renegade choices... though maybe it wasnt meant to be good/evil. Just well... Nice/Naughty?

:|

 

[DevilSShadoW]

aww common, EvE's not that bad... ish...
Great review by the way!

 

[ZippyDSMlee]

I miss the vehicle sections they were fun...and so was equipment.... oh well water it down here we go bioshock again >>

uhg when will devs learn you can dumb it down and have that as a default option for people who can't handel menus while the rest of us can haz a game to play minus the piss...er...water.....

I love RPGs, I love Bioware and I love Bioware RPGs.

Both vehicle sections and equipment screen were THE WORST things about ME1, if you exclude problems with modern Nvidia drivers, not game's fault. Equipment screen was a major clusterbeep and Mako sucked ass. Seriously, it was so unwieldy I did all the "walking" missions first before going into Mako.

After playing Mass2 I'd agree to most of this. Mixing Vehicle exploration and scanning at the same time would be waaaaaaaay better. The ending was rather bad though, because when you eliminate the threat and go say "Hey council i took care of the problem for you." That option mysteriously isn't there.

It's like they fucked it up on purpose...

Solid game, good fun, DLC is probably coming out in droves so hang onto it. The end.

It wouldn't be logical if they DID thank you. They said they won't acknowledge the Reapers as a real threat, since nobody saw them except for Shepard, and they think Sovereign was actually a Geth warship or something... Especially since the scavengers (one of them was Cerberus) took most of the parts from the ship, so it was impossible for Council to get any informations about the Reapers.

Meh the Mako only had a couple of flaws otherwise it was more fun to dune buggie around than fight and with mods to the weapons,hover,jump jets,ect and more things to shoot it would have been an awesome optional side quest, you see you leave it in make it better then add a automated generated script thingy so people who do not hate and loath simple fun things like inventory,equipment,riding around can still manage to enjoy the game while those who want watered down can skip all that and get right to the movie.... I like the equipment setup because you could mod and tweak weapons and armor which made up for having it big time.

 

[TheEarlOfGrey]

Yahtzee must have liked it. There's less raping of the game compared to other reviews.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Heh, another great one. Better since I was actually playing the game.

 

[blazeuk]

i want a lazer shooting wolf!

 

[clank1013]

roflmao, i couldnt stop laughing throu the whole thing, one of my fav episodes yet, =)

 

[clzark]

I think jetpacks with wolfs shooting lasers from their mouth would make mass effect about 100 times better. and I'm rather fond of mass effect.

 

[ItsAPaul]

I thought gameplay was amazing, and I generally hate shooters. This and Fallout 3 are the only games since Baldur's Gate 2 that can keep me playing all day. Good review all around, as the element hunting would get tedious if you're not a huge astronomy fan like I am.