Zero Punctuation: Mass Effect

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hickwarrior

a samurai... devil summoner?
Nov 7, 2007
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SpiderKnives said:
Having gone through Mass Effect a second time, something I rarely do, I've got the tendency to disagree with this review even further. It's touch-and-go, half-arsed, encourages dumbing down of videogames, does wordier games like PST a great injustice and does crappier combat systems like KoTOR an even greater one. The only just complaint is the Mako.

The reason this bugs me so much is that Yahtzee is mostly right about which games are worth having. Doing this instant classic a disservice such as this will have awful implications on sequels and other such ambitious RPGs.

After having played all the major titles for PC and 360, Mass Effect is game of the year 2007 in my list and for excellent reasons. How disappointing of Yahtzee to bash an excellent title such as this, just for the sake of antagonizing the current market.
But you haven't noticed that he said it's an ignorant hate speech. Besides that, you try to do a review of an RPG game within a week, one you haven't played at all. That might also add to that equation.
 

ebannaw

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Dec 24, 2007
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I'm sorry, but i'm going to have to strongly disagree with Yahtzee on this. Wait, no. I'm not sorry. The fucking jackass was dead wrong. I think he does a good job on most of his other "reviews" but here the twat is sucking his own cock.


Anyway, this game conveys such a deep, thought-provoking story and creates very likeable and lifelike characters. When most other games struggle to do this, Bioware manages to pull it off once again and this time in a unique setting. It's hard to not like Ashley and her fiery, yet kind spirit. Or to feel sorry for Wrex and how fucked up his life has been. The game is designed to convey fiction interactively, which is the main reason I love the game so much. It only helps that the game has an incredibly fun combat system and character/equipment development. The game's subplots, main plot, and background all make the game's fiction up into one fantastically realistic and plausible sci-fi situation. I am an avid PC gamer, and this game looked too interesting for me to pass up. It was the first Xbox 360 game I ever bought, and I must say I am in no way, shape or form regretting it. It's the most fun i've had with a game in while.

In the end, I guess it's a matter of opinion. While yahtzee seems to think people who play RPGs are douche-bags with no life, I guess he's the one left in the corner yanking his own cock day in and out because he's the one criticizing people for having a good time. Suck my cock on this one Yahtzee, you prick. Otherwise, G'Day mate but your daily course of shit on a shingle is starting to seep through your pores. I'd go back to cupcakes for a while.
 

SomeBlackGuy

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Dec 24, 2007
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ebannaw said:
I'm sorry, but i'm going to have to strongly disagree with Yahtzee on this. Wait, no. I'm not sorry. The fucking jackass was dead wrong. I think he does a good job on most of his other "reviews" but here the twat is sucking his own cock.


Anyway, this game conveys such a deep, thought-provoking story and creates very likeable and lifelike characters. When most other games struggle to do this, Bioware manages to pull it off once again and this time in a unique setting. It's hard to not like Ashley and her fiery, yet kind spirit. Or to feel sorry for Wrex and how fucked up his life has been. The game is designed to convey fiction interactively, which is the main reason I love the game so much. It only helps that the game has an incredibly fun combat system and character/equipment development. The game's subplots, main plot, and background all make the game's fiction up into one fantastically realistic and plausible sci-fi situation. I am an avid PC gamer, and this game looked too interesting for me to pass up. It was the first Xbox 360 game I ever bought, and I must say I am in no way, shape or form regretting it. It's the most fun i've had with a game in while.

In the end, I guess it's a matter of opinion. While yahtzee seems to think people who play RPGs are douche-bags with no life, I guess he's the one left in the corner yanking his own cock day in and out because he's the one criticizing people for having a good time. Suck my cock on this one Yahtzee, you prick. Otherwise, G'Day mate but your daily course of shit on a shingle is starting to seep through your pores. I'd go back to cupcakes for a while.
*Swoosh* Right over your head...

He's just using Satire to provide an enjoyable review based upon his opinion.

Stop getting burt-hurt because he says some bad things about your "Godlike" game.



Anyway, I'm looking forward to the COD 4 review, It's won lot's of awards, including GOTY awards from IGN and Gamespy, so I can't imagine Yahtzee to rag on the game too much.
 

Typhaeon

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Dec 24, 2007
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I'd dread it, but I'd still like to see him review Persona 3, if only because that's one of the few JRPGs I legitimately enjoy.
 

ebannaw

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Dec 24, 2007
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SomeBlackGuy said:
ebannaw said:
I'm sorry, but i'm going to have to strongly disagree with Yahtzee on this. Wait, no. I'm not sorry. The fucking jackass was dead wrong. I think he does a good job on most of his other "reviews" but here the twat is sucking his own cock.


Anyway, this game conveys such a deep, thought-provoking story and creates very likeable and lifelike characters. When most other games struggle to do this, Bioware manages to pull it off once again and this time in a unique setting. It's hard to not like Ashley and her fiery, yet kind spirit. Or to feel sorry for Wrex and how fucked up his life has been. The game is designed to convey fiction interactively, which is the main reason I love the game so much. It only helps that the game has an incredibly fun combat system and character/equipment development. The game's subplots, main plot, and background all make the game's fiction up into one fantastically realistic and plausible sci-fi situation. I am an avid PC gamer, and this game looked too interesting for me to pass up. It was the first Xbox 360 game I ever bought, and I must say I am in no way, shape or form regretting it. It's the most fun i've had with a game in while.

In the end, I guess it's a matter of opinion. While yahtzee seems to think people who play RPGs are douche-bags with no life, I guess he's the one left in the corner yanking his own cock day in and out because he's the one criticizing people for having a good time. Suck my cock on this one Yahtzee, you prick. Otherwise, G'Day mate but your daily course of shit on a shingle is starting to seep through your pores. I'd go back to cupcakes for a while.
*Swoosh* Right over your head...

He's just using Satire to provide an enjoyable review based upon his opinion.

Stop getting burt-hurt because he says some bad things about your "Godlike" game.



Anyway, I'm looking forward to the COD 4 review, It's won lot's of awards, including GOTY awards from IGN and Gamespy, so I can't imagine Yahtzee to rag on the game too much.

And i'm just using satire to prove how much of a dumbass you are.
 

MorkFromOrk

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Sep 9, 2007
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Astonishingly you didn't mention the framerate drops nor did you mention the long texture loading times, easy targets for sure. Also by missing the side quests you managed to miss out on the part of the game that was truly monotonous i.e. driving over endlessly boring terrain to find a downed beacon that "surprise" has that type IV weapon mod you've been wanting.
 

SomeBlackGuy

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Dec 24, 2007
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ebannaw said:
SomeBlackGuy said:
ebannaw said:
I'm sorry, but i'm going to have to strongly disagree with Yahtzee on this. Wait, no. I'm not sorry. The fucking jackass was dead wrong. I think he does a good job on most of his other "reviews" but here the twat is sucking his own cock.


Anyway, this game conveys such a deep, thought-provoking story and creates very likeable and lifelike characters. When most other games struggle to do this, Bioware manages to pull it off once again and this time in a unique setting. It's hard to not like Ashley and her fiery, yet kind spirit. Or to feel sorry for Wrex and how fucked up his life has been. The game is designed to convey fiction interactively, which is the main reason I love the game so much. It only helps that the game has an incredibly fun combat system and character/equipment development. The game's subplots, main plot, and background all make the game's fiction up into one fantastically realistic and plausible sci-fi situation. I am an avid PC gamer, and this game looked too interesting for me to pass up. It was the first Xbox 360 game I ever bought, and I must say I am in no way, shape or form regretting it. It's the most fun i've had with a game in while.

In the end, I guess it's a matter of opinion. While yahtzee seems to think people who play RPGs are douche-bags with no life, I guess he's the one left in the corner yanking his own cock day in and out because he's the one criticizing people for having a good time. Suck my cock on this one Yahtzee, you prick. Otherwise, G'Day mate but your daily course of shit on a shingle is starting to seep through your pores. I'd go back to cupcakes for a while.
*Swoosh* Right over your head...

He's just using Satire to provide an enjoyable review based upon his opinion.

Stop getting burt-hurt because he says some bad things about your "Godlike" game.



Anyway, I'm looking forward to the COD 4 review, It's won lot's of awards, including GOTY awards from IGN and Gamespy, so I can't imagine Yahtzee to rag on the game too much.

And i'm just using satire to prove how much of a dumbass you are.
Nice try, Boyo
 

Hypersapien

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Nov 14, 2007
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Yahtzee fully deserves a holiday break, but it would be nice for The Escapist to tell us not to expect a review this week.
 

msbs42

New member
Dec 26, 2007
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i think its safe to say we wont get one. most of his reviews come around 12 or 1 EST, and seeing as its now 2:30 i have to think there wont be one.
 

Drowmonk

New member
Nov 7, 2007
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msbs42 said:
i think its safe to say we wont get one. most of his reviews come around 12 or 1 EST, and seeing as its now 2:30 i have to think there wont be one.
Agreed.
 

Duwom

New member
Dec 26, 2007
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ebannaw said:
I'm sorry, but i'm going to have to strongly disagree with Yahtzee on this. Wait, no. I'm not sorry. The fucking jackass was dead wrong. I think he does a good job on most of his other "reviews" but here the twat is sucking his own cock.


Anyway, this game conveys such a deep, thought-provoking story and creates very likeable and lifelike characters. When most other games struggle to do this, Bioware manages to pull it off once again and this time in a unique setting. It's hard to not like Ashley and her fiery, yet kind spirit. Or to feel sorry for Wrex and how fucked up his life has been. The game is designed to convey fiction interactively, which is the main reason I love the game so much. It only helps that the game has an incredibly fun combat system and character/equipment development. The game's subplots, main plot, and background all make the game's fiction up into one fantastically realistic and plausible sci-fi situation. I am an avid PC gamer, and this game looked too interesting for me to pass up. It was the first Xbox 360 game I ever bought, and I must say I am in no way, shape or form regretting it. It's the most fun i've had with a game in while.

In the end, I guess it's a matter of opinion. While yahtzee seems to think people who play RPGs are douche-bags with no life, I guess he's the one left in the corner yanking his own cock day in and out because he's the one criticizing people for having a good time. Suck my cock on this one Yahtzee, you prick. Otherwise, G'Day mate but your daily course of shit on a shingle is starting to seep through your pores. I'd go back to cupcakes for a while.
Post Merry Christmas everyone would like a Christmas review but oh well

Ebannaw, Where to start, i have no idea how you could love a game so much like if you want like if u want grab ur own cock and put it through the lil hole in cd, btw i hope your using lube. Mass effect Isn't the gold chariot that descends from heaven and saves you from your days toiling in the dirt and takes you to the land of the RPG grinding. Now as Yahtzee has clearly stated that he isn't a big fan of RPG grinding and he has trouble understanding why people like you do like the grind.

now figure 09 has said

"jst to put it this way, i love RPGS, i dont get how masseffect is one though. and its no bloody fun, having 2 pause 2 open ur effing combat wheel thingy every 2 seconds."

well if thats true about the combat wheel then thats pretty shit. now Ebannaw you start talking about the characters and the life story and well NOBODY CARES ABOUT A CHARACTER IN A GAME BECAUSE THERE PIXELS AND PROGRAMING now sometimes people could be moved if it was 100% accurate in history or on the present. Now figure 09 i know what your saying but mass effect is a RPG and you can tell because you choice you attack and it rolls things like if it hits and much damage it dose and if the dodge and so on and so forth, but the attacks should be on a continues loop once you choice the attack and not have to choice it over and over
so yeah ebannaw i hope that one day you will crawl out from your basement/gaming place/bedroom and go hang in the sun, all the best Duwom
P.s you have to excuse my bad grammer its early and i stayed up to about 3
 

loony636

Member
Dec 26, 2007
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I wish they'd come out with a PC version of Mass Effect, since I'm not going to buy a 360 just to play 2 or 3 games; Halo 3 (just because you have to), Mass Effect and...and...that other one that they ruined, oh, Perfect Dark: Zero.
 

R Man

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Dec 19, 2007
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"jst to put it this way, i love RPGS, i dont get how masseffect is one though. and its no bloody fun, having 2 pause 2 open ur effing combat wheel thingy every 2 seconds."

well if thats true about the combat wheel then thats pretty shit."

Its not true. I hardly ever bothered using the combat wheel. There is not any reason to use it more than once a battle and even then even once isn't usually nessesary.

"now Ebannaw you start talking about the characters and the life story and well NOBODY CARES ABOUT A CHARACTER IN A GAME BECAUSE THERE PIXELS AND PROGRAMING"

Frankly that is crap. The essense of RPG's (And many Television shows and movies and even books) is to make the viewer/player/reader empathise with the characters. In a well made game even though we know they are pixels we don't treat them as such and that's what makes great characters.

Now back to other things:
Going back over Yahtzee's review I still find it more perplexing and lackluster. The fists 2 minuted were pretty good until it got to the dialouge critisism. In the end it seems as though he decided to hate the game before he played it and as a result it seems fake.
 

sequio

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Dec 15, 2007
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I can't believe they called her Ashley Williams. I guess the developers weren't Bruce Campbell fans.
 

SilentScope001

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Dec 26, 2007
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To those who think Wall Of Text redeems Mass Effect:

Why not read a novel instead? Or a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure story? Both are just as fun as Mass Effect...and without any glitches too!
***
This wasn't ZP's finest hour, to be sure. Then again, Yazthee didn't like RPGs. I do, but I won't take it as hate speech, I take it as a legit criticism of the RPG gerne, and why I never actually play RPGs even though I like them.

Why didn't he mention "A Galaxy of Fablous Wonderment?" though. I really liked that game, I really do.
 

Ryuuku

New member
Dec 27, 2007
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Funny, but seriously, learn about Japanese culture before you slame JRPGS. There is a reason why the guys are pretty, and there's nothing wrong with it. Learn to live with it, or don't play the game. Simple as that.