Zero Punctuation: Mercenaries 2

Aurora219

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Aug 31, 2008
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I think Mercenaries are a good addition to the world of gaming.

Storyline THATAWAY >>>

<<< Depth THATAWAY

Blowing shit up here. Stay or move on, s'up to you.

Vromnir post=6.72937.781936 said:
Shiuz91 post=6.72937.778119 said:
I think i figured out why Yahtee hasn't reviewed SW:TFU. He must have enjoyed it and he can't think of any funny big problems with the game. Also this review was awesome.
I dont think that would stop him from doing a review, becouse if you remember his orange box and phyconauts reviews, he really liked those games and the rewiew was still just as good as any other ones.
TFU is one of the easiest games to rip into in a long time..
 

yourkie1921

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Jul 24, 2008
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bigWilly post=6.72937.784336 said:
ElephantGuts post=6.72937.779126 said:
You've got to try coop.
you've got to try pouring lemon juice and salt into your eyes coz thats what merc's 2 graphics engine does to yo eyeballs cuzzzz
*sigh* I never wanted to be exposed to this kind of idiocy on the escapist. People like you are the reason that all games must now have a brown tint.
 

WhiteTigerShiro

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Sep 26, 2008
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Heroic One post=6.72937.778580 said:
It... it actually WALKED OFF the building? Wow.

That's damn impressive AI.
Clumsy AI like that makes for great stories years down the road when reminiscing about games of ole. Joking with friends about funny things that have happened in games is one reason why I secretly enjoy playing poorly-made games. You just can't get comedy like that from a good game. :D

Edit: Also, where's our Force Unleashed review? :3
 

Anaphyis

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Jun 17, 2008
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Great review.

And the ads will be back and I'll tell you why: Because things tend to cost money in the real world and especially the people bitching and moaning the loudest about it are the people the least likely to pay for the content if they were given this alternative.

Nothing beats spoiled and ungratefull internet retards, demanding everything should be free, free of ads and of course exactly what they want. Unfortunatly no one beats them. With a big lead pipe.
 

JoeNut

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Aug 27, 2008
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very good, i liked your "steal the enemy helicopter so they don't recognise me" plan, shame it didnt work.

Glad you got rid of the Ads.
 

Conkergs

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Sep 10, 2008
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The only thing that makes mercenaries 2 fun for me it's that i live in venezuela so it fells somewhat terapeutic to blow all my neihborgs to tiny wee pieces
 

Vromnir

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Sep 23, 2008
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Aurora219 post=6.72937.784893 said:
I think Mercenaries are a good addition to the world of gaming.

Storyline THATAWAY >>>

<<< Depth THATAWAY

Blowing shit up here. Stay or move on, s'up to you.

Vromnir post=6.72937.781936 said:
Shiuz91 post=6.72937.778119 said:
I think i figured out why Yahtee hasn't reviewed SW:TFU. He must have enjoyed it and he can't think of any funny big problems with the game. Also this review was awesome.
I dont think that would stop him from doing a review, becouse if you remember his orange box and phyconauts reviews, he really liked those games and the rewiew was still just as good as any other ones.
TFU is one of the easiest games to rip into in a long time..
Why? It seems good to me.
 

AceDiamond

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Jul 7, 2008
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The Iron Ninja post=6.72937.782734 said:
Honestly I don't think he was hard enough on this game. Mercenaries 2 was one of the most pretentious, broken and depressingly short games I've played in quite a while.
You get hold of these things called "Nuclear Bunker Busters" at the end, before I used them I was trying to find a vantage point ages away from my target, thinking "well it's Nuclear, I doubt standing thirty metres away from it is going to be very healthy."
But unfortunately the range of the laser designator is only thirty metres, so I had to stand right next to it. And I wasn't hurt, my Swedish guy just covered his eyes and said "oh bother, this bright nuclear explosion is really quite an annoyance, I sure hope it dissipates soon." When I could actually see again the bunker in question was slightly cracked, but for some reason all the surrounding trees (which can be destroyed by wayward cars veering off the road) were all still standing. This supposedly Nuclear weapon has a damage radius of about twenty metres. Couple that with the very short range from which you can call one in, and you end up with having the exact same thing happen each time.
Bomb comes down, big flash of light, sometimes able to see the outline of a mushroom cloud through the brightness, and then your vision returns and you see that only the building you targeted is damaged, the others (in a tightly packed city street) are all fine.
When I heard that you could get nukes I figured that meant I could stand on a far away hill and watch as a ,mushroom cloud signalled the defeat on an entire city. Not only is the damage it causes pathetic, but I can't even see what little damage it is doing due to the (inescapable) bright light.

Now my only fear is that if I continue bad mouth this most heinous of games in the other forums, that I will automatically be seen as blindly picking up Yahtzee's banner of scorn and dancing around like a sheep.
I should go back and bookmark all the previous posts I have made about this game... just in case, then I can shove them (and more importantly the date of said posts) in whoever's face it is needed to be shoved.
Just because a weapon is nuclear does not mean it's high-yield. Especially when you're trying to hit a target that might be within a city, you don't want a lot of collateral damage (in theory), thus most of the blast is really channeled through underground and will take out a lot of the surrounding area but not reduce it to a nuclear smoking crater.

Of course there's the other, simpler way to say it, which goes something like this: "You're hijacking helicopters with a grappling hook gun and taking down whole armored divisions armed only with a pistol and a couple grenades and the most unrealistic thing you could think about in this game was the capabilities of a tactical nuclear weapon? It's a game, it doesn't have to be steeped in hard science."
 

The Iron Ninja

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Aug 13, 2008
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AceDiamond post=6.72937.789311 said:
Just because a weapon is nuclear does not mean it's high-yield. Especially when you're trying to hit a target that might be within a city, you don't want a lot of collateral damage (in theory), thus most of the blast is really channeled through underground and will take out a lot of the surrounding area but not reduce it to a nuclear smoking crater.

Of course there's the other, simpler way to say it, which goes something like this: "You're hijacking helicopters with a grappling hook gun and taking down whole armored divisions armed only with a pistol and a couple grenades and the most unrealistic thing you could think about in this game was the capabilities of a tactical nuclear weapon? It's a game, it doesn't have to be steeped in hard science."
I don't think "Nuclear explosions hurt things" is really considered 'hard science.'
I would think it would be more of an inescapable fact.
The Nuclear Bunker buster is essentially just a normal bunker buster with a (completely cosmetic) mushroom cloud. And at least you can actually see the normal bunker buster taking effect, when I use a nuke on something I actually want to see the destruction. Not just the aftermath (which as stated earlier, is also pretty pathetic.)
It's not like they needed to scale it down for balancing reasons or anything, you only unlock it at the end of the game, if it's supposed to be some kind of reward for those (admittedly rather few) hours of playing. Then it might as well be spectacular.

you said:
most of the blast is really channeled through underground and will take out a lot of the surrounding area but not reduce it to a nuclear smoking crater.
That's the thing though, it doesn't take out a lot of the surounding area, at most it can take out two buildings (if they're placed close enough to each other. Soldiers caught in the blast often walk out of it unscathed.

Edit: Well this is a new low for me... I'm arguing on a Featured Content thread.
On that note, I'd just like say that I don't care what you have to say next, and I wont respond to it. (unless of course if it's "Man... he sure made a good point, I agree with you wholeheartedly sir")
 

Melaisis

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Dec 9, 2007
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Back to form, Yahtz. Its the changes in your speed, pitch and tone which really make it funny.
 

AceDiamond

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Jul 7, 2008
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The Iron Ninja post=6.72937.789884 said:
While your points are valid the nuclear bunker buster is a plot device first, and done correctly actually. The blast is again, channeled into the ground, or more correctly (since I admit I screwed that up) supposed to be channeled at the bunker it's fired at, at least that's what i'm getting from wikipedia so consider the source. Therefore it's really not going to devastate large portions of cityscape anyway.

EDIT: I also wouldn't say we're full-on arguing. It's not like we've degenerated to name-calling yet
 

Perpetr8r

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Apr 24, 2008
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Whee! Look at me, I'm a comment Yahtzee won't read!

Um... why do we even get the chance to comment on these things anyway? It almost seems like an excuse for people to get into internet arguments with each other or to make believe that we're part of the development process of Zero Punctuation and not just masses of people with too much free time on our hands. Hmmm...
 

Jamanticus

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Perpetr8r post=6.72937.793036 said:
Whee! Look at me, I'm a comment Yahtzee won't read!

Um... why do we even get the chance to comment on these things anyway? It almost seems like an excuse for people to get into internet arguments with each other or to make believe that we're part of the development process of Zero Punctuation and not just masses of people with too much free time on our hands. Hmmm...
It's just for us to express our opinions, Perpetr8r. Debates and the like are really the reason that forums exist. Yes, Yahtzee won't pay attention to any of this (thankfully), but at least we get to see other peoples' views on Yahtzee's material and we can have discussions.