Zero Punctuation: Mercenaries 2

Dommyboy

New member
Jul 20, 2008
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Perpetr8r post=6.72937.793036 said:
Whee! Look at me, I'm a comment Yahtzee won't read!

Um... why do we even get the chance to comment on these things anyway? It almost seems like an excuse for people to get into internet arguments with each other or to make believe that we're part of the development process of Zero Punctuation and not just masses of people with too much free time on our hands. Hmmm...
Eg. Youtube.
 

scmantis

New member
Oct 7, 2008
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Hi Yahtzee, excellent review. I played the original Mercenaries at a friend's house. I have to admit I absolutely loved it given that I only had an hour and I spent most of the time pissing off my allies.

But I have another problem. One that requires urgent attention. My parents bought me a Wii last Christmas. I so far have Wii Sports, Wii Play and Super Mario Galaxy, which I found strangely satisfying. However, being a former prehistorical Sega fan I'm not that interested in the Nintendo Francise, nor am I interested in the "We found something new with the Wii remote let's milk it for all its worth games!". In fact, given Nintendo's current target market is all over the god damn place I'm scared of buying any game at ridiculous prices in fear I will be grossly disappointed.

This is hence why I was looking forward to the recent release of Super Mario Kart Wii. It was the only upcoming game that seemed safe to buy but recently I've heard tragic rumours. Are they true? Perhaps you could cover this in your next review?
 

Galletea

Inexplicably Awesome
Sep 27, 2008
2,877
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I kinda want to play the game now. Maybe just to laugh at it and blow stuff up.
 

iKaze

New member
Oct 8, 2008
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Awesome reviews as always, the game is indeed terrible from what ive seen of it being played
 

chase211

New member
Sep 22, 2008
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Perhaps I'm spoiled...but why waste time reviewing this crap...couldn't you have at least found something that a blind man couldn't have seen the problems with in the first 5 min...or atleast pleased us all by doing star wars force unleashed which was terrible...

Or perhaps you just wanted to do an easy review so you could get back to being ballz deep in silent hill homecomming (I have very low expectations). I suggest skipping over the Lego Batman game for a review seeing as its just like lego starwarsindianajones
 

credop

New member
Oct 8, 2008
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good. and i hav summit to say wt r u all moaning about? " ID MISS YOU IF YOU WERE GONE" i mean your godlike dominatrix like abilities are amazing but i wouldnt miss you, u play a small/medium part in my life like chocolate sponge... well actually that is alot of ood chocolate sponge so screw it. anyway the morale of this story is i love chocolate sponge cake.
 

AtomiK99

New member
Oct 8, 2008
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Whats wrong with game developers these days? I was a huge fan of Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction so why does Mercs 2 suck the rigid flaming cock of satan? How can you make a sequel thats WORSE than the original? *cough* AvP 2, Halo 2, Operation Winback 2... *COUGH*

I remember watching a "behind the scenes" preview video and one of the developers said "the maps in Mercs 2 will be twice as big as the maps in the first game..." (take note he said MAPSSSSSS plural)

First off theres only one map, not two, like the first game.
Secondly If the map is twice as big, then why the hell is the game 10 times shorter?

Hello? Brain? Where are you?!

And another thing... vehicle physics. They went from normal vehicle physics in the first game to handling like a shopping cart in zero-G gravity!... what the hell happened?!?

And dont get me started on the End Boss... a friggen button mash sequence? How un-f**king-satisfying was that?

Jesus just writing this has made me hate the game even more!

Thanks Electronic Arts you really blew it out your arse this time... and then some!
 

ssgt splatter

New member
Oct 8, 2008
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thank you for bashing the lengendarlly thick AI, the one that pisses me off the most is when you're driving down the road and a civilian runs TOWARDS your car instead of away from it. But your right, it is funny as hell when you call for support and they step off the edge of the helipad and die
 

Qorn

New member
Oct 29, 2008
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I found the story fairly stupid and dragged out so they could bring some americans and chinese to run at each other along with the other factions. i decided to discard the story and blow the hell out of everything in m path and guess what it was fun and i didn't care to figure out how to get better bombs for blowing stuff up i just went out found some random bombs and used those even if there was only one person just to see the awesome explosions.
 

Qorn

New member
Oct 29, 2008
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ya it sucked, but it had enough fun to last me a couple hours before realizing how much it was missing in it. and who cares about stupidity in ai they're not there to truly be helpful. to make them smart would be a change for the better, but in these kinds of games we actually don't need it because they're job is to get killed by you, the enemies who decide to target them, or themselves (for which afterward they blame you).
 

Ryuzaki

The Public Face of L
Nov 5, 2008
199
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Great review. I liked the game, it was fun, but some of the missions got a bit tiresome towards the end. The wanten destruction in the game is great, but it was annoying when I placed several charges of C4 on a biulding I wanted to destroy and then have my allies park themselves right next to it as I pull the trigger and then blame me for it. That and allies stealing your helecopters and walking of piers to there deaths when you ask them to man the guns on your boat. Oh well, destroying the oil rigs was fun.
 

Ryuzaki

The Public Face of L
Nov 5, 2008
199
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The final boss fight was very unsatisfing and annoying. However you get the impression that they had almost thrown the story out the window by then. The actual story line could probably be done in a few hours if it were not for the endless side quests. Yahtzee's right though the game was fun, but the story could have been much better.
 

Naterstein

New member
Oct 18, 2008
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GAWD! This game blows. Only reason its even remotely difficult is due to the crappy physics, lame grenade throwing, and a merc who cannot shoot for shit.

More on throwing. Why is it that all the PC mercs throw like they are infants chucking a shotput? While the AI can hurl a 'nade with as much accuracy as John Elway can a football.

The game is mediocre at best due to all the poor mechanics. I wont even comment on teh story. Ive had a little fun, but more aggravation than anything.

Don't waste your money!
 

-bladerunner-

New member
Dec 22, 2008
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Possibly the worst game I have ever played I am sorry to say. The visual glitches were terrible and missions weren't fun.
 

D_987

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Jun 15, 2008
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AtomiK99 said:
Whats wrong with game developers these days? I was a huge fan of Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction so why does Mercs 2 suck the rigid flaming cock of satan? How can you make a sequel thats WORSE than the original? *cough* AvP 2, Halo 2, Operation Winback 2... *COUGH*
Because its entirely down to opionion...
 

RTR

New member
Mar 22, 2008
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"Actually, that's something I've been intending to bring up, Miss."
All those dick jokes make a lot more sense now.
Hilarious!
 

highoctan90

New member
Apr 27, 2009
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I have found it true ihat, i would be holding onto something that would kill every bad guy within 10 miles of me and i would still throwing pebbles and my empty soda can at a giant monster.