Zero Punctuation: Metal Gear Solid 4

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BBQ Platypus

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Sep 23, 2008
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Speaking as someone who doesn't own a PS3 (or any current generation console), I thought I'd throw in my utterly irrelevant thoughts now that the game's been out for three fucking months. I've played the previous MGS games, and I like the series quite a bit (not so much MGS2, though). I wouldn't go to the level of calling myself a fanboy, though. I don't plan on getting a PS3, and I doubt I'll ever get another console again, even if it means missing out on MGS4. This is partly due to a lack of money, and partly due to the fact that I'm mostly a PC gamer.

So, why am I posting if I haven't played the game? Well, mainly to talk about the shit these games take for their storyline. Much of this criticism is valid - perhaps even most of it. The story is often convoluted and at times devolves into boring wankery (with MGS2 being the worst offender). The mixture of realism and boss-fight sillyness can be off-putting for some (though by the time MGS3 rolled around, I'd gotten used to it). In the end, however, I find it quite interesting the majority of the time - I don't mind watching cutscenes as long as they're entertaining, and generally, these games hold my interest.

My favorite of the lot is MGS3 - its story was more straightforward and contained far less wank than MGS2 had in it (though a couple of the bosses were fairly ridiculous, but then again, what do you expect? It's an MGS game). I never felt like I didn't know what the fuck was going on, like in Sons of Liberty. This is not to say that the plot twists didn't surprise or interest me - they just weren't confusing, frustrating, and self-indulgent like in MGS2. I had a good idea of what was happening and what the stakes were. I'm playing as Big Boss - I know who he is. I'm working for the CIA - I know who they are (unlike, say, the Patriots). I'm going into Russian territory to kill my boss and rescue a scientist who has designed what is basically an early version of Metal Gear - I know what that is. I'm doing this because Khrushchev is pissed - I know who he is (even if they don't pronounce his name right). The consequence for failure is thermonuclear war - I know what that entails. And hey, Revolver Ocelot is in it. The gameplay is better than previous installments, and the environments are expansive and show a great deal of variety.

Really, if MGS4 is anything like that, then I'd probably love it if I ever had the inclination to go out and buy it. If it's more like MGS2, then it's still not all that bad (and, in fact, is better than most other games out there). And hey, let's not forget the first installment. That was great, too.

Really, when it comes to sheer mind-numbingly retarded story elements, none of the MGS games have ANYTHING on Metal Gear 2 for the MSX. I mean, this is a game where Snake has to fight toxic HAMSTERS that kill him in ONE HIT. You kill them by luring them out with some cheese and shooting them. And Metal Gear has a penis. And you defeat Big Boss using a lighter and some hairspray. I wish I was kidding.

So anyway, that's my worthless, marginally on-topic opinion. Why did I post this here? I don't know. Fuck off.
 

Xazetuf

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Sep 14, 2008
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You can choose to get rid of the cutscenes or you can choose to use different gameplay elements so at the endo of the day i choose to enjoy my favourite game series.
 

katsabas

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Apr 23, 2008
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I watched the review about 3 times to try and spot the cons. I spotted them, then bought the game and I liked it. Regardless of what everyone says, even Yahtzee in this matter, you do not have to buy all the previous games for the story to make sence. You just have to read the stories in Wikipedia. That's what I did and I grasped about 85% of the whole story, without having played the previous titles. But Yahtzee is Yahtzee and is always right about some things. He was right on the money about verbal explosions, stun gun and other things like the script. But in my opinion, the PMCs are nothing but thick.
 

Galletea

Inexplicably Awesome
Sep 27, 2008
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I loved the game, and disagreed for with Yahtzee for the first time ever. but I still loved the review, no point getting upset because we disagreed.
 

Carthight

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Oct 13, 2008
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How do you do. Long time viewer, first time replier. You are awesome Yahtzee, and the review you gave for Portal is funny. That being said, I never actually played the MGS games, though I have viewed a number of coughgaycough cutscenes and read that novel they pumped out last year or so. Despite this, I have managed to follow a decent chunk of the plot, and though it is really bananas by the fourth game, I can't really say I dislike it. Oo Maybe it's because I've been reading CLAMP mangas too long, or maybe it has something to do with the fact that I actually understand the plot of FLCL, but the story hardly seems like something worth bitching about. At least to me. . .

Also, take it from a Snake/Otacon shipper: they have been bootknocking in fanart and fanfiction since Twin Snakes.

Othere thatn that, I'm certain you're spot on about the combat. But one thing irks me: no comment on those "deadly beauty" freaks? I'd think Laughing Octopus would have at least garnered some sort of odd reaction out of you.
 

ChantoriaDemona

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Apr 8, 2008
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I actually like the game play especially when they started using camouflage(fun times). But when it came to all the cutscenes and nano conversations, I usually skipped them or I would make some food and half listen to what their talking about. Can't they just keep the dialogue to a minimum. "Guess what...there is another conspiracy involving government and someone wants to try and kill you with another military weapon that is again called metal gear. Destroy metal gear and that person before they destroy you." It would save so much time if they just said that at the beginning and then just gave me little clues on where to go. "Sneak to the weapons lab to the north and sneak around till you find another clue, okay?"
 

Carthight

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Oct 13, 2008
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Psycho Mantis is actually one of my favorite villains! Seriously though, by the time you get to MGS 4, wouldn't you already assume by the time you get to the "new game/load" screen that there is going to be a psycho somewhere making a Metal Gear, and that you should probably kill this person and destroy their Metal Gear before they destroy everything? We're dealing with Solid Snake! Yahtzee said so himself: If you've dealt with all the overlong cut scenes before, if you've braved through the insane story and plot twists before, if you have given up hope on seeing anything but long, dramatic death soliloquies. . . If you know the insanity is the norm, and that it bugs you so, then why bother getting the next game? it's because you LIKE the series.
 

naisanza

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Jul 18, 2008
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The controls in this game were perfect. Though there was a slight learning curve to master aiming, moving, and sneaking. After that its a easy task to hide behind cover and pop out as a soldier runs past you to shoot him in the back with a rocket. Or put every guard to sleep and drag them all to one place and plant trip mines around them, so when they wake up they get a nice surprise.
 

V1p3r

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Nov 15, 2008
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Funny, However he should have played on a difficulty higher then 'Very Easy' before reviewing it.Cause most of the stuff said sadly is inacurate.
 

Sparatan117

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Nov 30, 2008
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Heh another great review...Personally love the part "OH CHRIST I CANT GO ON THIS SHIT IS BANANAS!" roflamo
 

Bodb

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Mar 16, 2008
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They should just make a game that's all the boss fights from each game linked together.
 

likalaruku

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Nov 29, 2008
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It's true ;_; At least one out of every 10 women will jump on anything that implies guy x guy. Now I have to play this.....
 

LiquidIroquois

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Jun 26, 2008
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All the Metal Gear/MG Solid games have good stories but the cutscenes in MGS4 are to long!!! and it doesnt even make up for it in the action. Hideo Kojima sold out big time on this one.
 

Thel Vadumee

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Apr 7, 2009
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i think that mr.Croshaw is totally right i thought the game was so boring i didnt even finish the first act, I was like you no this is stupid and and confusing.
 

Solaris Paradox

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Apr 23, 2009
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I found Metal Gear Solid 4 enjoyable, but the main flaws that Yahtzee points out are all indeed present except for one:

I found the story very easy to follow. Yes, this is because I knew the previous games' stories, but I also found MGS2 very easy to follow and I hear people complaining about how confusing that game's story was, leading me to believe that either I am some kind of supergenius or the world is filled with retards. Given the history of mankind, it's probably the latter.

I did and still do take issue with the games STUPIDLY LONG MONOLOGUES. Apart from that, the gameplay is fine even if it is too action oriented, and the story was an engaging conclusion to the series. It's a good game, it's just not the *system-seller* it's cracked up to be.
 

jedidk93

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Apr 19, 2009
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controls were not bad for me cut scenes were to long ran through the game 16 hours with cut scenes 6 without what i really didn't like were 1 the gekko they were very annoying and could kill u in 2 - 1 hits if you got to close and they made doing a no alert run even harder and 2 the fact that snake is old just a turn off when playing a game with a charecter that i liked turned old and the game was too short but big boss hard or extream or w/e was insane and otacon was annoying boss fights were alright i guess I beat the game 6 times few got almost all the extras story wasn't that bad to understand but i didnt play the snes games so i was abit confused depends on your prefrence i guess and i noticed the game wasnt very focused on them metal gears really mo re of the nano machines and liquid
 

Nomanslander

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Feb 21, 2009
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You know what, MGS4 sucked..period

All the game is about is Hideo deciding to push Soild Snake out of the picture just so he could revamp Raiden to a character the fanboys would like. I guess he had a crush on Raiden (I mean he looks like every other androgynous J-pop leading male so go figure) and didn't take it too dearly when everyone hated that character from part two.

And as for the story? It sucked too, so many random side plots being thrown in left and right just so Hideo could tie up all the loose ends from prior installment. It's like I ordered steak at a restaurant and what I got instead was a chicken patty seasoned with a whole bunch of mismatch ingredients left over from yesterdays menu.

The game did have some outstanding parts but it wasn't enough to cover over all the stupid stuff happening in the game...

SPOILER

From a goofball with diarrhea getting Snake's girl in the end to having Big Boss come back from the dead just to die again from the Foxdie virus that is supposedly still in Snakes system...the game even for it's story just had bad direction and left me with a complete bad taste in my mouth.

And Hurray, now we have another MGS game in the future coming out that's going to have nothing but Raiden in it, magically more bad ass then before and not so whinny..>>

And probably still wearing high heels...lol