Zero Punctuation: MindJack

[Something Amyss]

MindWHAT? Never heard of the bloody thing. Squeenix have a horrible habit of never advertising anything without the words Final and Fantasy in it's name.

And even then, Fantasy Warrior: The Final Encounter was left out in the cold.

 

[mjc0961]

Oh yeah, this game. I remember that they made fun of it on Unskippable, and had joked that it might not even come out. I guess it did, and unfortunately so.

But Yahtzee shouldn't have made it sound like Square Enix is somehow developing this game, when they published it. Square Enix never develops an ugly game. A bad game, yes. But an ugly one? No way.

Yes they do. The FF13 box art popped up in the video, and that's the first example I would point to as well. Again, just the box art is all you need: See that thing on the cover? That thing that looks like a man with extremely large breasts? That right there is very ugly. And that's one of the things SE is always doing that makes their games look ugly: they never seem to make characters that look like the gender they are a part of. No Square, slapping giant tits on a character doesn't make it look like a girl when it has an extremely manish face. It just looks like a man with huge boobs, which is very creepy. And very ugly.

Lovin it, as usual. But I do find it amusing that Yahtzee mentions both over-done, bored to death, done a thousand times, third person cover shooter gameplay AND knocks the innovative idea of multiplayer into single player. Some games just can't win with this guy.

Well, first off, it wasn't innovative. And second, it's still bad. It was a bad game mechanic when I had to constantly kill myself after each boss in Demon's Souls so I could play the game without being interrupted by other players randomly joining my game to try and kill me without permission. And it's still a bad game mechanic now. I will remind you that it is called SINGLE player for a reason. It means one player, not two or three or four or more, but ONE. When you play SINGLE player, it means you want to play ALONE. It does not mean you want random players to join in and try to kill you.

So, not an innovative idea, it's just eating the stale and moldy crumbs that Demon's Souls left behind after finishing its shit sandwich over a year ago. And those crumbs aren't any tastier now.

I totally agree - while I have no problem with Yahtzee laying into a game and tearing it a new one he has several times bashed square enix (which he's fine to do) for a game that they have not made. published - yes - actually had a hand in the desgin etc. no.

me thinks his bias agaisnt that company (steming from a hatred for jrpgs) gets the better of him...


...just sayin'

Or maybe it's just the box:

Spoiler

I see "SQUARE ENIX" printed on it. I don't see "feelplus" on there. When I was watching the video and the box-art popped up and it said only "SQUARE ENIX" on it, I thought they made it too, until I looked at the game info box under the video on the way to the comments link and went "oh, they didn't actually make it."

So I dunno. Maybe more research would have been prudent here. But on the other side of the coin... If Square Enix wants all the credit, why not let them have it?

 

[Sparrowsabre7]

Just wanted to make a note about voice acting. It often IS done with the actors in different rooms, on different days. Often all the actor may have to go on is some stand in reading the dialogue back to them or dialogue the other actor has already recorded, hence why some voice acting is so weirdly disjointed.

Also it's harder to project emotion etc with just your voice than your entire body like normal actors and requires an entirely different skillset, hence why some proper actors who voice act often sound awful too.

 

[Vakz]

To kill the cyberrobot, shoot at it until it dies?

 

[The_Fezz]

Apparentley you kill that robot by shooting the enemy npcs it spawns, not that I'd recommened playing this sorry for a game.

Ever.

 

[Hellgate]

This game concept was already used a few times and a lot better Example? Messiah from 2000

 

[drosalion]

The game does sound bad but the multiplayer option to 'hack' into someone's single player game and screw with them does sound intriguing. Maybe a few tweaks would make it better?

Just sounds identical to perfect dark's 'counter-operative' mode on n64. While interesting and different, was probably rarely played by anyone and theres a reason why not many/any other games have done it since. On top of all the different types of multiplayer options in perfect dark (normal multiplayer deathmatch, co-op missions, etc) the mode is a welcome added bonus, but as the 'sole' multiplayer for a game i could imagine it being all but useless and unenjoyable.

 

[Milenkov]

From your Extra Punctuation I was expecting Two Worlds II.

OT: Great review as always

 

[standokan]

Mindjack as in mindfuck, we tricked you in to buying a crappy game because of a relatively awesome trailer.

 

[PinkiePyro]

never even heard of this game

 

[DanDeFool]

Squeenix should have made a shooter based on The Spirits Within.

No, really! Spirits Within was a shit movie but it might have made a halfway decent video game.

 

[lord.jeff]

I'm sure this game sucks, but the idea for people to join in and control enemies sounds fun like in Perfect Dark.

 

[Catalyst6]

I considered Gameflying it, if only out of morbid curiosity to see what they did so wrong. I might still, after the five years it'll take me to get through all the GOOD games.

On an aside: Congrats, Yahtzee! You went the entire vid without a single masturbation joke. Gold star

 

[Xenominim]

Wait a sec. How did you do a whole review on Mindjack and not mention the gun-toting cyborg monkeys? I saw them in several videos, and yes you can Mindjack/hack them as well.

And no they are nowhere near cool enough or funny enough to even give the game points, but they looked to be the most memorable thing about the whole bland affair.

 

[cobaltfram]

Just out of curiosity, does anyone know if that really is the twist the game is leading up to? It seems like it'd be an interesting twist if it was done well.

 

[Cobaltmotari]

The fact you said at the end is something I always say to myself a lot, whenever I find a gameplay mechanic or original idea that turns out to be bad -
"Before you try out these unique ideas, ask yourself - is there a reason why this idea hasn't been done before?"

I guess you and I are starting to think alike, Yahtzee!