Zero Punctuation: Ride to Hell: Retribution

[KarlMonster]

OK, I get that it's bad, but for [insert your deity here]'s sake don't buy it for that reason. And if you have to, just to keep the International Standard Crappy Game in your own private quarantine, please don't pay full price.

Instead, go out and buy an overlooked, but much better game. There's lots of them out there!

Get System Shock 2 on Steam. It's really fascinating to see the origins of Bioshock - before they learned how to better pace their player reward system. And SS2 had bees!

Or Far Cry 2 (personal bias). Or Painkiller! Or anything by Frictional games. Or Cryostasis (again, I liked it a lot) - if that ever becomes available again; its vanished from Steam and other sources. Or Organ Trail. Or...

Man. I'm looking at my library of Steam games and drawing a blank for colossal sleeper games. Did I really buy Endless Space during that last Steam sale? I don't remember being drunk.

...

P.S. Sorry Mars:War Logs, I wanted to like you, but you failed me. The reviews were right. Combat decent, everything else is sub-meh.

 

[SweetWarmIce]

I don't why but I lost it at the Marketing Data guy saying, "What".

 

[Joriss]

What's a good Let's Play channel for this?

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

Sorry, I have no idea how good/bad this game is. As soon as Full Throttle got mentioned I immediately shunted off into nostalgia-mode and missed the rest of the vid. Does someone want to remind me why Lucasarts dropped all of their interesting IPs in favour of releasing the same Star Wars game again and again for fifteen fucking years?

No idea. Probably because it was an easier way to make money? But they're gone now, so I guess nothing works forever.

True enough, if you find a golden goose you're going to want to keep it on the lay, but the fact that Lucasarts are gone now is maybe an indicator that they shouldn't have put all their golden eggs into the Star Wars basket.

Still, as you say they're gone now so no use in crying over spilled blue milk.

 

[Ima Lemming]

Never heard of this game, and THANK GOD I NEVER DID OR CARE FOR IT!!!!

Also, I thought Superman 64 was the plan 9 of video games.

I thought Superman 64 was more like the Star Wars Holiday Special of video games.

If Superman 64 is the Star Wars Holiday Special, then what does that make Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis?

Manos: The Hands of Fate?

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Texture problems?

By chance does it run on that godawful Unreal Engine?

 

[mechalynx]

As the parent of an autistic daughter, I've grown increasingly intolerant of otherwise inteligent people using the term "retarded" to mean thoughtless, inarticulate or lazy. To such a degree now that I've decided to stop listening to your weekly show. Thank you for many pleasant 5 min interludes. Our lives are probably a bit more difficult and challenging than you might imagine, and in addition to the burdens placed on us by cruel genetic twist, we get the extra helping of pain from folks such as yourself, by being the target of a cruel expression, a shorthand quip to provide a laugh at someone elses expense. I've always appreciated the nice break video clips like yours, that actually fit into my needfully busy schedule provide. A cute story to make you feel even worse. My Jordan didnt begin speaking until after she was about 5 and a half, I play an MMO, which nicely fits into my schedule, and my guildies let me pike when I'm needed elsewhere. Tho Jordan had speech at this age (6) she could not speak on the phone. She had never spoken with her grandparents on the phone, too scared. But she did see me talking with my nice guildies, and she summoned up the courage to speak to them via teamspeak, soon another barrier in her life journey was broken down, thanks to the kindness, patience and understanding of gamers. We were at the barn one day where kids like her learn to ride horses, which is theraputic on many levels, I'm a chatty sort and struck up a conversation with the person next to me on the fence rail. Which one is yours, I asked, pointing at the field of riders. Oh she's still gearing up, its my boss Theresa, she had a stroke last year, and this program is really helping her to regain walking skills and learning to speak again. Again I was reminded that mental retardation is a group that you, I and everyone reading this may one day join. None of us are immune from mental retardation, so the notion of treating others as you'd like to be treated is especially poiniant.
Fondly,

Drew

Guess I didn't overreact when I heard that "joke". Nice to know he thinks that anyone with a mental handicap is not a real person. Gives me a really good idea of what kind of person Ben Croshaw is.

 

[Tim Chuma]

What happened with the Last of Us review? Did people crack the sads like the Super Smash Bros review a few years back? Troll level = maximum.

 

[kmg90]

Texture problems?

By chance does it run on that godawful Unreal Engine?

Ding ding ding, we have a winner!

Not only is does it run (poorly) on the unreal engine, they somehow managed to make the controls for pretty much every part of the game janky as ****.

 

[ThunderCavalier]

I agree with Yahtzee. This should be gaming's Plan 9 from Outer Space.

Just imagine what all the marketing heads will think when Medal of Battlefield: Honor of Duty sells less copies than this thing. It'll either be horrible or absolutely glorious.

 

[yellowmage]

Guys. GUYS. GUYS! (And gals!)

I checked TV Tropes to see if this had an entry (it does), and, according to said entry, this game is actually the first of a TRILOGY, whose two remaining games are due for release this year!

Wanna take bets on how much better-worse it can get?

EDIT: Apparently, the other two are subtitled Route 666, a PSN/XBLA RTS (no, really) which should have seen release last month but seemingly hasn't; and Beatdown, a "rock 'n' roll" brawler for mobile platforms.

...Dang, being a non-physical release mitigates the damage (both that they can do to us and vice-versa)...

 

[Grach]

Guys. GUYS. GUYS! (And gals!)

I checked TV Tropes to see if this had an entry (it does), and, according to said entry, this game is actually the first of a TRILOGY, whose two remaining games are due for release this year!

Wanna take bets on how much better-worse it can get?

I have to say, that got me really hype.

 

[Farther than stars]

...Also, I can't believe Deep Silver made this game. I mean, I know Dead Island was no masterpiece, but yesh.

Hm, now I'm sad as well. I have a lot of good faith for Deep Silver for saving my favourite game studio, but then they only care about the money, of course.

So it's so bad it's good....



AWESOME!! THAT'S THE SOLE REASON I WATCH MOVIES!

What about the good movies?

It's Plan 9 from outer space bad?

Jesus, who did they get to pretend they did the QA?

Maybe the QA testers felt bad for the developers and lied to them instead of laughing to their faces. (It would have also been the path of least resistence; can you imagine how much work it must be to point out every single flaw in a game like this?)

 

[FightingFurball]

Hopefully the next ZP will be about Shadowrun: Returns

 

[nicetomeetkita]

I thought the 1% thing referred to 99% of people being the "walking dead" and living useless lives.
Any fans of sociology care to clarify for me?

 

[civver]

So is this worse than Big Rigs?