Zero Punctuation: Sonic Unleashed

[cyrad]

Sonic Games make my my small cousins shut the fuck up when they come ove so thats one thing it mite have going for it.
Also there was a spin off game that a lot of people dont know about that is just entirely about Shadow, (possibbly the only good character in the whole series)which actually plays quite well considering it is a Sonic Spin Off. They should axe sonic and just make games about Shadow if at all.

Oh, ho ho ho! People know about the game. They don't like speaking of it considering how embarrassing it is. While I admit I actually enjoyed it contrary to the infamous Sonic Heroes, the whole game had a rather nasty stench of bad design choices. It had the worst dialogue I've heard in a Sonic game with unnecessary swearing that, ironically, made the characters seem more juvenile than before. While choosing your path was neat, the story was rather lame and never actually explained how Shadow came back to life, which I'm sure many Sonic fans played the game to find out.

Speaking of which, Shadow isn't that great of a character. He was a neat anti-hero in Sonic Adventure 2, and it was nice for Sonic Team to create a character with an actual back story. However, Sonic Team destroyed everything good about the character when they decided to bring him back to life for the pure sake of fanservice, disregarding the fact that it would create massive plot holes that were never explained and undermine the meaningfulness of the character's death that symbolized his redemption and heroism. It completely defeats the purpose of making a character a martyr if you're going to bring them back to life.

My point is that Shadow the Hedgehog the game was an embarrassing attempt by Sonic Team to gain sales from fanservice alone. They transformed what once was a deep character into a walking pile of fanservice, going all gangsta style with guns and fancy vehicles.

Like Yahtzee said, Sonic Team just got it into their thick skulls that most Sonic fans want to play games about Sonic, especially after a game NAMED 'Sonic the Hedgehog' where only a third of the game was dedicated to playing the blue hedgie. Don't encourage them to go back to their old ways.


Edit:

Yeah, Shadow the Hedgehog had GREAT ideas like...

Guns that CAN NOT aim.
Vehicles SLOWER than he runs.
A voice cast that makes one envy those who can't understand English.
A plot so laughibly bad it makes the original Sonic plot (when it was about animals stuck in robots) look like Shakespeare.
A good/evil spectrum that's more about SLOWING you down to item hunt than maybe RUNNING.
And an overall failure at trying to be both edgy and child-friendly, which the orignal series invented.

Oh, you forgot the part about how minions of EVERY faction will try to kill you regardless of your affiliation! It was an especially wonderful idea to make the faction leaders criticize you for defending yourself against their minions that try to kill you, despite the fact that you're supposed to be their ally. Every game with an alignment system should have this feature!

 

[xButton]

I disagree with you Mr. Croshaw. Sonic himself does not suck because he's an old franchise, Sonic Unleashed sucks because it's a bad game. If they made a Sonic game for todays systems that utilized all of the elements that made Sonic great in the days of Genesis, not the stuff in Unleashed that was awful, it would make for a great game. In summation, old franchises don't suck, crappy games suck.

 

[nick2150]

see, I really think the game is alright. I think the warehog sections are bad, the platforming sections could be improved with a more appropriate camera, simple fixed position cameras = for the suck.

The hub worlds while alot of effort has been put into them come off as a little flat (though remind me quite alot of Skys)

The fast sections capture speed like no other game ive ever played. They tend not to provide instant gratification (which I think is Yahtzee's main issue and is why he prefers the Man pig sections). Once you learn a level you feel unstoppable, and I find it quite fun to do that. I just find the day sections really fun.

Also on a non-sonic note does it bug anyone else that the first 3 pages on any video tend to be just agreeing with everything said in the review regardless of what?s the video is about (best example mail bag showdown where he told everyone who didnt agree with him to basically suck his big British balls)?

 

[akamoron]

The PS2 version was OK.
Also, I agree (as much as it pains me to say it): Sonic is dead

If Sonic Team really wants to "re-invent the series," they should go back to the old Sonic Adventure format (without all the stupid side missions).
Or, better yet, actually make a true 3D side scroller featuring just Sonic; no Tails, no Shadow, just Sonic.

 

[Vlane]

The PS2 version was OK.
Also, I agree (as much as it pains me to say it): Sonic is dead

If Sonic Team really wants to "re-invent the series," they should go back to the old Sonic Adventure format (without all the stupid side missions).
Or, better yet, actually make a true 3D side scroller featuring just Sonic; no Tails, no Shadow, just Sonic.

A true 3D side scroller? That's not even possible. Side scroller's are 2D only.

 

[the cat]

Your lack of intel prohibits you from understanding any level of game play. Your evaluations are like watching the special Olympics, its entertaining for the first few minutes, but ultimately you feel bad for their lack of motor skills. Knowing that, how the fuck do you think you are capable of evaluating anything. Your quick knee jerk and bias reaction leaves you in dumb ass Zelda 2D game play. What, you think your red spider potion is going to make things seem more believable? However, I do know what would be more helpful. Stop playing the fuckin game! Suck my little blue balls. On a positive note, I like your sense of humor.

 

[REvolve]

I quite liked this game, though I've liked a fair few of the 3D sonic games, so I'm in the minority. I really didn't find it that difficult either (though I will give that the village parts were completely pointless). Was quite fun to watch someone rant about it though, good work .

 

[deathkill2]

this game is terrible if i created this game i would have committed suicide. first of all why the hell sonic would turn into a freaking wolf it makes know sense. what next sonic turn emo. i believe Wat Yahtzee says is true sonic is dead so stop buying the game or the devolpers will just keep on making.

 

[cartooner2008]

I quite liked this game, though I've liked a fair few of the 3D sonic games, so I'm in the minority. I really didn't find it that difficult either (though I will give that the village parts were completely pointless). Was quite fun to watch someone rant about it though, good work .

I will also say that I too enjoyed Sonic Unleashed. In fact, it's my favorite 3D Sonic game yet (and before anyone asks, yes, I have played the Sonic Adventure games).

 

[dunnace]

This, is why Sonic is still alive. You people who are fans of him just can't fucking let go, can you? Seriously, how fucking low do your expectations have to be to like Sonic Heroes?

Oh, sorry, I happened to think I had an opinion! Obviously not! And FYI, I had no hype for Sonic Heroes, I found it for £10 in Woolworths about 3 years ago and bought it on a whim, and I really liked it. Sure, it was flawed, but fun. I'd give it 8, it was simple and enjoyable, the closest Sonic has come to being good in 3d.

And you know what, fuck you. Even if you don't like Sonic, why should you not let other people who do like it play it? Enjoy Sanityville USA, it's full of pricks like you.

 

[Zetona]

This may have been his most negative review yet. I don't think he's ever reviewed a game so bad that he can't derive some masochistic enjoyment from it before.

 

[the cat]

We mock what we don't understand.

 

[Bootkiller]

I thought it was rather entertaining and believe it had good points outlining Sonic's career. What I found interesting about this review is that Yahtzee thought the WereHog portions were the best part of the game whereas every other game critic felt the WereHog levels were the worst part of the game.

Well, If you tend to notice, most reviewers other than Yahtzee Croshaw have a completely different mindset, usually that of a kiss-ass. Besides, I played (let me make this clear: rented, not bought) Sonic Unleashed, and I also think the night was better than the day. It's the closest I've come to playing a good Sonic game in a long time.

The PS2 version was OK.
Also, I agree (as much as it pains me to say it): Sonic is dead

If Sonic Team really wants to "re-invent the series," they should go back to the old Sonic Adventure format (without all the stupid side missions).
Or, better yet, actually make a true 3D side scroller featuring just Sonic; no Tails, no Shadow, just Sonic.

A true 3D side scroller? That's not even possible. Side scroller's are 2D only.

What about a fake 3D, where the characters are 3D, but Sonic can only move up, down, left and right? They've done that before. Don't be so quick to correct people without doing the research.

I disagree with you Mr. Croshaw. Sonic himself does not suck because he's an old franchise, Sonic Unleashed sucks because it's a bad game. If they made a Sonic game for todays systems that utilized all of the elements that made Sonic great in the days of Genesis, not the stuff in Unleashed that was awful, it would make for a great game. In summation, old franchises don't suck, crappy games suck.

But we're not talking about the old franchises. we're talking about now, and how all of the current games suck a lot. The old franchises aren't going to matter if the current one goes bankrupt due to its stupid games. Yeah, if they made a Sonic game in this decade that had all of the old and good elements, and didn't add any horrendously bad "new" characters (I'm talking to whoever devised "Chip," you waste of life), it would be awesome. But they haven't been listening to anyone out here on the forums, possibly because they have materialized failure shoved into their eyes and ears, and don't know what the people actually want.

 

[Cendoo]

I liked the game

 

[MiyaKome]

Like the MGS4 review, this one is flawed with the fact that he didn't like the game to begin with. He picked it apart for the sole purpose of picking it apart, which isn't so much of a review as it is a huge complaint over the fact that Sonic doesn't tickle his fancy.

The game, while very light and somewhat cheesy, is, overall, enjoyable.

His section of the day levels are completely false as they're the obvious highlight of the game. As others have said, it captures speed nearly perfectly. There is virtually no loss of frame rate as you fly across the screen, and is, essentially, a perfect 3D rendition of what the old Genesis games would have been. You can even go so fast that the music can't always catch up with you, it's fantastic.

As for random spikes and pitfalls popping up? Yeah. They exist. But guess what? EVERY Sonic game had random traps and launch pads that were meant to make you lose your rings and/or life.

Though, perhaps the horribly biased and unprofessional review is due to the fact that he was butthurt over constantly obtaining E's on his first run of a level.

It had a few laughs, but seemed to mostly be a review of Sonic's 3D history over the past few years rather than of JUST this game. YES, Sonic's games after Adventure have been complete and utter balls. I myself refused to play any and all Sonic games from the Playstation era on up. This one, however, is an actual good time. I highly recommend anyone who saw this review to actually rent the game and forge their own opinions before going along with Yahtzee.

 

[satanrules]

Sonic has eaten shit since the Sega CD version. Don't tell that to the gang of retarded assholes over at Sonic-Cult.org though, they'll hack your pc, steal your credit cards and put pictures of penii and boobies on your website.

Oh yah, great review. Spot on.

 

[angel85]

Another hilarious review, even though I liked the game I can't disagree with anything he said about it...for the Xbox 360 or PS3 version. But he used the box art for the Wii version, I'm not saying he would have liked the Wii version but I will say that everything he said was bad about this game is a non-issue in it. There are no quick time events during the werehog fights (except for one boss fight, and cocking it up only means you deal LESS damage, not increase its health.) There is no pointless gameplay lengthening hub world with the Tornado travel (basically a 7 minute long quick time event based on video I saw on youtube,) and no running around a city searching for a mission hub; you only need to highlight the right NPC on a picture and he'll reveal the temple, it takes about 2 minutes, once you get to the temple you can walk through the door to the action stages with no problem, there is no "you need x amount of coins to advance" bullcrap. The hedgehog stages do not arbitrarily kill you for not moving at the beginning and there are no spike pits that come out of nowhere, I can only imagine the Wii version removed all of the frustratingly difficult levels and left the fun ones in. The only thing in this review that actually applies to the Wii version is the lives system, especially since you can only attain extra lives by going through the secret doors in the temples.

What I'm trying to say is most people ignore the Wii and PS2 versions of this game because they think it's a stripped down version of the 360/PS3 version. I like to think of the 360/PS3 versions as the Wii version with a bunch of needless fluff added. Imagine the Wii version is your car, it gets nice mileage and handles quite well, the 360/PS3 version is the same car with a hotrod paint job, spinning rims, hydraulics, and a $5000 dollar stereo system that will shatter the windows if turned up more than 1/4 of the way. Sure the latter LOOKS cool, but all that stuff adds to its weight so it now gets 10 miles to the gallon and handles on the road like a shopping cart full of BRICKS. Speaking of which the tarted up version of the game experiences framerate drops below 30fps because it can't render those pretty graphics Sony and Microsoft are so proud of at the speed Sonic moves at, the slightly less graphics heavy Wii version experiences no such slowdown.

 

[drkotaku]

.

Yes Yahtzee the Wii version sucks! Thats because it's the only version not running on the new hedgehog engine!
Go play the spankingly ace 360 or ps3 versions!

You mean the "spankingly ace" versions that are receiving worse reviews than the Wii version?

It's ridiculous the reviews for sonic, its proving the old quote 'Dont judge a book by its cover' farrrrrr too often.

Granted it's a challenge, but its fun and refreshing (especially when compared with other games) I find it hard to understand how broken terrible clones such as 'hitman blood money' on the 360 can get great reviews just because of its name and sonic can only get terrible because of the name...

 

[MiyaKome]

Actually, the main reason why the Wii version is getting higher reviews is because it has fewer spoken cutscenes, which made the game "less annoying," which is complete bullshit considering it doesn't have as many playable levels as the PS3/360 versions. But then again, every time a new GTA game comes out it always receives a perfect score, so I've stopped trusting reviewers other than myself for quite a few years now.

 

[cartooner2008]

Actually, the main reason why the Wii version is getting higher reviews is because it has fewer spoken cutscenes, which made the game "less annoying," which is complete bullshit considering it doesn't have as many playable levels as the PS3/360 versions. But then again, every time a new GTA game comes out it always receives a perfect score, so I've stopped trusting reviewers other than myself for quite a few years now.

I think another reason why the Wii version has better reviews is because the hub worlds are just point-and-click.