Zero Punctuation: Splinter Cell: Conviction

[Yahtzee Croshaw]

Turns out that the Princess was in another castle...

If I ever hated reading something... it was that... over and over and over; nice doing.

 

[DA GOD A CRUNK]

Godd review but i do disagree i like the game makes me feel kinda like an action hero in some ways besides whats wrong with killing all the bad guys anyway?

 

[e2density]

Yesterday I said to myself, "Hmm...I hope Yahtzee reviews Splinter Cell Conviction."

 

[Cucipher]

Funny review! Made some great points - not least of which is the enemies AI and speech routines, which was always a bug bear for me.

I personally dont find that the automation of the mark and execute mechanic is a bad thing - just a different approach to taking down multiple enemies. Loads of games coming out have this type of idea but its presented in "bullet time/focus mode" type excecution, which is kind of old hat. For me M+E is just an evolution of that, closer to Fallout 3's VATS system though.

The insta-kills automation is indeed a bit too uninteractive, but I suppose the focus was to keep a fast pace during the game. Though, I played older splinter cell titles with awful controls for things like taking an enemy hostage etc - hopefully there'll be a happy medium reached soon.

 

[no one really]

Great review! Ugh, can't wait for the book...

 

[Boba Frag]

I for one, adore the Spinter Cell series.

Imagine my surprise and bewilderment when it seemed like Ubisoft seemed to forget it was supposedly doing Splinter Cell, and switched to doing 24- The Extra Silly plot.
I don't get the fascination with assaulting the White House, like you pointed out.

I'll be honest, it was a disappointment. Despite claims by the liars from marketing, I feel like , like you, that I was controlling Sam even less than in other games. The execute system was interesting, but kind of distracted from the real fun of these games; the fact that you can dangle your balls into a goon's coffee from the shadows and get away with it if you're skilled enough. And if you're not? You knife him in the throat, like I did many, many times in Chaos Theory.
Still my favourite SC game... of course I really enjoyed Pandora tomorrow.

Is it me, or are the single player campaigns in games getting way too short lately?

Thanks again for shining the cold light of criticism where I feared to tread, O Yahtzee

 

[RobCoxxy]

I dunno about the rest of you, but I loved Chaos Theory. Who cares if it was linear, it added challenge an open map might have removed. Meaning you had to sneak around, learn guard's movement patterns, look for cameras in each room before moving. It was awesome. And I got most of the way through the game without killing anyone. Avoiding the temptation of pulling people off of lighthouses or throwing them off rooftops at certain points...

 

[Boba Frag]

First of all it wasn't 'Christians' that got upset about that. It was the bishop of the catholic church overseeing that cathedral. Which is to say a handful of powerful Catholics, not all of Christendom. Please don't be bigoted and lump us all together.

Though these may all be fine nations indeed they are not political or military superpowers and without sounding callous if you told someone that a megalomaniac had gotten the keys to Luxembourg's bomb cabinet I think you'd hear from most of the world populous a resounding 'so?'

Very good point, glad someone made a distinction there. I for one have seldom agreed with any bishop's stance on , well, anything. But enough of that- to Luxembourg!

If someone took over Luxembourg, they'd probably last about 30 minutes. That's about the time that it would take either the Belgians, the French or the Germans, or a combination of all three to knock on the door and ask if any sane Belgians would like them to lend a hand in getting their country back.

Good ole security EU cooperation tends to deter things like that

Also- anyone else enjoy blowing out the Vice president's knees in Conviction? Seemed like a typically Sam Fisher way of "securing" a hostile VIP
Laughed my arse off at that part

 

[reaperman22]

I've only played a couple of splinter cell games but i have to agree, i just couldn't get into them whereas i have only played one hitman game and loved the thing even if i did only manage to do one mission stealthy and for the rest of them by the end of it i would be running away shooting erratically.

 

[kaboose25]

this was a hilarious review i just wish you had gotten the health care bill right its not free health care its our grand government forcing us to buy health care if it was free health care i would jump on it like a bog on a scrap of bacon that was just dropped form the breakfast table

 

[The Iconnorclast]

Good review.

Now excuse me I have to go pre-order Yahtzee's novel on Amazon.com or Amazon.com.uk

 

[AceDiamond]

Good review but I have to point out one thing. Mario 3 had no ability to save your progress (not counting remakes). That is why the whistle exists and why earlier Mario games had warp zones. They serve as a way to allow people to try and pick up from where they left off without forcing them to redo everything.

this was a hilarious review i just wish you had gotten the health care bill right its not free health care its our grand government forcing us to buy health care if it was free health care i would jump on it like a bog on a scrap of bacon that was just dropped form the breakfast table

Yes but they were trying to give us 'free' healthcare to begin with and the people didn't want it because they are idiots and thought 'free' healthcare meant 'kill the elderly'; so now we all have to have healthcare (which really is the first step because the insurance companies didn't want people waiting until they were sick to get healthcare).

 

[Steiwnay]

I really enjoyed the first three games, although I agree with pretty much everything he's said about Conviction.

I'd just like to point out that in CT several levels gave you "The option to go in the front door, back door, or sneak down the chimney," and in most levels of SC1 through CT you could play through without killing people.

This game takes away all of that and encourages you to play it like a shooter instead of sneaking around trying to avoid detection. The story (and the way it's presented) is just a complete ripoff of 24.

That said, Hitman and Thief are still way better stealth games.

 

[MasterSplinter]

I love the TMNT joke about master splinter

Heh, me too. And i didn't at all took it personal or anything.

I had the same idea of the white house knowledge from games but i was thinking more on the lines of being a tour guide or something.

 

[FallenMessiah88]

Am i the only ones whos missing some more challenge in games today other than playing on a higher diffculty? Anyways genius review. Yathzee always makes me laugh even at 1:15 in the morning.

 

[Mr. Eff_v1legacy]

I agree mostly, but I still think it's a fun game and does the stealth pretty well. I thought the lighting was a nice touch. It adds a sense of urgency when you slip into the light and the screen changes colour.

However, I'm not sure how long it will take me to get back to playing it, seeing as my file has been erased 2 fucking times. I really don't feel like doing the intro again.

 

[jayedub7423]

What a surprise, another review with hate towards America. Maybe the Mana Bar will be so successful that you will finally be able to put ZP out of its misery.

 

[TheChickThatKnows]

Hey Yahtzee (I hope I spelled it right), when you do your rating and ranting on video games could you/would you/should you please at least if your going fill-in on what the game is about please add more detail. I don't mean to flatter you, but you really do a great job, it's hard for people to criticize games and give their own opinion (like how well you do...crap I complimented you!) because their head is so chalk full of just playing it and not realizing how bad it really is! BUT, if you could, add some more detail on what the games plot and story line is instead of badgering on how awful it is (even though that's your job).

Sincerely, TheChickThatKnows

 

[Redratson]

I have Conviction and I thought it was all rite it did seem a bit easy and a bit short and the multiplayer in my opinion was a bit solid.