Zero Punctuation: Splinter Cell: Conviction
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
What did I take away from this review... That Yahtzee has a problem urinating, in all my life I don't think I've ever had drops of pee dribble down my leg... Maybe it's a technique thing.
Favorite part, "Nice Horsey."
I"m sure we'll have some people along here fairly shortly complaining that they can't tell if he liked the game or not, when I'm pretty sure the only compliment he gave the game during the entire review was how he liked how you could hold down a button to stay in cover.
I"m sure we'll have some people along here fairly shortly complaining that they can't tell if he liked the game or not, when I'm pretty sure the only compliment he gave the game during the entire review was how he liked how you could hold down a button to stay in cover.
It's a legitimate question... I've lurked around here for a while. I've seen some posts "HURR DURR I AM FIRSTANDBEST" that deserve to get yoinked...Vault boy Eddie said:
But there are others that were right in line with other posts.. "I liked this review and that part where etc etc was funny..." they get pulled (or worse) for being posted too early. Maybe they hit the site right at noon eastern and skipped the credits?
All I'm asking is, if there's a rule that all posts before 12:05 are pulled, why not lock the thread? And yes, I waited until I could post in the first 5 minutes on a Wednesday to make my point... hurr durr...
It seems like we're stuck trying to make supposedly hyper-competent characters do their hyper-competent thing without taking all autonomy away from the player.
The things Sam Fisher does seem like things a very good marksman who's shooting at people who don't know he's there ought to be able to do; it's just that it's hard to make him do those things within the usual limited field of vision offered by most video games, and harder to make him do them while twiddling a crosshair with a thumbstick.
So we have the annoyances of auto-aim, or the annoyances of manual-aim, and now- yippee!- we have a whole new category of annoyances.
Loved "...that viciously savages you every time you try to give it free health care", by the way.
The things Sam Fisher does seem like things a very good marksman who's shooting at people who don't know he's there ought to be able to do; it's just that it's hard to make him do those things within the usual limited field of vision offered by most video games, and harder to make him do them while twiddling a crosshair with a thumbstick.
So we have the annoyances of auto-aim, or the annoyances of manual-aim, and now- yippee!- we have a whole new category of annoyances.
Loved "...that viciously savages you every time you try to give it free health care", by the way.
I have to agree with everything Yahtzee said about this game. The splinter cell series can suck my rancid, hairy, sweaty, salty, man balls. I do NOT want my hand held thank-you very fucking much. Change the game-play to something more like Thief or Hitman series and I'd give it a go. Other than that it can sit in a pool of my own urine. Cause I've just PISSED ALL OVER IT!
I think this episode was more professional than most of your episodes.
I like how you kept a step back and said "I don't know why I don't like Splinter Cell" suggesting that the gameplay in itself might not be so horrible. And the rest of your arguments were fairly sound in my opinion.
I liked this one and not by its humor.
I like how you kept a step back and said "I don't know why I don't like Splinter Cell" suggesting that the gameplay in itself might not be so horrible. And the rest of your arguments were fairly sound in my opinion.
I liked this one and not by its humor.
