Zero Punctuation: Splinter Cell: Conviction

[FoolKiller]

It is so sad that my favourite video game franchise has become so weak.

I love the first Splinter Cell and Chaos Theory. That was where the real stealth occurred and you had to be clever but had options to kill or not to kill.

Conviction was all about killing lots of people.

The review amused me but missed out on the two key things that irritated me the most:
1. You can no longer move bodies around. This was one of the main stealth aspects of Splinter Cell up until now.

2. The save system blows. Terribly. It's worse than the one in Dead Rising.

 

[DrTrevelyan]

I liked the game, but you're review was pretty spot on.

Oh, and can there be one review where you don't take time out to go, "America sucks and all Americans are retarded nazis"

 

[Quorothorn]

...

The review amused me but missed out on the two key things that irritated me the most:
1. You can no longer move bodies around. This was one of the main stealth aspects of Splinter Cell up until now.
...

Really? I'm surprised they'd remove a feature like that at this stage. I mean, Assassin's Creed II ADDED that feature when it wasn't in Screed 1. I'm honestly perplexed by this and can see why you'd be irritated.

 

[KingPiccolOwned]

Meh. This one was entertaining, but not necessarily that funny. I guess that most of that comes from being hung-up on this part: O:41. (To comment on that bit, though: Damn straight we will.)

 

[Joabbuac]

agreed with everything Yahtzee on this one

 

[KingPiccolOwned]

Wow Yahtzee, you're really cool shamelessly bashing the country that most of your viewers are from. It doesn't help that the people from here pay you to make these videos too. And then you actually have the balls to flash an advertisement of your book at the end.

We get it. You don't like America. You don't have to keep repeating it to all of your viewers in every video you make. Keep your political bias out of your videos. All it does is alienate viewers.

Self comedy is good for you. noone complained when southpark made fun of finland either

Yeah, normally that'd be true, but personally I'd have to agree with Durian here. Even I usually get a laugh out of the times when he does that stuff, like constantly portraying Americans with cowboy hats, or what have you, but here it didn't really seem funny.

 

[TheECP]

I didn't even realise that there was a new splinter cell, they're like Guitar hero's now...

Well not like I ever cared for them anyway, great review. Lol'd at the last line.

No they aren't...There hasn't been a new splinter cell in like 4 years.

Awesome review, you make good points but I still adore this game, it's simply fun.

 

[SpecklePattern]

I have always liked splinter series but every version that I have played has some sort of problems. In my view all of the splinters have been released half done what comes to the coding. Last one that stopped my splinter experiences was the double agent. The hacking device-thingy... well I never saw the textures of the hacking device = useless game that I cannot play.

And that AI of splinter(s)... ... I just agree. Yahtzee has said it: it is hard to program any AI, but all this shooting and saying after 5 seconds "must be my imagination" is so much seen on games. But it would kinda suck donky kong balls if the AI really hunted you down if they see you, or would it now? I hate "sneaking" games that don't allow that option through the entire game.

Most funniest thing still is the three bright glowing green lights on the guys head... How can you not see him AI???

Also it would be nice to see like italians and spanish fighting (to save the world). Put that to ANY game. I am waiting something like that just to hear the arguments and general dialogs of any of the guards (even without subtitles).

 

[Uncle_Brainhorn]

The America insult was a bit done a bit sloppy. Felt pretty tacked on. But the rest of the review was great.

 

[TheECP]

I also have to note I find it amusing and slightly annoying how much you insult America when you know a good portion of your viewers are indeed American. At least you insulted Canada this time too, haha.

 

[SpecklePattern]

Another episode of Zero Punctuation!! I was glad I ... P.S. How the FUCK could you like Hitman: Blood Money?!? That game was an utter embarrassment IMO. (don't ban me!)

Hmm. Interesting. I was actually thinking: how does it differ from the previous ones? I have played them all and Blood Money was mostly the same thing than previous ones. Blood bath or sneaking and mostly very playable.

Ps. Eight hours of car? That is ridiculous amount of sitting in a car. :/ Feel sorry for you.

 

[Norik]

I live in Montreal.
People here are retards.
Spot on, Yahtzee.

 

[WaderiAAA]

I'm glad he made such a nuanced review on it

 

[Ewyx]

Heheh... like that little nudge to Braid in the middle of it, also, we've seen references to hitman games before, but now it's finally official that Yahtzee actually likes them.

 

[blacklab]

wow, extra bitter. this game must truly suck ass.

 

[AMMO Kid]

I've been a Splinter Cell fan since the first one came out all those years ago...but yes I do agree with lots of what you said there

 

[Andronicus]

I assume the next Extra Punctuation will be on Stealth, then?

 

[Orcus The Ultimate]

lucky i didn't buy it, or the console either lol ! XD

 

[Milenkov]

Your reviews are always very amusing, haha.
any chance of reviewing Metro 2033 at some point?

 

[Archtype]

Wow Yahtzee, you're really cool shamelessly bashing the country that most of your viewers are from. It doesn't help that the people from here pay you to make these videos too. And then you actually have the balls to flash an advertisement of your book at the end.

We get it. You don't like America. You don't have to keep repeating it to all of your viewers in every video you make. Keep your political bias out of your videos. All it does is alienate viewers.

Yeah no kidding. What a childish analogy. I mean... you do realize that you are endlessly bashing the country that not only gives you a better job....but basically funds a vast majority of the worlds economy.

Not to mention that every time a new problem arises everyone is always quite eager to dump it into America's lap and then immediately begin dissing it for taking on the responsibility. What a joke.

It is ok to resent a country for succeeding I suppose....free speech and all that....but it doesn't make it any less childish and petty.