Zero Punctuation: Super Paper Mario
- Thread starter Yahtzee Croshaw
- Start date
Dont forget FF4 or FF6 they were the last great FFs the equipment and skills systems made them so damn much fun FF8+ with the exception of 9 were so so to blargh.Arbre said:
I miss pulling off fun off the wall attacks and using equipment as spells screw balance when its OTT and bent to grind....
Super Paper Mario was a fucking horrible game. I played it beginning to end (in the span of a single rental, to get some use out of my Wii, as said in the review) and I have to say I quite hated every second of it.
While it's an interesting take on action RPGs (as in, you fight enemies real-time in the overworld without going into a separate turn-based battle screen) the whole thing just felt really boring, like, even the big boss battles. Even the final boss went out with a pathetic whimper. None of them have any "pop" or "flash" to them, all it takes to beat them is just using Bowser's fire breath and butt stomps till they die, and the combat feels anticlimactic and weak as hell. That's not my main issue with the game, though.
My main qualm with the game is that the entire thing, top to bottom, is waaaaaay too fanservicey... like all Mario games have been since Sunshine. From the 4chan-browsing nerd chameleon to the tiresome self-referential humor, it was just really painful for me to play this game due to the contrived writing that keeps trying to roast itself alive while not being original or funny at all without resorting to lame inside humor that'll fly over the heads of anyone who isn't a mouth-breathing Nintentard. Alright, I get it, I know you've been around since the 1980s you fat piece of shit. Yeah, great, this is how you looked when you were pixellated on the NES. Oh look, Luigi gets shafted for the billionth time and jokes are made about it, har har that never gets old! JESUS CHRIST WILL YOU IDIOTS JUST FUCKING MOVE ON AS A SERIES ALREADY? AND STOP FUCKING REMIXING SMB MUSIC, YOU LAZY FUCKS. I'M SO TIRED OF HEARING THAT SHIT THAT EVERY TIME I HEAR IT I WANT TO TAKE AN ELECTRIC SAW TO MY EARS.
In addition to all this, the storyline just sucks my ass. It's just contrived from beginning to end. They try to tie it all together with a really pretentious attempt at a dramatic love story, but it'll only be dramatic to 10 year olds and deluded wiitards who think everything Nintendo does is God. This game is a giant hunk of cheese.
While it's an interesting take on action RPGs (as in, you fight enemies real-time in the overworld without going into a separate turn-based battle screen) the whole thing just felt really boring, like, even the big boss battles. Even the final boss went out with a pathetic whimper. None of them have any "pop" or "flash" to them, all it takes to beat them is just using Bowser's fire breath and butt stomps till they die, and the combat feels anticlimactic and weak as hell. That's not my main issue with the game, though.
My main qualm with the game is that the entire thing, top to bottom, is waaaaaay too fanservicey... like all Mario games have been since Sunshine. From the 4chan-browsing nerd chameleon to the tiresome self-referential humor, it was just really painful for me to play this game due to the contrived writing that keeps trying to roast itself alive while not being original or funny at all without resorting to lame inside humor that'll fly over the heads of anyone who isn't a mouth-breathing Nintentard. Alright, I get it, I know you've been around since the 1980s you fat piece of shit. Yeah, great, this is how you looked when you were pixellated on the NES. Oh look, Luigi gets shafted for the billionth time and jokes are made about it, har har that never gets old! JESUS CHRIST WILL YOU IDIOTS JUST FUCKING MOVE ON AS A SERIES ALREADY? AND STOP FUCKING REMIXING SMB MUSIC, YOU LAZY FUCKS. I'M SO TIRED OF HEARING THAT SHIT THAT EVERY TIME I HEAR IT I WANT TO TAKE AN ELECTRIC SAW TO MY EARS.
In addition to all this, the storyline just sucks my ass. It's just contrived from beginning to end. They try to tie it all together with a really pretentious attempt at a dramatic love story, but it'll only be dramatic to 10 year olds and deluded wiitards who think everything Nintendo does is God. This game is a giant hunk of cheese.
fan service?PsychoJosh said:
If the fans are mushroom smoking aliens then maybe,I didn't like Martio 64 because the powerups blew,sunshine is just gettign away from how I want Mario to be, plus it was a bit..unbalanced the non optional super jump zones killed it for me,its like piss easy or sitting in acidic demonic urine,dosent look like galaxy is going to be "better", why is it so hard to take mario world or SMB3 and make it 3D mix the combat of 64 with the powerups of SMB3...oh god yes theres some fan service uh huh *drools* but anyway the last good mario RPG was the one Square helped them with, paper mario should only be used on the throne ......
I don't mind the tolite humor just the combination of it all just...blagh
The game was a pretty major letdown for me. Not quite up there with Halo 2, but still a stinger. The combat and platforming were on the wrong side of meh.
My friend, I think your reviews are nothing short of comedy genius.. mark that COMEDY GENIUS. If you haven't seen it before I recommend you watching anything by a British "comedy terrorist" called Chris Morris. It might be right up your alley, pardon the expression. Specifically Brass Eye... It is however completely game unrelated... sorry, though I hope that won't spoil your enjoyment of it.
And by the way, have you noticed how everyone in these threads are now completely, and totally mimicking your style of prose in a half hearted attempt to try to be cool and withit, by which I mean a retarded, bandwagon jumping, faceless fashion victim. I obviously include myself among those hoards however I secretly believe I might be the best at it..mmmmmmmmaybe not then
You know what really worries me? Although i think the reviews are primarily aimed at being funny rather than informative - and they succeed with full marks on that front - they are infact the most believable reviews i have found on the net.
Or maybe i just feel like a kindred spirit...
Or maybe i just feel like a kindred spirit...
Funny,
But Metroid Prime 3 doesn't have anything close to a "parallel universe" or a Light VS Dark.
But Metroid Prime 3 doesn't have anything close to a "parallel universe" or a Light VS Dark.
Most reviewers are petrified of criticizing popular titles. It's now the "in" thing to have severe backlash against anyone that dares point out obvious flaws in the 'hottest' titles. Be glad that yahtzee does not give scores to accompany the reviews. It would be incredibly difficult to weed through all the sludge in Zero Punctuation topics in order to find and intelligent post that isn't mocking Yahtzee without merit.Lightbulb said:
I have to agree that these are the most genuinely actual reviews I have ever read. Mind you, a review of that nature is one that, as such, can be disagreed with meaningfully, where as the review at your typical reviewing is basically "OMG, check out the graphics!", which may or may not be true, but presupposes a certain preoccupation with the polygon count that is not always true. What I enjoy about Yahtzee is that while I may or may not agree with him, its clear he's *trying* to engage the game on its terms, and reviewing it as a *game*, rather than a graphics demonstration, and that he is not so easily wowed by fads. That, these days, is unfortunetly a precious and rare quality to be prized.
The JRPGs that revolve around that mashing style of combat can be repetitive, yes, but most modern ones seem to have evolved over time and employed combat that is more involved (Digital Devil Saga, for one). Then there's the Action RPGs, which I personally like more, but they can feel repetitive as well if the difficulty is too low. If one of these games manages to get it right, I find it can be more engaging than most other games. JRPGs as a whole, though, are usually either hit or miss. For Yahtzee, it seems to be a miss, but I suppose a large amount of genres can become misses for reviewers who are forced to play through and beat the bad ones. I guess when FFXIII comes out and Yahtzee has to review it, we'll see a little more backstory from this side of him.