Zero Punctuation: Super Smash Bros. Brawl

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dungeonmaster

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Apr 30, 2008
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seriously like 1200 comments
wow yatzee what have you done, you may just crash the internet going against the status quo.
Like seriously what have you done?!



:D!
 

MrSod

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Oct 6, 2007
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Ultrajoe said:
MrSod said:
Maybe Yahtzee can review our 3 presidential candidates (in the U.S.)
Or maybe he could take a tesla coil covered in Whale semen and rape my throat with it, same result.

wow, that was sudden even for me, i apologize, beg your forgiveness and finish by saying that the only thing less interesting than the results of the U.S election is watching paint dry on the acting talent of Hayden Christensen.
And yet- I bet Yahtzee could make it really hilarious.
 

Ultrajoe

Omnichairman
Apr 24, 2008
4,719
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MrSod said:
Ultrajoe said:
MrSod said:
Maybe Yahtzee can review our 3 presidential candidates (in the U.S.)
Or maybe he could take a tesla coil covered in Whale semen and rape my throat with it, same result.

wow, that was sudden even for me, i apologize, beg your forgiveness and finish by saying that the only thing less interesting than the results of the U.S election is watching paint dry on the acting talent of Hayden Christensen.
And yet- I bet Yahtzee could make it really hilarious.
ok, not to subscribe to the 'Yahtzee = messiah' mentality, but if he has the talent to make me give a crap about that election why would he waste it making me give a crap about said election. There are better things for someone to do with their time, like have intercourse or review GTA4.

once again, a bit harsh from me, but i really cant see this latest turn for events in the american political spectrum proving to be any more interesting than watching an old man's nipples become erect to a picture of Rosie O'donnel in a bodysuit

oh... mental image... my deepest apologies.
 

Yayap007

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May 10, 2008
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I tend to be the 'THAT Guy' out of my friend's. It's odd...I tend to use the 'High Roller' way of fighting (Picking a move that works and staying with it) due to the fact I do not own the systems they have (Wii, PS2 and so on) and yet I end up beating them.

One tend's to laugh and think it's amazing I can actually beat people at a Game I have no idea how to play many times over, while the other gradually gets more and more furious after every defeat and is soon trying to rip out my throat with his bare teeth. Me, I'm just plain happy to be playing.


While I've been watching ZP for a while now (My first video being Bioshock; which I found Extremely entertaining) I don't seem to understand why there is so much anger and hate here. I'm very suprised to see people take things like this to such a high level...It's the man's own opinion. Do you really, honestly think he'll change said opinion because you whine and dribble over the things he didn't review and how other's will veiw it? I'm not a fan-boy in general. I found the entire Super Smash Brothers franchise rather entertaining, seeing as it's become a basic tritual every New Years Eve at the Yapp007 home: 99x stock - 4 players - Food...From the original to brawl, the games just a fun time killer...but I would never go to this high of a degree over something as trivial as a videogame...

Has it been overrated? Oh yes indeed, but I believe Halo 3 took the entire bakery on that subject. The Camera were a bit glitchy at times and at first I had no idea it would take that long to unlock the characters....but I found the game amusing at the least. It does get rather boring after you play it many times over and seeing as I've had to invest in a cowl and a garlic necklace to play with my raging fanboy pal has also hampered my intrest in the game.

Any way you slice it, be you the Nintendo Fan-boy or the Yahtzee Fan-boy...It's about time to just accept that the man's badmouthed your game with his own opinion and stop adding salt to the wound when it comes to defending him. He already proved he can deftly handle the screaming masses himself.

As always, I adored the review, I eagerly await the next and hope things go (for the most part, but seeing as this is the Internet's) over well.

((I apologize for the grammar and Punctuation..It's late, I'm tired and the expresso high is wearing off...))
 

Jesus-tits-Christ

New member
May 11, 2008
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Ultrajoe said:
MrSod said:
Ultrajoe said:
MrSod said:
Maybe Yahtzee can review our 3 presidential candidates (in the U.S.)
Or maybe he could take a tesla coil covered in Whale semen and rape my throat with it, same result.

wow, that was sudden even for me, i apologize, beg your forgiveness and finish by saying that the only thing less interesting than the results of the U.S election is watching paint dry on the acting talent of Hayden Christensen.
And yet- I bet Yahtzee could make it really hilarious.
ok, not to subscribe to the 'Yahtzee = messiah' mentality, but if he has the talent to make me give a crap about that election why would he waste it making me give a crap about said election. There are better things for someone to do with their time, like have intercourse or review GTA4.

once again, a bit harsh from me, but i really cant see this latest turn for events in the american political spectrum proving to be any more interesting than watching an old man's nipples become erect to a picture of Rosie O'donnel in a bodysuit

oh... mental image... my deepest apologies.

did everyone here go to the "yahtzee imitators" school of grammar?
or are all game nerds just born with the same ideas of "how to talk funny"???
it's funny when he does it in one of these reviews, but when your comments are the same hairy-cock-sucking combination of aweful sexual hyperboles that he uses it becomes a bit repetitive...

see i did it.. and i'd do it again.. if i could be arsed
 

Jesus-tits-Christ

New member
May 11, 2008
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oh.. it's.. it's.. horrible..
you all manage to TYPE with an english accent... how the fuck do you TYPE with an accent? (rhetorical.. dont spend hours describing it to me..)
 

staffs

New member
May 12, 2008
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No, a lot of us are just not Americans, and as such know how to construct proper sentences... and spell colour correctly...

As for the long windedness and the frequent references to your mother's sexual misadventures, it's hardly Yahtzee specific. Penny Arcade and Hijinks Ensue spring to mind as obvious fonts of verbosity and dongs.
 

diocles777

New member
May 8, 2008
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Hilarious, absolutely glorious review. It's like the Internet was invented just for Yahtzee to come around. Your reviews are the most ingenious thing I've ever seen. Why can't any other game reviewers approach games with your subtle humor and total honesty?
 

EonEire

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Feb 7, 2008
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More people seemed upset about him bashing SSBB then Halo3 which was 1 thing I did not expect :S
 

staffs

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May 12, 2008
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EonEire said:
More people seemed upset about him bashing SSBB then Halo3 which was 1 thing I did not expect :S
Well Nintendo fanboys have been around a lot longer than their Xbox equivalents, and their years of bitter warfare with Sega fanboys in the 90s have made them a lot more fanatical.
 

liquidmetal

New member
Nov 12, 2007
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The only complaint I have about the review is that he didn't mention any of the really stupid shit that Nintendo did with Brawl. Instead of balancing characters by taking away gay moves and combos, they balanced it by giving every character something really gay. And then there's tripping. For those of you who haven't played it, there's a random chance that you'll trip and fall on your ass when you move left or right on the ground. Brilliant eh?

Personally, I like this series as well as Metroid, Mario, Zelda, and Mario Kart. Nintendo could keep producing new iterations of those games following the same structures and I'd be happy. Not because I'm an uber Nintendo fanboy, I just think those games are fun and don't need to be changed in the name of innovation. If you don't, that's fine and I hope you have fun with whatever games you enjoy.

Getting back to the point, I just wish there had been mention of the really retarded changes that were made to the SSB series with this installment. It was funny though. And that's all that really matters.
 

Lupie

New member
May 14, 2008
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I have to say, reading this thread made me so gleeful a little bit of wee came out.

Only a little bit, but nevertheless.
 

K.A.Z

New member
May 18, 2008
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Ive alwase wanted to see him review some really obscure game right when everyone thought he was about to review say... Grand Theft Auto 4
 

crimped

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Feb 3, 2008
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I don't buy games based on your review, but I do love your opinion! because it's the truth! I would love to hear your take on the new way to milk a game for money - downloadable content
 

Ultrajoe

Omnichairman
Apr 24, 2008
4,719
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Jesus-tits-Christ said:
Ultrajoe said:
MrSod said:
Ultrajoe said:
MrSod said:
Maybe Yahtzee can review our 3 presidential candidates (in the U.S.)
Or maybe he could take a tesla coil covered in Whale semen and rape my throat with it, same result.

wow, that was sudden even for me, i apologize, beg your forgiveness and finish by saying that the only thing less interesting than the results of the U.S election is watching paint dry on the acting talent of Hayden Christensen.
And yet- I bet Yahtzee could make it really hilarious.
ok, not to subscribe to the 'Yahtzee = messiah' mentality, but if he has the talent to make me give a crap about that election why would he waste it making me give a crap about said election. There are better things for someone to do with their time, like have intercourse or review GTA4.

once again, a bit harsh from me, but i really cant see this latest turn for events in the american political spectrum proving to be any more interesting than watching an old man's nipples become erect to a picture of Rosie O'donnel in a bodysuit

oh... mental image... my deepest apologies.

did everyone here go to the "yahtzee imitators" school of grammar?
or are all game nerds just born with the same ideas of "how to talk funny"???
it's funny when he does it in one of these reviews, but when your comments are the same hairy-cock-sucking combination of aweful sexual hyperboles that he uses it becomes a bit repetitive...

see i did it.. and i'd do it again.. if i could be arsed
i was planning on adding to this post to try and hit page 34 until i saw this...

why does anyone who attempts to use slightly eloquent converse get labeled as an imitator; stop breathing dude, That was my thing waaay before any of you.

But i am complimented that you singled me out as the example, i feel warm now.
 

fundude365

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Dec 12, 2007
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I wish I could go to Game Traders Robina... alas I live in the UK where the government shits all over you and expects you to pay money for the priviledge. Closest thing we have is Gamestation and that sucks a big fat hairy Donkey Face
 

KingSephiroth

New member
May 22, 2008
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I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that SSBB is unbelievably retarded. I never was a fan of the franchise. It sucks, as far as I'm concerned.
 

Wolfdemon59

New member
May 22, 2008
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My god i finally found someone who disagrees with this bloody game, I praise you now, your like god but i find Ronald mcdonald, George Carlin and my dick better than god of coarse so your like #3 on my list right behind George carlin and my dick. I don't even know why I'm writing this damn comment when the chances of you reading it is slim to none. But anyway everything you said in BOTH videos about brawl are 100% true. If theirs someone out their who disagrees with this, your one of the people that Yahtzee was talking about so you wouldn't understand a bloody thing cause someone is poking your brain to hard with a stick. The only reason why i wanted to try the game out was the non-nintendo characters but it still board me half to sleep with my pj's already on during lunch, but almost everything on this dull pointless planet boards me till the end of time until Emmet Brown comes along and changes time with entertainment.Life would be more fun if everyone lives on their own little planet and passes time thinking, and wacking off except making a bunch of colorful endless characters beat the tar out of each other,I still rather live on my own planet with nothing except my mind and dick. I still don't understand why Nintendo makes things like this, sure you get alot of money but they also start losing their will to live. Just like Disney adding all those girly teen crap to their lives, and not even remembering the names "Mickey Mouse" and "Walt Disney" before. Well anyway good video, keep telling the truth to the world even is she covers her ears and ignores you. At least you still got the people, like us who actually have a mind and listen.
 

The Sound Defense

New member
May 22, 2008
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I can't say I agree with the general diagnosis on this one. He certainly has more than enough valid criticisms, such as a repetitive story mode, and how unlockable characters are a terrible idea. In general, though, I think that Yahtzee falls into the audience defined as "the large group of people that Brawl just plain old isn't targeted towards", which includes most people in this thread. I find the mindlessness of it all rather engrossing, and what the core gameplay consists of is extremely well done if you're looking for that sort of thing.

What threw me was the comment about button mashing. No offense to many people here, but if you gather four people together who completely suck at Smash Bros, the best masher is definitely going to win. So far, though, I have never once seen a masher do well at all against a more experienced player.

As for being "that guy", that certainly applies to a two-player match (in all games), but I have data that proves otherwise in four-player matches. I went and gathered three other people who have never played Smash Bros before, or many games at all, really, and played against them in a Brawl. I won hands down, but this seemed to do extremely little to bother them, and they had a great time.

I think the key issue here is that Yahtzee just falls into a different crowd than what Smash Bros is aimed at, as I've said before. And it is this, of course, that makes a horde of delirious fanboys spam his mailbox with hatred, but in all honesty, anyone who flies into a rage over a Yahtzee review isn't worth that much to society.
 

The Sound Defense

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May 22, 2008
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liquidmetal said:
Getting back to the point, I just wish there had been mention of the really retarded changes that were made to the SSB series with this installment. It was funny though. And that's all that really matters.
I think addressing changes requires that you play the previous iterations first, which Yahtzee has not.