Zero Punctuation: The Witcher

Lance Icarus

New member
Oct 12, 2007
340
0
0
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Here I am wondering why that hilarious review was ending in the middle of the stream thinking to myself "Oh dear God, they didn't integrate the ads into the end of the bloody review did they?" Suddenly Intro Theater comes on and I'm laughing my ass off.

Long live Mr. 'Zee!
 

MinionOfCthulhu

New member
Jan 24, 2008
2
0
0
Did anyone else point out the irony that he mentions how The Witcher tries to make itself seem mature by having the characters curse up a storm and then after the review dub over a cutscene from Painkiller where that angel guy wants to suck off the boring Painkiller guy?
 

stacia123

New member
Nov 8, 2007
22
0
0
Caliostro said:
Almost every single RPG/MMORPG nowadays is made by copy pasting the exact same game code on diferent player and NPC models in diferent terrains, with diferent names
I have to agree with this, but I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. After a while I get frustrated with new RPGs and just go fire up the ol' Commodore 64 to play "Bards Tale II: The Destiny Knight"... until I realize that the loading time and lack of moving graphics will bore me even more. There's only so much you can do with a Mumorpuguh, ultimately, so I'll take a pretty one with lots of sex over a boring one with no bazooms.
 

Chis

New member
Nov 28, 2007
34
0
0
The Tingler said:
Chis said:
Another excellent review, convinced me not to bother with The Witcher and just give Fallout 2 and Planescape: Torment more time instead.
You realise he dislikes both of those games too? Check his website out. [http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/archive/20070814-1220.htm]
Fallout 2 is where? I only see this comment about Planescape Torment:
here the hell did you get the impression that I liked Planescape Torment? That, too, I found boring and couldn't get further than the first world

Which he deserves a kick up the arse for, but for now I'll let him off. No, I'm not an RPG fan, I hate the endless fetch questing that appears in most of them, but Fallout 2 has a fascinating world (but iffy combat), and Planescape Torment has - for a game - truly gobsmackingly intelligent writing.

Yes, I am one of those "willing to let iffy gameplay go by without complaints for the sake of the writing" types. See Bioshock.

Just don't put Baldur's Gate anywhere fucking near me, for the love of all things sane. How I loathe high fantasy...

fugori said:
...Troika were great big glowing exceptions
Is Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines an RPG? On a superficial level, perhaps. Surely even Yahtzee likes this game? It has its issues but the characters and writing are some of the most fascinating - and properly interesting - I've experienced in my gaming non-career. We're all very lucky - IMHO - that it was even released...
 

SomeBlackGuy

New member
Dec 24, 2007
23
0
0
I don't think anyones noticed that Yahtzee hates RPGs yet.

I mean he usually rags on everyone of them without giving them much (if any) praise.

So AFAIK, he doesn't have a say-so in which game he gets sent, which I feel sorry for him when he gets to review Halo 4-20 -_- (provided if he's still reviewing games by then.)

But to my point, i'm just saying you guys shouldn't take him so seriously. You guys act like he's this 1-5 star, 0-100 rating, "high class reviewer" and forget that he's just some average joe, adventure game maker, who writes articles sometimes.


The reason Yahtzees so popular is because he gives his honest, unique, usually funny, opinionated reviews, and doesn't "sell out" like other review websites (gamespot).

I mean he was like one of the few reviewers ever to actually rag on Halo, I never "got" Halo myself, I bought the first game and played the second at a friends house but I never understood why it was so popular, just seemed like any other FPS with a generic storyline.

Which hit home to me because it was so rare to see any reviewer say bad things about the "game to end all games".

Sorry for the long post and possible bad grammar, i'm usually a one sentence guy but I needed to back the guy up some, I just have this weird feeling he's going to quit because of the waves of fanboys and whiners who come complaining that his reviews aren't "professional" and he didn't give the game a "fair chance" and that the only way to "get into" said game is to <a href=http://content.pyzam.com/funnypics/misc/DoingItWrong6.jpg>play the game with a gerbil on your head, while eating oatmeal with your feet, and while your dad makes sexual advances towards you.
 

Rubberband

New member
Jan 23, 2008
3
0
0
The point I'm trying to make is that I admire Yahtzee's reviews for his piercing insight, all wrapped in delightfully tasty humour. Criticising an RPG for dialogue isn't insightful, it's ignorant and ruins my wood.

If every FPS review contained a criticism of having to shoot things, it would be the same thing.
 

Corbineau

New member
Nov 20, 2007
43
0
0
Alas. I can't tell if the cool thing at the moment is to lord about how Yahtzee is disappointing one horribly on any number of points (most of which seem to involve either failing to be funny, or failing to review), or to tongue his arse about how much win he is for winning at... well, funny, and/or reviewing.

Arse tonguing is a lot more fun, says I. But then, I rather don't expect to find every single video as floor-divingly hilarious as, say, the Medal of Honour Airborne one, which for entirely personal reasons delights me in the extreme.

See, sometimes, I disagree. That's what makes it a review. There's an opinion, you know, and sometimes you agree with it for the lulz, and sometimes you don't, and then there are less lulz. Oh well. Try again next week.

Oddly enough, I find that the games I know less about, the reviews are funnier. Except for Psychonauts and Bioshock. Holy hell, such awesome.

/tongue in cheek

/pun-evil.
 

Skitt

New member
Jun 27, 2004
11
0
0
I'm rather looking forward to playing the Witcher. Even after this, besides Yahtzee already told us he wouldn't praise video games anymore after his Psychonauts review. As fo the thing at the end with the painkiller, well for the most part I didn't get it. I must admit "20 minutes... outside... puffer fish." pulled at my funny strings quite a bit, it wasn't enough for me to believe the whole bit was good. So with that I wanna say that if Yahtzee wants to do something with Machanima I suggest it be more creative rather than focused on one scene and him voicing over. Just a thought though.
 

Aunt Wendy

New member
Jan 16, 2008
4
0
0
I feel the need to point out that the bit at the end was not machinima. It was Yahtzee revoicing the intro cinematic for The Witcher. Hope that clears up the confusion.
 

4C3C|24Ck

New member
Nov 7, 2007
12
0
0
My new favorite. And I loved the 'Intro Sequence Theatre' too, I'm looking forward to see more of that ;)
 

Rune R.

New member
Dec 31, 2004
5
0
0
The Negotiator said:
Are these randomly funny videos at the end happening every week?

If they do, that would be awesome and a cool way to jazz up zero punctuation.
No, that would not be good at all. To quote a genious:
"Don't fix what isn't broke. Taking a format that has proved a massive success and glueing on extra bits, rarely causes the coveted lightning to strike twice."

Just my two scents. I'm left seriously wondering what all those who found it funny have been smoking, cause I want some.
 

kanetsb

New member
Sep 13, 2007
77
0
0
LOL, 2 polish games in one shot. :) Nice :) You would better avoid that country for some time now. ;)