Zero Punctuation: Thief: The Dark Project

cutekittenkyti

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Dec 12, 2007
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was it just me, or was yahtzee kind of hard to understand in this review. And don't say that I'm not used to listening to yahtzee because I've written transcripts for a bunch of his reviews. There were like 4 or 5 words i couldnt understand...
Hmm hold on i has urge to write transcript to see if i can do it ^^
brb
 

Tharticus

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Dec 10, 2008
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Retrospective Review eh? I never heard about this game but I'm willing to try it.

Also, Mr. Croshaw joked some parts of the year 1998, in which an unexpected noise just scared the living crap out of me.
 

Avida

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Oct 17, 2008
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Vlane said:
BlueInkAlchemist said:
klc0100 said:
And now we watch thief sales rocket on steam.
It's available on Steam? *goes and purchases*
But only the third game.
Thats free on Gametap.. but the last gametap game i downloaded refused to work so.. eeh

Anyway, twas a pretty good review, its nice that you could actually tell he cared about this game rather than just following the normal bashing formula.
 

Kompi

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Feb 18, 2008
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What, no mention of the Cradle? ;(

I'm disappointed, the Cradle was one of the more epic moments in PC gaming! (though the Haunted Cathedral is a decent enough substitute)
 

stormcaller

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Sep 6, 2008
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Nice, not as drop dead hillarious as some but more of a review then others. Although slapping the velociraptor "across the bons" was great :D
 

angelblack

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Jul 3, 2008
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Thief 1 was, imo, better than Thief 2 but this is of course a matter of preference. T3 was obviously sh!t except for the focking AWESOME Shalebridge Cradle level which every (true) gamer knows for being the single most horrific level of a game ever designed.

The review was nice and it's relaxing to hear Yahtzee finally say something nice about a game but it's this melancholic bastard's opinion that the game is still isn't praised enough. Thief 1 is a landmark for stealth games, it practically invented the genre and every stealth game should try to learn from it.

All in all, awesome review. It made my Wednesday :)
 

Mexicanbulge

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Jan 15, 2009
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I am soooo glad Yahtzee reviewed a thief game, i know he's a fan but it was about time.
I have to say i think the thief games are one of THE best game series available even in this day and age.
Its such a shame that they are so widely unknown about. Hopefully this will help to bolster the ranks of Thief fans!!
:D
Bes the workerings of hammerfools.
 

Abedeus

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Sep 14, 2008
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Anyone who didn't hear about this game should be ashamed.

Throw out your PC, now.
 

Blastcage

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Jun 18, 2008
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Kanashe said:
Does Yahtzee ever learn to keep his thought straight, or does he need to learn to shut his fucking yap. In SH5 he claimed that fans need to shut up, now he claims that game companies need to listen to fans, if this doesn' scream that his a fucking hypocrite I don't know what does...
Would you like some cheese with your WHINE?

You are wrong in so many ways; this compounds the whole "if you do not have perfect grammar on the internet you are always wrong" thing.
 

Jaqen Hghar

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Feb 11, 2009
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Ah, Thief. I love those games.
I did everything in my power to beat every frikkin' level by not being seen. At all.
Great review.
 

Washboard

Dyslexics of the world...UNTIE!
Dec 17, 2008
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klc0100 said:
And now we watch thief sales rocket on steam.

Blastcage said:
Everyone who hasn't heard of Thief needs to go back to school.

VIDEOGAME SCHOOL.
That was bad. Really bad.
thats an undersatatement if you ask me :p (the bad part, not the "joke")
 

Blastcage

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Jun 18, 2008
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Avida said:
Vlane said:
BlueInkAlchemist said:
klc0100 said:
And now we watch thief sales rocket on steam.
It's available on Steam? *goes and purchases*
But only the third game.
Thats free on Gametap.. but the last gametap game i downloaded refused to work so.. eeh

Anyway, twas a pretty good review, its nice that you could actually tell he cared about this game rather than just following the normal bashing formula.
I think he discussed how shit Thief 3 was, and I can second that somewhat (though obviously with less bile), so don't bother :p
 

Inuprince

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Aug 12, 2008
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Simply super review - although honestly I only played the third part - and had a feeling Yahtzee would bash it - simply because fans of the series feel the same - for me - I loved Deadly Shadows - it was a new experience for me at the time - and since I am more of a TPS player I was happy that it was possible to play from a third-person view (something that also ignored the old fans) but hey it was just a possibility, the FPS view was still there.
The story was brilliant, the city was magnificent, Garrett was a great main character - it was a very detailed game I enjoyed playing with it very much - if someone doesn't know the series I suggest trying the third part at least - from my experience it cam down to the fact :
If you haven't played with the series yet it can become a great experience since you won't notice the facts and changes from the first two parts that the fans maybe complaining and ranting about. Story, gameplay, graphics can be marked as great for the third game in my point of view.


Also the 9th chapter which takes place in a haunted orphanage was one of the scariest times I spent in a videogame :)
 

SgtFlaman

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Oct 15, 2007
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I think I only played the first game once or twice. Might need to go back and revisit the series now.

And since when is Yahtzee anything but a charismatic stallion?
 

Kanashe

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May 8, 2008
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Blastcage said:
Kanashe said:
Does Yahtzee ever learn to keep his thought straight, or does he need to learn to shut his fucking yap. In SH5 he claimed that fans need to shut up, now he claims that game companies need to listen to fans, if this doesn' scream that his a fucking hypocrite I don't know what does...
Would you like some cheese with your WHINE?

You are wrong in so many ways; this compounds the whole "if you do not have perfect grammar on the internet you are always wrong" thing.
Now, but would you like to go and fuck yourselfe? I think Yahztee can use another dick sucker
 

cannedpeaches

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Oct 23, 2008
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I didn't mind Deadly Shadows so much, excepting the ridiculous fence system, the faction drama, and the underground city full of FUCKING MURLOCS.
 

Blastcage

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Jun 18, 2008
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Kanashe said:
Blastcage said:
Kanashe said:
Does Yahtzee ever learn to keep his thought straight, or does he need to learn to shut his fucking yap. In SH5 he claimed that fans need to shut up, now he claims that game companies need to listen to fans, if this doesn' scream that his a fucking hypocrite I don't know what does...
Would you like some cheese with your WHINE?

You are wrong in so many ways; this compounds the whole "if you do not have perfect grammar on the internet you are always wrong" thing.
Now, but would you like to go and fuck yourselfe? I think Yahztee can use another dick sucker
What wit!
 

kavinsky

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Feb 11, 2009
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Well I did like the forced stealth setions in nolf, so I guess i'll have to do the same volucer.
and as for yahtzee, very educational as always.
 

DoomBlackDragon

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Sep 13, 2008
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stiver said:
Err I don't think I have ever heard of this game.

Bah who cares about old games?
The people who have played a good games do. The theif games are great. One of the best games ever. The best games where made in the 90's. Sure it sad to say that when the grapgic where bad and the engines where limited but that maybe why the games where so good. Now a days games makes are all about copy and paste game after game after game. Where they spend 99% of their money on graphic and a physic engines. The resualt is the game looks great it feels great but it has leaves you with nothing to do sence the story seems to been scribbled in at the last 5 mins. The AI is just as dumb as bricks so having it on ultra hard is just to easy. The gameplay is always lacking to make you even want to force your self to finish the game. Worsest of all is the need to make the game 5 hours long and then force you to spend 900 hours of multiplayer to get your moneys worth of the game. If I want to shoot people up I would not go to a game. I just unload a few clips in the nearest mall for my multiplayer. At less then they do not cheat/hack/explote or even lag for that matter. Game of the next gene are quickly falling under the rent/torrent group. It pains me to say but anytime I hear hype about any game comming out I put it in the shit group sence I tend to find the more hype the worse the game is.
 

Stevey M

Technobabbler
Feb 11, 2009
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I know of the Thief games, but never really took a good look at them. I think I may have to check them out. Thanks for the review, Yahtzee.