Zero Punctuation: Thief: The Dark Project

[Zealous Kringle]

Is there a cooler ZP character design then Garret?
No.

Spotless return to form.

 

[Firia]

I'm glad you decided to do this review, Yatz. You've referanced the Thief game(s) several times over the course of your review carreer, and it's nice to finally get your overall view on the series. I have a friend that played some, but I was busy playing those JRPGs. You may scoff.

 

[Ragis]

I love Thief games, they gave me the best gaming entertainment I can remember to this date. Actually, I finished T3 just about a year ago (my pc couldn't handle it when it was released and I kinda forgot about it..) and with all the Assassins, Mirrors and whatnot released in last few months, T3 is still the best game I've played lately, even with its flaws you all mentioned.
I don't get it - Thief series has such huge fanbase, even after all these years, people make mods and games inspired by Thief world, and no developer tries to create similar gaming experience. Eidos doesn't even think about T4, but wouldn't it be a huge success? Yes, there are stealth games (not as many as I would like though), but Splinters and MGSes don't have the medieval/fantasy style and story.

 

[Corpse XxX]

I think he should not review games that he likes.. Seeing as the reviews that he has on bad games are alot more funny

 

[L4Y Duke]

Haven't heard of this game before? what? How have you not heard of it? oh wait your probably 12,

I hadn't heard of it.

However, I had played the sequel, Thief II. It was... not to my liking.

Yeah, I just lack the patience for games like this.

 

[mtk2a]

Wow, a truly excellent review for a truly excellent game.

I was both surprised and pleased to see a retro game reviewed.

Much loling was had from "press X to NOT DIE". lol.

 

[Powas]

What a freakin' classic. A great game with a great plot.
Brings back memories.

 

[CaptainPicard]

It seems like I'm the only person who actually liked the zombie levels. Bonehoard was probably the creepiest thing I'd ever experienced in a game at that point. Rope arrowing over a flight of trapped steps stealing jewels, frantically trying to manage your holy water, and freaking the fuck out when the first restless dead appeared. Awesomeness.

The sprawling building levels are also great fun, except for Constantine's house. Finding a key placed on ONE FUCKING TILE of a very large carpet was not fair in the slightest.

The zombie parts were the best for me as well. It wasn't that it was trying to be "blast em up" it was that YOU CANT KILL THESE GUYS HAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!! It forced you to be even better at stealth than ever before. TO THIS DAY I think that Thief 1 zombies were the scariest zombies of any game. Their groans, OH! their groans... *sob*

"Gorn to the bear pits tomorrer. Wanna come with?"

YEEEES!!!!!

I thought that was the COOLEST thing about that game then. I had never heard NPCs have a full conversation like that before. Not only was it long, but it was funny!

I agree with the zombies being scary. I've *never* been scared of anything in a game, but those zombies manage to fill one with horror.

 

[OblivionWolf]

I would just like to encourage you to try playing through Halo, the original Halo, on PC. You keep lumping it together with it's progeny as if what came after it must be like the original. But even a dwarf glarp from Pluto would have figured out by now, just from watching your reviews, that a game can often be good when first released then be turned into a piece of trash in successive generations.

The story in the game is the most emersive I have encountered. When they brought me down to see the flood for the first time... it was just intense. I love playing the game and still do. I honestly don't know if I would like Halo 2 or 3 because I haven't played them. Halo 2 was released for vista only and I wasn't about to load that pile of cr@p onto my machine to play a game, and the last time i checked halo 3 wasn't out for PC yet. I don't play console games. Even if the graphics are catching up now, the controls still suck.

 

[Signa]

when I first started Thief I became acutely aware of the noise I made, and started making conscious efforts to reduce it. To this day, I move practically silently at anything slower than a brisk jog.

I'm guilty of the same. It's fun sneaking up on people unintentionally.

off-topic: SON OF A *****! I'm trying to install the game because I got the itch to play it again, and I can't even get setup.exe to run. I've been all over the internet for answers, and the only thing I could find was a suggestion on using the compatibility tab, or "waiting an hour..." Well, it's been at least 7.

 

[LesIsMore]

While I'm at it: The servants. From the second game. OH GOD the servants. With their giddy giggles and relieved, whispered "Thank you,"s as you knocked them out. *SHIVER*

Oh yes. And do you remember breaking into the vault under the old Hammerite chapel in Thief II? They had those ghosts which were almost impossible to deal with stalking the place like it was a convention centre. It was so immersive...the most tension I've ever felt in a game. Period.

For my money, the scariest moment in Thief II (or at least the most memorable) was in Truart's house in the secret room underneath the chapel, where there's a golden skull in a middle room but also a Hammer Haunt patrolling. You have to put out the torches so as not to be seen, the ghostly whispering and clanking of chains the only clue, and you know you only have one chance to take him down because if he sees you at all you're fucked, no chance against him in combat - really intense and genuinely terrifying.

 

[AhhARealMonster]

Great review! I got scared there for a while with the Tomb Raider and GoW *YAWN* reviews. The Thief games are great.

 

[LesIsMore]

And I really hope that Yahtzee didn't just insult No One Lives Forever. That game is love.

That is an underappreciated gem of a game - Austin Powers in FPS format, but strengthened with a wonderful soundtrack, compelling story and some of the funniest enemy conversation I've ever heard. The sequel was limp in terms of both, but the original was a rare instance of experimentation with FPSs and a real joy to play.

 

[MB202]

I thought the part where the guy was yelling as his computer was the funniest part!

 

[existozip]

Just joined to post a comment on this review. I consider thief to be the best and most atmospheric stealth game ever, and i'm glad yahtzee, actually took time to review something most people wont be able to stand nowadays(cause of graphics).thief1,deus ex1, baldurs gate2, vampire the masquerade:bloodlines, kotor, morrowind, and diablo2 are my all time favorite games. Its sad no good pc games are coming out anymore, at least not like they used to. or maybe its just nostalgia, i dont know. anyways enjoyed the review, like always.

 

[beddo]

I'm so fed up with all the hate on Halo. It was not a bad game. It was a good game. If you played it after 2003 then your opinion is generally going to be based on all the then populist anti-halo ideal.

 

[artstsym]

If this game is responsible for that horrendously awful stealth level in Rainbow Six: Raven Shield, then I am going to murder it. Or just everyone at Ubisoft.

 

[Billkwando]

It sounds like this game puts the "neato" in "incognito".

 

[sneak_copter]

A definite return to form there.

He never went below this mysterious "form"

 

[GeneralTrivium]

Nice. I got this game ages ago. But now due to my new modern(ish) PC it can't run it without freezing randomly at the start of the level, which is a shame really cause I wouldn't mind playing this now I'm older and not pissing myself when inside the mansion castle thing when I hear a guard breathing 100 meters away.

Good job Yahtzee!