Zero Punctuation: Turok

[symphonycometh]

I suppose if there was ever a time to join the forum, it's to comment on this...

ect.

Judging by your wall, I'm taking you believe firmly in the "It's only an opinion." theory. With that said, Halo asked for every beat down for the peeps that bought in to the "revolutionary" feeling and came back from the hype trip, ending up in COD4 and never looking back. Some, no, many wanted more from the hype-machine and it did NOT deliver. The main attraction, online, felt empty to me and far easier than other online games out there. (Probably because casuals are all over Halo 3.)It doesn't deserve the mass score, it doesn't deserve any farther praise. It's a dying franchise thanks to other FPS catching up and crushing it. Hype will not work for the game any longer. I ignored your request to not respond to the Halo thing, because you basically wanted everyone to hear your opinion and shut up about telling theirs. In my opinion, that's wrong. Yahtzee was spot on for that review Halo 3, and he's spot on about Torok.

Good vid Yahtzee.

 

[Thedarkestofsouls]

I was not talking about Halo 3 (Halo 3 was far to overhyped. It didn't make it any less of a great game, but it definatly didn't deliver what it promised).

Yahtzee quite clearly use Halo: CE in his review, a game he is quoted to have never played, and to my knowledge he has not yet. The point of my responce was not to approve Halo, but to voice my complaint that yahtzee told me nothing about the actual gameplay of Turok except it was like have the games I like and half the games I don't. I assume you have played the new Turok, and thus spot-only agree that it sucks, so I will take you at your word. I just wish HE had been more clear on the game, not a weakening Genre.

Edit: Also, I am more then happy if people wish to voice their opinions, but honestly, the first person to use the word "Halo" in this discussion in a way other than "It sucks" was labeled a fan boy, and I would rather not turn this into an argument about what is and isn't fanatasism. If it really is such an interesting debate for people, I would welcome the discussion. However, that is what a PM system is for.

 

[m_jim]

Oh, and on the subject of health bars:

I think that we should get a REAL shooter, where if you take a bullet to the hand you go down on all fours crying for your mum, while your attacker prepares a curb-stomp execution, and a shot anywhere to your chest, neck, head, or major arteries will instantly kill you.

Then we'll see just how important realism is to anyone!

Wasn't that Killzone?

Pretty much. If you want to talk about an unfun crap-fest, that was it. I could buy the whole "get shot and you're done" philosophy if it applied to the enemies as well, who all could take a magazine worth of rounds to the body and still have the decency to shotgun you in the face.

 

[Vitalix]

Kudos to Yahtzee once again for producing a fine review. He writes an insightful analysis of first person shooters. These points are spot on. Let's hope the gaming industry heeds Ben's words.

Ben is at his best when the jokes and irony complement his review and not overwhelm them. Unlike most video drivel on games that lurks the web, Mr. Croshaw need not hide behind pre-teen sexual humor. Shed of his annoying fixations with female body parts and repetitive juvenile commentary (although he just couldn't resist drawing a penis could he?), the review comes to the fore. Games first. When Ben forgets that, he becomes the reviewing eqivalent of Halo 3.

Hasn't happened yet. Let's hope it does not.

Vitalix

 

[WillPG1212]

Oh man, this weeks' was great thanks Yahtzee.

hahah what happened to health bars?? so true.

DUKE NUKEM!!!!!! i hope ul review the (finaly) upcoming new one.

 

[Torchlyte]

ZP is usually funny, but this review just plain sucked. He basically just said, "Halo 3 sucks," and "Healthbars rule lol!!!"

 

[xeper]

Now this is what I call a true blue Yahtzee game review... But it it's not that bad, only that it's too away from true Turok series...

 

[moatartareque]

i played the demo i liked it but what really pissed me off was NO BLOOD ON THE ENEMIES i know they have metal suits but show some blood to show that i killed him

 

[Abbadiel]

I agree with yahtzee, the good and old FPS's where games that consisted entirely by humor and gore(see the examples in the video: Blood and Duke Nukem), were the best ones. Then overpraised monotony-fest (aka Halo) came along to spoil it trying to be serious.
I forgive the original Half-life for that because at least they did a great game that was entertaining. Half-life 2 was monotonous through the first 8 chapters, but then picked up and made itself worthy along with the subsequent episodes.

Besides, Halo is the prime example of uncle Bill's compulsive buying to eliminate the competition (Halo was originally intended to be a Mac game and some kind of successor to Marathon I've been told).

Critics aside, fun video Yahtzee, it was a the perking up of the week and, was better than the Burnout review (seriuosly it wasn't as entertaining as the majority).

 

[m_jim]

haha, check out the Yahtzee Kirby form
http://jncarvalho.deviantart.com/art/Kirby-Yahtzee-80613662

At the risk of sounding 13...this makes me want to see a Yahtzee avatar in the next Smash Brothers. Petition, anyone?

 

[Uszi]

To TheDarkestOfSouls:

I'm not sure I would come to ZP if I was actually looking for a review to base a decision on whether to actually buy or rent a game. I might consider it as a final point, but for the most part I come here to be entertained.

And I think that this is generally true: The people who stick around are the ones entertained, the people who get insulted leave. Hence the general lack of anti-Yahtzee comments after videos, or at least the very one sided ratios.

 

[ebs187]

Yathzee makes life worth living. yay.

 

[lithead]

Oh, Yahtzee, I want to bear your babies! Or at least try to!

 

[Ydna]

Ron-fuck-mothering-Pearlman HAHAHAHAAHAH hilarious

 

[mrbearbear83]

I found Turok for 6.95 euro it looked crap.

 

[mrbearbear83]

does any one know about the losers on youtube who are trying to be ZP? the american that slurs and goes in so much detail that the reviem gets lots, and the english guy who sounds drunk (sorry just DrMisanthropes comment reminded me of them) is there anything that will be done about these copycats?

 

[nightfish]

I found Turok for 6.95 euro it looked crap.

you know the original turok was quality, especially back in the day.

i'm assuming thats the version you were looking at for that price

 

[mrbearbear83]

i was talking about the reviewed one, i decided not to buy it coz cheap=crap in ireland now a days

 

[Mairsil the Pretender]

I was not talking about Halo 3 (Halo 3 was far to overhyped. It didn't make it any less of a great game, but it definatly didn't deliver what it promised).

Yahtzee quite clearly use Halo: CE in his review, a game he is quoted to have never played, and to my knowledge he has not yet. The point of my responce was not to approve Halo, but to voice my complaint that yahtzee told me nothing about the actual gameplay of Turok except it was like have the games I like and half the games I don't. I assume you have played the new Turok, and thus spot-only agree that it sucks, so I will take you at your word. I just wish HE had been more clear on the game, not a weakening Genre.

Edit: Also, I am more then happy if people wish to voice their opinions, but honestly, the first person to use the word "Halo" in this discussion in a way other than "It sucks" was labeled a fan boy, and I would rather not turn this into an argument about what is and isn't fanatasism. If it really is such an interesting debate for people, I would welcome the discussion. However, that is what a PM system is for.

Thats a good point. I liked Halo. I even sort of liked Halo 2, at least the arbiter levels. I loved playing with competent allies, using alien weapons exclusively, going invisible, and being a badass fallen warrior hero with, while not much personality, more personality than the cheif (ie: a personality). Broken-jaw was cool, too.

Yahtzee is basing his statements off of halo 3, and it's a wee bit unfair to tar the earlier games with the same brush.

 

[u2rocksbaby]

If you like Metroid Prime, perhaps you'd like to review Metroid Prime 3. Though I'm not even sure you read comments this far through. Just asking. And yes, I'm trying to be that guy who asks so flatly and sincerely that it might be surprising.