Zero Punctuation: Valkyria Chronicles

beddo

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Generic 'I love Yahtzee comment', quote joke from this week's review and add lol.
 

Jursa

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Oct 11, 2008
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Despite this review putting this game to shame, I still think it was a great game. Still a great review. I loved the bit with chess and elastic bands.
 

beddo

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harhol said:
The comment about excessive micromanagement is also bizarre considering how simplistic it is in VC compared to other TRPGs.
That does mean it's not excessive, just that the others are even worse. Tbh, he probably doesn't have time to play it all the way through to the end. I'd never play it anyway so I don't really care about the review.
 

beddo

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haakonb said:
Loved this ep and your description of JRGP's, can't agree more.

I HATE JRPG's


...and now I'll probably get a lot of angry faggy fanboy comments..
You'll actually get reported for saying; "faggy fanboy comments".

STFU and GTFO troll.
 

MowDownJoe

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bartholen said:
Chest high walls represented by the box of Gears 2 = brilliant.
I was so about to bring that up... love the reference to the earlier review. As well as "fractal spreadsheet nightmare".

Maybe when a new Fire Emblem comes out, Yahtzee can review that. Or he can tear into the remake of the first one... whichever.
 

Matsu

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I'm sad that Yahtzee evidently didn't play real far into the game.

Personally I loved VC right up until we find out who the titular Valkyria is. After that it became this obnoxious, amazingly predictable anvilicious deluge of bullshit. I would have loved for him to rip the story a new one, since pretty much every OTHER review of it gives it nothing but drooling praise.

Please, Mr. Croshaw, finish Valkyria Chronicles. I swear to God, it gets worse.
 

Max-Vader

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May 9, 2009
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GloatingSwine said:
Max-Vader said:
PS: What, no breast-jokes about the valkyrie?
Given the complaint about upgrades, I bet he didn't even play that far.
True. As already pointed out by harhol, his claim of more screentime = invincible would prove that about halfway through the game. And if he calls that micromanagement, I wonder how he can play any RPG without bitching. Also, the Empire is not depicted as the all-evil - that is emphasised in one cutscene with a dying empire soldier and at the end of "what lies beyond hate". (And the Federation aren't much better than the empire anyway.)

His review was very funny, but he should at least know something about the game he's criticising and not go "Ok, I played the first three missions, thats enough - I already know it's shit because it's a JRPG!"

I get the feeling he didn't even give Valkyria Chronicles a chance although it' very unique because of his... let's say "prejudices" against it.
 

nixomose

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Apr 24, 2009
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Me and my zero punctuation t shirt noticed that yahtzee has calmed down a bit ever since he said the word "ni-"
Which is too bad, I think. While I realize he is a game reviewer and this is the wrong venue for politics, it's a shame he has to limit her verbal outbursts to a rather small spectacle of modern life. Obviously this came from the boss.
Instead of making a game review show on the side, he should add politics to his auditory rampage, he could be the next jon stewart, he'd put howard stern to shame. Might even appear as the second coming of dice clay.

Anybody else agree?
 

GonzoGamer

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odisious15 said:
Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.
odisious15 said:
Well watching that saved me from buying a PS3 for the sole purpose of playing Valkryia Chronicles. Guess I'll stick to my PC for gaming and hope we get more JRPG's withing the next decade or two.
As for the review hilarious as always.
I don't know. I haven't been able to take Yhatzee's taste seriously since he recommended we all buy No More Heroes.

VC is way better than that crap, but yes I don't know why the consecutive cutscenes are sectioned off. That part gets annoying, especially if you don't feel like watching an anime episode.

Although, I have to say I love it when he makes fun of games I like. I wish he had made fun of Saints Row 2 more; it was brilliant sure, but it still had plenty to ridicule.
 
Apr 17, 2009
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I can understand that most games aren't that great these days and have their faults, and it can't be helped if Yahtzee ends up disliking most titles he gets his hands on because he couldn't have known or because they really do happen to be shitty, but why the fuck does he review a game he knows he's gonna hate? That EVERYONE knows he's gonna hate? Why does he even play it? Sure, he's got to have an overview as a critic, but is this sort of theatre truly necessary? Is popular demand so tiresome that he does it despite everything, even though he knows he's rambling about the same shit over and over? Even though he knows that he's making us witness him drifting down the same river of feces all over again?
He's said he's trying new things. He has been for at least a couple of reviews now. So he's trying out a JRPG in case the bile he spews at them so hilariously is in fact, not deserved
 

KeyMaster45

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Jun 16, 2008
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While I generally stay away from Yahtzee's review threads I felt compelled to come here and say that this is the first one in a long time that felt like the Yahtzee videos he first put up on YouTube. It more than likely has to do with the fact he hates JRPG's and played a bad one at that than anything else.

I find though that the more I watch Yahtzee the more I drift away from main stream games and into the indie category. Is this a bad thing, or have I just grown tired with main stream games and need a break to play games like World of Goo, Crayon Physics, and the Wallace and Gromit episodic adventures? That's more of a rhetorical question I don't really need an answer to it.
 

Skeleon

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Nov 2, 2007
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Wow, was this "name-change" serious?
That would be particularily dumb since Europe = Europa in many European languages.

Anyway, nice review.
Guess the developers couldn't be bothered to come up with a new story.
 
Apr 17, 2009
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I get the feeling he didn't even give Valkyria Chronicles a chance although it' very unique because of his... let's say "prejudices" against it.
He only has a week to play the games he's reviewing. And I doubt he gets every single hour of every single day to play the games he's reviewing. So with RPGs, games which take time and patience, of course he's not going to get all the way