Zero Punctuation: Valkyria Chronicles

mike1921

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Oct 17, 2008
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harhol said:
People who plan on taking this review seriously might want to bear in mind the numerous factual inaccuracies which suggest that he's barely played beyond the first couple of missions. Sandbags aren't the only things you can crouch behind and weapons can be upgraded in several different ways. If snipers are only hitting one in ten shots then I suggest he either reads the instruction manual or retires from playing video games. His line about the protagonist's sister being plot-centric and therefore invincible will be amusing to anyone who's played past the first third of the game. The comment about excessive micromanagement is also bizarre considering how simplistic it is in VC compared to other TRPGs.
Quit playing videogames? Because he's not good at JRPGs? Fuck you. Also, I highly doubt that any game where you have to play 1/3 of it for it to get good ever will get good.
 

Alien1375

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May 13, 2009
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Putting your units at strategic parts of the map during your turn to attack the enemy, and letting the enemy do the same in his turn sounds like a turn-based strategy game to me...

Now walking with a group trough a landscape and being randomly attacked by monsters while the group sticks together to fight the enemy one at the time is closer to my definition of a RPG.

But I have to agree, the game is Japanese (Yay!)
 

AlphaNukey

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Sep 3, 2008
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Vlane said:
I haven't watched the full video yet but let me say this Yahtzee: In DDS half human half demon adults kill god (and satan if you want but he is the good guy).
God I love DDS so hard.
I think Yahtzee should totally review DDS, or at least a Shin Megami Tensei game. I'm morbidly curious.
Persona has a lot of the androgynous teenagers saving the world, (despite the fact that I love that game too), but DDS was much more mature.
 

polygon

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Jan 28, 2009
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I love how every time Yahtzee calls JRPGs out for the repulsing generic repetitive excuses for entertainment they are, there are at least five cockheads who come out of the woodwork and proclaim that he's jumped the shark.
 

ElArabDeMagnifico

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Dec 20, 2007
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Love the game but I thought this was hilarious, it's so funny to see him out of his "comfort zone" and have him go through so much pain.
 

Matsu

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May 13, 2009
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harhol said:
The way snipers work in VC: you line up the reticule over the enemy soldier until it turns red, then you press fire. Unless the enemy is of a markedly higher level (usually one of these guys on each map, sometimes none) or has a special dodging ability (almost always limited to the aforementioned) then the shot will hit 95% of the time. Not to mention that some snipers have special abilities which boost accuracy & prevent dodging. There is no skill involved because the game is paused while you aim. So if he's only hitting 1/10 of the time, he's doing something wrong; it's not about being "good at JRPGs". And you don't have to play 1/3 of the game for it to "get good": like most games it starts off with limited customization options and gives you more & more choices as you progress (like starting off with a knife & pistol in an action game and finishing off with a full arsenal & super powers).
It should also be noted that from the description, he was probably using Oscar, who is the worst sniper in the game, and a large part of his character. He wouldn't have gotten those results with say, Cezary, or .. what's her face, with the inexplicable accent.
 

AxonZin

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Apr 16, 2009
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"Some things just don't combine, like republicans and compassion."

Had me falling out of my seat in laughter. Yahtzee, you marvelous bastard.
 

menhir

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Jun 15, 2007
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He must not have played very far, because the story gets a LOT worse and he didn't mention the cutscenes very many times.
 

Sgt Doom

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Jan 30, 2009
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Someone send him a crate of stress medication before he goes on a killing spree, he sounded like he was ready to rip people's jugulars out with his teeth.
 

RTR

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Mar 22, 2008
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The anomation during the credits reminded me of the third Indiana Jones movie.
Today, I learnt a new word: motherfuckery