Zero Punctuation: Velvet Assassin

[Xelanath]

It seems Yahtzee has some psuedo-Freudian obsession with cocks and dildos as his last several reviews have contained them in some form.

Sure, you could analyze his apparent obsession using a pseudo-Freudian method, but I don't know how someone can have a pseudo-Freudian obsession.

 

[JoeNut]

great review, really funny.

 

[cuddly kit]

Lol, community service
That review was funny, good job Yahtzee

 

[gc_danny]

Now all we need is a cold war game made by russia.

We've got one. It's called Hammer&Sickle, developed by Nival Interactive. It's pretty good.

In other news I'm surprised that Yahtzee didn't mention that all the game's enemies look like Nazi Vampires. Take a look: http://tinyurl.com/ob4mqh

 

[J.E.T.]

What is this community service?
*ROFL*
That was the best ending yet...

THAT WAS HILARIOUS I rofl'd lol.

 

[StormwalkerX]

Really good , I love the community service joke. Also can somebody please tell me the name of the song in the t-shirt commercial.

 

[todd10k]

to be honest i liked velvet assassin. it's a pretty game if nothing else. The stealth aspect was badly done and the enemies were all psychic. But the premise and storyline were both really good.

Also, "what is this community service?" LOL.

 

[YoungZer0]

The very fact that this was developed by South peak was a terrible indication.
This was getting bad scores from even the most positive of reviewers, so I could tell hilarity was coming when the most pessimistic of them all had a stab and the crappy game.

Yahtzee forever

Nice try but it wasn't developed by South Peak.

Anyway, the german government has nothing against people mentioning Nazi. In fact it's the complete opposite. The only thing the german government is careful with is the use of the Swastika. They only allowed to be used in documentary or stuff that is against nazi bullshit, like American History X. They usually censor/change the emblem if it's featured in videogames.

Oh I'm sorry I invaded your pedantic laws.
And I pretty sure I said nothing about the Germans, unless that was out of context...

That was a comment to Yahtzees Video.

 

[Goremocker]

that quite frankly was the best ending in the history of ZP!!!

 

[Goremocker]

lol yup!

 

[Goremocker]

damn quotes not working

 

[balimuzz]

That final comment was brilliant. I can't wait to see Italy step up to the plate with their interpretation of WWII.

 

[eyedonutkair]

meh, yeah, that was funny. I wonder if assassins creed is really that bad tho? I havn't played it, and i'm all for naked chix sneakin about with knives...y'know, as long as i'm not her target and all...
And geez, what is with all you people throwin in yer 'everyone should know, but nobody cares' facts? oh, south peak made this, oh, you CAN say nazi in germany. I mean seriously? Who cares if it's tru or not, it was funny when he said it while showing a guy gettin toasted. THAT IS ALL. Keep yer funfacts to yerself for once...
Donut Lie Kit?
Eye Donut Kair.

 

[blobin]

.

 

[Augg]

rofl "what is this? community service?" I laughed so hard at that

 

[Kalado]

I am german and the last part was damn funny

Btw, i played the game and its not to bad, I thought it was a complete rip off from Metal gear solid more then one from hitman.

 

[jemborg]

WTF!! I've become another of those poor bastards that can't seem to get a fucking Escapist video to show. Fucking great!!!

 

[Squiggers]

meh, yeah, that was funny. I wonder if assassins creed is really that bad tho? I havn't played it, and i'm all for naked chix sneakin about with knives...y'know, as long as i'm not her target and all...
And geez, what is with all you people throwin in yer 'everyone should know, but nobody cares' facts? oh, south peak made this, oh, you CAN say nazi in germany. I mean seriously? Who cares if it's tru or not, it was funny when he said it while showing a guy gettin toasted. THAT IS ALL. Keep yer funfacts to yerself for once...
Donut Lie Kit?
Eye Donut Kair.

Stop butchering the English language, for the LOVE OF JEHOVAH.

"Donut Lie Kit?" and "Eye Donut Kair"?

Please, please, learn how to speak English.

On a side note, it was quite a good review, but I have to say, theres a lot of WW2 games popping up slaughtering the Nazi's recently...

 

[DaBozz]

Ah yes, funny as always Yathzee.
Loved the ending, but the text at the end was funny too.
"Still, even if he did only have one ball it must havbe been pretty
F***ing big to go outside with that moustache" lol.
good review aswell, Im going to avoid this game like the plauge now.

 

[Logizomechanophobia]

The ending made the entire review. I really laughed out loud ater that one. I completley missed the Hitler reference in the text though until I read the comments.