Zero Punctuation: Velvet Assassin

BlueInkAlchemist

Ridiculously Awesome
Jun 4, 2008
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The decent but somewhat mid-quality review this week is bookended by very funny moments, the end being the aforementioned "community service," and the beginning having a moment of Yahtzee's now-classic "Oh no everybody can see my bum." In German.

I enjoyed it.
 

WolfmanNougat

New member
May 14, 2009
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Pretty good as always. Not particularly memorable (appropriate for the game then, yes?) and the ending was a little abrupt, but still pretty good anyhow.
 

Kanashe

New member
May 8, 2008
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Meh, again nothin' special. Seen this, done that, good day sir. The only thin' this review made wanna do is get my copy of Hitman and MGS1 out and play it again, because atleast thoes games aren' as bad as Velvet Asssassin, and ya know what. There already was a WWII stealth game of wich no one knew or cared to try called "Death to Spies", maybe because it was a Russian project, or maybe the game didn' travel out many countries. Wich is a shame since it did a far better job than Velve Assassin, and was more stealth based and less gunplay.
 

Zydrate

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Apr 1, 2009
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Sigh. None of the sites videos are working for me. Red X deal.
What format does it use (Java, Flash, etc) so I can look into this matter?

Edit: Nevermind, it tells me I need to update Flash. Damnit.
 

rowly36

New member
May 13, 2009
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this game looks terrible...

great review though, probably one of the funniest i have seen in a long time. the last line was the one that had me on the floor in fits of laughter.

but seriously, the developers tried to come up with a reason why she was wearing so little half of the time, and i actually laughed when i read their excuses.
 

Bart Wux

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Dec 4, 2008
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The part where the german government comes to your house made me laugh... the sad thing is that this is probably closer to the truth than Yahtzee even realized.
 

Doug

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Apr 23, 2008
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Very amusing video I thought, and whilst I'm surprised he didn't like Splinter Cell, I can understand the reason he gave.

Anywho, as for Velvet assasin, I figured it'd be poo-poo, heh.
 

3_of_8

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Mar 18, 2009
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In fact, the Nazis are mentioned in Germany all the time. It's really annoying, 15 bloody years in German history and you hear and read about it all the time. It seems like we Germans have a strong urge to talk about how bad the Nazis were all the time even though it's several generations away. Of course, they were bad, but everybody knows that anyway. (Well, almost everybody)

So, it's not a problem to make a game about Nazis. But if you depict them in a way that could perhaps be interpreted as downplaying, you have half the country at your throat. And you can't show Nazi symbols like the swastika. But apart from that... not a problem.
 

Inuprince

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Aug 12, 2008
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Violett Szabo is from Hungary - which is my home country, although I'm not a Special Operations Executive ...or am I??? :)

Oh well, the review was great, the last line was the very best and now I must leave before my bomb blows up under Gadolf Schmitler's house.. ^^
 

Sgt Doom

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Jan 30, 2009
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The "community service" comment got me like a .50 cal to the head of an insurgent.
And yeah, if they're going to try and base the main character of an actual WW2 spy, they could've at least tried to keep to the history. If not, why didn't they just make someone up?
 

chase211

New member
Sep 22, 2008
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Its pretty clear to me at this point that ZP is reviewing the unimportant and forgetable games to please his fanbase that bitches so much when he bashes a mainstream title in an effort to be able to safely burn to death a title no one gives a flying shit about without pissing off fans. What he seems to fail to realize is that it is his very controversial nature that makes him worth watching. I would be willing to bet his review of Super Smash Bros had more views than any other video...and I would also bet his video directly after that got more views as a result.
 

yeah_so_no

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Sep 11, 2008
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That is so, so true, how it would have gone had it been an American production!

And community service indeed. Hee.
 

Tech Team FTW!

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Apr 1, 2009
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Actually, when he said the plot was similar to Hitman: Blood Money he meant Hitman: Contracts.

But I'll forgive that little faux pas.