Zero Punctuation: Wet

[Sonicron]

Yes! YES! FUCK, YES!
You nailed it! EVERY GODDAMN SHITTY THING that had me reciting mantras of mental strength in order to force myself through to the end of the game! Unlikable protagonist, stupid shooting controls, the annoying artsy-looking rage mode, the mandatory arena fights, confusing level design, stupid commercial panels, epic loading times AND the game freezing during a loading screen! It's all here!
This was a well-deserved maiming, and I was laughing through all of it! Thank you, Yahtzee!!!

 

[Sethzard]

Nice brutality my lord

 

[noodlestreet]

Great review VZ but was expecting Halo ODST.Still funny as hell.

He's not reviewing this. See most recent XP.

EDIT: oops, someone beat me to it. Oh well. Hoping he reviews Brütal Legend next week. Want to know if it's actually any good.

 

[ewhac]

"Pretentious arty bullshit-o-vision"

Another quote for the book.

 

[FinalGamer]

Wow my friend from Spain fucking CALLED it, it is EXACTLY what he said XD brilliant to hear that support.

 

[IrrelevantTangent]

[FROM THE SCRIBBLENAUTS ZERO PUNCTUATION THREAD]

Theres a void here just before creed and modern warfare two,
... I guess just because the companies want to release closer to christmas?
more awesome stuff here yahtz

[FROM THE SCRIBBLENAUTS ZERO PUNCTUATION THREAD]

What is it with you people? I've been here for almost a year now, and every single time Yahtzee Croshaw makes a thread, people like you just HAVE to be first in line to post. You cannot possibly have watched the video that fast! It's impossible! You posted 60 seconds after he did, so how the hell can you say, 'awesome stuff as usual'? You didn't watch it!

I mean no disrespect, but honestly, just what do you get out of it? Do you have an orgasm every time you're the first to post in a thread? Do you realize that even if you did, and that's a big IF, you'll still be suspended or probated?

I just don't understand why.

W. T. F.

What the hell, people? Why did this have to happen again? Now, I'm not blaming all of you, but SEVEN people on THE FIRST PAGE alone were probated or suspended!

Why does this have to keep happening? Don't you understand the mods don't like 'First!'-esque posts? Nobody cares if you post first in a thread, even a Zero Punctuation thread! Nobody! And even if we did, you WILL get suspended or probated for pulling a stunt like that!

So let's end the cycle.

Post when you see a thread pop up when browsing the forums normally, don't wait until MIDNIGHT just so you can post 'FIRST!11ONEONESIX' and get suspended.

 

[beemoh]

People don't say 'Pillock' enough any more.

 

[Casanova]

the last few episodes sucked. it's nice to see yatchzee back on top pillar... whatever!
keep these funny one's coming.

 

[NeckStabber]

I'm so curious if he will review Brutal Legend in the future what will he say about it.I think he's into those don't-take-themselves-serious games.

 

[bachterman]

in three words: usual, shitty, game.

 

[Mr_M]

You've done it again Yahtzee. This video sums up my opinions of this game to a tee.

Though I am disappointed that he didn't mention the stages where the unclear movement puzzles combine with the red and black filter to create a truly frustrating and headache-inducing experience.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I'm sure I speak for everyone here when I say, BRING BACK PROPER BOSS FIGHTS!!!
QTE's are fine if used responsibly, using them to replace boss fights is not using them responsibly.
Anyway, good review. Funny as always.

 

[TheHitcher]

"I do not advertise googling 'Wet Box' with the safe search off."

Note taken, I cant imagine the results.

I did that out of curiosity. The images weren't horrific, just-- well, actually why don't you go and see for yourself?

OT: I shoulda known Yahtzee would tear this game a new one, but it's still a shame because the game itself isn't a catastrophie, though it does need quite a bit of work.

 

[SuperMatt665]

Good work slaughtering terrible Ideas for terrible games.

 

[TimeLord]

I love Pilloc

Me too, but I really think he should bring back Terry and Gonad from the "Alone in the Dark" review

I loved Terry and Gonad

 

[Frigidus]

Wow, Yahtzee pulled out all the stops on this one. There wasn't even the usual nod towards a handful of good things. Excuse me while I never buy this game.

 

[Sov.reign]

That's cause there are no good points to it!The game is just chilly concarnage but trying too hard Disgraceful game! But if we didn't have those we wouldn't have something to laugh at would we

 

[Stabby Joe]

Wet seems to be trying to hard with it's style, it seems forced. House of the Dead Overkill worked better with its grindhouse style because zombies call for a more over the top affair than just what comes off as a revenge thriller.

And in terms of gun play, Max Payne already nailed bullet time YEARS before and Stranglehold when in a less serious tone without making fun of the concept as opposed this game.

 

[geldonyetich]

Sounds like an unremarkable and fairly miserable Max Payne clone with bullet time swiped out for one-gun-has-a-mind-of-its-own as the gimmick. No wonder Yahtzee's Scribblenauts Extra Punctuation was so filled with vitriol for the idiocy in this world - he was suffering from having to play this at the time.

This episode was, however, comedy gold. Boss and Pillock could be recurring characters for all the laughs Yahtzee could bounce off them.

 

[Kuchinawa212]

YAY best one yet. I had a good laugh. I kinda wanna see how that gun fighting worked out