Zero Punctuation: World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

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Cerebral_Assassin

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May 5, 2010
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First I never would've expected to see a WoW review on this site.
Second it was no where near as bad as I thought it was gonna be, he actually did say good things, but of course with good comes bad and that is why I watch Yahtzee.
 

teknoarcanist

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Jun 9, 2008
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Having played WoW, City of Heroes, Final Fantasy XI, some Everquest, a little Guildwars, etc...I've since given up on this particular model of online play. They're always fun to start. They always do just one thing new or different enough to make me think that, somehow, this time, I've found something different, and worthy of my continued attention and emotional dedication.

But after tearing myself free from these games, they always, 100% of the time, leave me with the nagging feeling that they have served me no other purpose than a monumental time-suck. I feel no fulfillment. I have not made friends. I have not learned anything and nothing has been expressed. I've let another accursed little goblin worm its way into my head and take tiny little bites out of my soul--for no reason.

There is a concept, as a student of game design, of how to make a game more addictive. Lengthen objectives with mini-objectives. Have the rewards lead to new tasks. Have the Big Reward always just over the horizon. Figure out your risk/reward cycle and exploit the hell out of it.

MMO's run headlong at all of these design philosophies and milk them to death until they become cardinal sins. They do this because more time spent playing the game equates to more money given via subscription--or pay-to-play items, or advertising, or what have you. They are money-making machines. Nothing more. Nothing less. There is no art in them but what is derived by accidental consequences of the sheer amount of time and human energy involved in their continued existence.

The thing they forget to tell you when they're arguing about how games have the capacity to tell stories in new, unique ways is that games also have an inherent stranglehold on select human behavioral tendencies, in a way that other mediums of art absolutely cannot imitate. Game designers sit down and ask, "How do I tweak the player's brain to make them think this, and do that?" MMO designers sit down and ask: How do I keep them playing? It's psychological exploitation, plain and simple--and the responsibility cuts both ways, as players who dedicate forty hours of their week to what is at best masturbation and at worst sado-masochistic extortion continually fail to ask, "Why the fuck am I doing this?"

Eventually you just have to take a step back, unplug from the mechanisms they've behaviorally designed to snare you, and ask . . . why the hell am I still playing this game? And when you do, there's this kind of base-level Lovecraftian horror when you realize the weeks and months you've hurled into the void, that you can never have back--that, someday, you will be lying on your deathbed, desperately trying to account for the cumulative 48-hour-period you wasted, vainly hoping to obtain a fucking digital hat. Or growing a digital plant. Or whacking digital monsters with a digital stick, to obtain digital money, to continue buying more of the shiny arbitrary digital macguffins they've laid on your increasingly-endless breadcrumb trail into the abyss . . . and all of it is so hopelessly, ridiculously inconsequential to any kind of objective reality.

It's just a waste of time. Nothing more. Nothing less.

So yeah. I would have to agree. They're evil. WoW is only (inevitably) the oldest, largest, and guiltiest of this breed--and if it wasn't WoW, it would be some other game, occupying the exact same place and doing the exact same thing.
 

Grand_Marquis

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Feb 9, 2009
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I'm surprised. Yahtzee actually had a higher opinion of it than I did. That never happens! He always hates things more! Then again, I seem to have some kind of mental WoW armor, because I've tried playing it a couple times and it always utterly fails to suck me in.

It also doesn't help that I consider the game to be irreparably flawed at a fundamental level.

Dragonpit said:
I find it funny that the first five posts on this forum after Yahtzee put it up were put on probation. :D They're about as offensive as a bunny rabbit squeaky toy.
Head's up: people who respond to any new video uploads on Escapist before it's physically possible to watch the video all the way through get probated. So if you ever find yourself with an uncontrollable desire to make a witty reply 2 minutes after a 6 minute video is uploaded to the site...try to hold yourself back ;P
 

FallenMessiah88

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Jan 8, 2010
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I must say, a MUMMORPUGHER of all things? Im shocked. But honestly i just dont get games like WOW. Just dont get them, and I probably never will.
 

NaramSuen

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Jun 8, 2010
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I guess hell has frozen over.

The only reason I have never played WOW is that I am afraid I would like it too much and my life would become a bad country song.
 

daxterx2005

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Dec 19, 2009
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The reason I've never picked up wow is because I dont like the idea of having to depend on other people.
But Yahtzee said this new troll mage can do hard quests on its own?
I might pick the game up now.

thanks for a great review as always Yahtzee.
 

PurpleSkull

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Mar 20, 2009
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Anti Nudist Cupcake said:
He not only reviewed cataclysm, he said it was quite good...

Now I HAVE To play this, just to see what the fuss is about and because I have been thinking about doing it for quite a while.

Wait, was this what yahtzee was doing during that big flood in Australia?

...

Playing wow? During a flood?

MADNESS!
You might as well play cataclysm during a cataclysm.
 

Crazy Zaul

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Oct 5, 2010
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He had a good point how stupid ppl are that say GZ for every achievement no matter how effortless it is to get it.
 

Awexsome

Were it so easy
Mar 25, 2009
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Got farther than I did. I only made it to level 20 before the NUMBAHs lost their appeal to me.

Although that's really how every MMO goes for me. Play it for a bit, bore of it because getting to the top tier requires waaaay to much commitment in time, money, or both.
 

Frozengale

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Sep 9, 2009
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Exterminas said:
Frozengale said:
Exterminas said:
I am suprised by this shallow opinion.
Wow is bad, because it ruined a few lives?
Doesn't make that gaming bad, because it ruined a few lives?

No, it doesn't. If you let your life get ruined by something as easy as Wow, then there weere clearly problems there before.

Like... oh, lets say: A child, that you didn't want in the first place and that shackles you to your home.
A "few" is an understatement when it comes to WoW. I've watched several people have their lives ruined in some way by this game. If it isn't neglecting their job or their school work, it's neglecting their family and friends and becoming obsessed by increasing their numbers in a silly little game.

Some games are WORTH spending several hours of your life on. Minecraft is not only a game but a very nice creative outlet for example. WoW is just an endless stream of killing the same enemies in the same ways until you get a level to kill them in a slightly different same way. Then you rinse and repeat. Raise your numbers, and at the end of the day find that you you've wasted a large amount of time on something incredibly pointless.
Sorry but, you are reducing a MMORPG to it's gameplay, which ignores the two M.
If Minecraft is a crative outlet, then Wow is a socializing platform.
So what you might have seen as "neglecting friends and family" might actually have been "finding new friends" for the playing person.
I met a lot of people via wow who are now close real life friends. It's a great hobby to do with great people. Playing it alone would result in said parade of numbers.

I don't raid to get a bigger sowrd. I raid to achieve something with friends. It's like building an IKEA-cupboard together. Often frustrating but uniting.
Well if your only reason for WoW is to socialize then you have my pity. Minecraft has social aspects as well. And if you socialize over such a pathetic excuse for a game as WoW then you have many other problems. Seriously?! Why does everyone bring up this as their only and last defense for this game? "It's social" "I play it with my mates" "My girlfriend and I pretend to have sex in the forest with our avatars". Well good golly sweet molly! It's not like there aren't a thousand other games out there for socializing. Most, if not all of them, not so shallow and depressingly life wrenching as World of Warcraft. You are trying to defend a GAME on the fact that it is good because of other people, a completely separate element from the game itself. It would be like saying sawing my arm off is a good social activity because my best friend is the one doing the sawing!
 

Blackjack 222

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Dec 2, 2009
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The weak get sucked in, the average get sucked in and eventually escape(some do) and the strong/smart escape before its too late. WoW is good at what it does but Blizzard is evil and i managed to get that dried up husk i cal a soul back before it was too late. To be fair it was a dried up husk prior to WoW but now it smells of other souls from being in the crate with the other souls.
 

Idocreating

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Apr 16, 2009
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teknoarcanist said:
I have not made friends.
Then you probably missed the point. Most of the reason I still play WoW is because of the friends I've made while playing it.
 

Cadapalo

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Jun 8, 2010
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So yahtzee liked it? Wow I did not see that one coming. Guess I can't blame him though, the game has gotten a lot less of get/kill x amount of x. Its not gone but a lot less of that and leveling has gotten tremendously easier. Curse you blizzard for bringing me back.
 

RipCanvas

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Jan 13, 2011
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I'm probably one of the more rare WoW players who is in a guild comprised mostly of friends from school/work/life and plays with them as a sort of buffer between gatherings. I mean, not gunna lie, we all care about the numbers [though I honestly hate it when my armor clashes, bleh] because we want to down raid bosses and kill dirty Alliance players, and honestly it's also about the pwning and winning [just like any other game], but it's more about the bonding between murdering NPCs and other players that makes the game enjoyable.

I never understood people who only play for gear after the top level. That seems like it would get so boring and tedious. Soloing up to 85 in Cataclysm isn't as bad as it was in the previous expansions cause the quests are extremely lore-heavy now [and there's a quest chain where you get to see Garrosh throw a doucher off the side of a mountain, which was funny], and a good majority of them are really engaging rather than feeling like a daily grind [aside from the daily quests, those can go die in a hole]. But after that... Eh, gear is gear. It's only fun to get it if you can rub it in a friend's face because you got it first.

And pugging heroics/raids is like hitting your head against a spiked brick wall. Repeatedly.
 

Bryan McDonald

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Aug 3, 2010
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not even essentially, It IS true. I'm an ex wow head as well and i can safely say that end game is a bunch of life draining shit that has no purpose.. On that note anyone willing to buy a level 80 blood elf pally? 5.9k gs and a lock and Death knight =D
 

Lazier Than Thou

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Jun 27, 2009
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Are a collection of gamers seriously here to complain about a single type of game that "has no purpose?" Seriously?

Let me see if I can make this as abundantly clear as possible. Games are pointless. All of them. Some you might feel a more emotional attachment to above others because of superior gameplay, story telling, atmosphere or any other trivial thing that DOES NOT MATTER. Has any game cured hunger? Has any game saved a human life? Has any game cured a disease, ended a famine, or created a new species? Has any game done ANYTHING OF SIGNIFICANCE? No. They're all(ALL) about wasting time. About enjoyment, having fun. They're about making your boring, unfulfilled life feel a little less boring, a little less unfulfilled. If a game has done that, it has served its purpose.

Simply put, if you're going to say that FPS games are in any way less "about numbers" than an MMO, you're doing nothing but kidding yourself about your pathetic life.

Now, I have to go back to ignoring my pathetic life by killing some imaginary monsters in an imaginary universe that will do no more good for the real world than if I had done the EXACT SAME THING in a different imaginary universe.
 

Bobbity

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Mar 17, 2010
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I'm right now thinking that if Yahtzee had asked for people to volunteer their accounts so he could experience the endgame content - not necessarily raiding, but the high level cataclysm zones - people would have come to him in droves, despite the high likelihood of his just selling the accounts on ebay and blowing a raspberry in their faces.
Anyway, I liked the review, and, however much unwillingly, agree with it. The stuff he's said has creeped me out somewhat and while I hadn't started raiding yet, now I'm not sure I'm going to.
 

Ghengis John

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Dec 16, 2007
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So you're horde. Why doesn't that surprise me but yes, honestly I was one of them and fuck the alliance. That's clearly the dev's standpoint at any rate and it shines through pretty clearly to anyone who sits down with the game for five minutes. They don't even try to balance things out and whena sked if they're happy with 6 to 1 player ratios say "we're happy with the balance." Being on the alliance is one long exercise in pointless frustration and determination. Anyhow after having wasted 5 years playing that game, goodbye forever WOW. Well said Yahtzee, well said.