I think this is a fundamentally flawed statement right out of the gate. I didn't design the game, Fromsoft did, and they designed the game for a specific experience.
I feel like you're undermining your own point here.
Any game that is complex enough to be really engaging will probably have more than one possible way of playing it, including some the developers didn't think of. Fromsoft probably
didn't think about people using Comet Azur with Cerulean Hidden Tear to one-shot the hardest bosses in Elden Ring with an infinite laser beam.
There are two ways of looking at this and they're linked to two different philosophies about game design. The first is that those people are playing the game wrong by subverting the developer's intention. The developer built a constructed, linear experience which the player was supposed to go through and the players broke it. The other approach would see this as an example of emergent gameplay. The developer gave the players a series of mechanics which the players found a novel way to use.
Unlike a book or a film, the players in a game aren't passive consumers but active collaborators in the experience they are having. Some games take away a lot of that control in order to give the player a cinematic experience, others embrace the idea of player freedom and focus on giving the player a fun toolbox to use as they see fit. The soulsborne series has always been somewhere in the middle, but despite what fans insist, these games do give you enough freedom to play them in a wide variety of ways, and they are complex enough to allow for a degree of emergence.
Maybe you find Margit early, maybe you don't get to Margit until you're level 70 and fully kitted to your playstyle. Either way YOU don't create that experience, the game did, the design did.
If the game created that experience, how do you have a playstyle?
I was going to emphasize this by pointing out that you don't develop a "readstyle" when reading a book, but then I remembered that one interview with Hidetaka Miyazaki where he talks about how his approach to narrative came from growing up in a poor family who couldn't afford to buy books, and thus having to read whatever was available even if it was too advanced, so he would have to imagine parts of the story and would end up with his own version of that story. Even the lore of the Souls series is designed to be engaged with, and I think that approach to player direction is a big part of what has made this series so popular.
A game that simply expected you to solve a series of escalating challenges by finding the solution the developer intended would not be a souls game. It would not even be a roleplaying game, because what defines a roleplaying game is the ability of the player to express themselves through making choices about the character they are playing. It would be a puzzle game, and not even a very good puzzle game.
And as a result you have results like you an your housemate. Perhaps they stumbled into things that circumvented the experience of the game in a way they didn't enjoy, whereas you had the opposite experience.
That's not really it. My housemate did enjoy it, just less than other souls games (for similar reasons to those you've described). But again, the point was really that we have a very different way of approaching these games and very different ideas of what enjoyment looks like. For one, he doesn't get that feeling of disappointment for beating a boss quickly or easily. He plays in a very objective driven way where the goal is to keep moving forwards and where winning is winning. I like to struggle and see myself incrementally improve each time until that one run where the stars align and everything comes together. To me it's the best feeling you can have playing a video game, and it's worth the frustration of getting there.
There will come a point, I know, where the struggle actually outstrips my skill and I have to start thinking more tactically and using every tool available. I'm pretty close to the end of the game and it hasn't happened yet, but it will happen (as it happened in every previous souls game). I don't see that as a problem. I'm not really objective driven when I play these games. If I hit a point of genuinely not being able to progress, my first impulse is to go do something else, which means that by the time it becomes impossible to progress I will have the tools to make it happen, even if they're not the specific meta tools reddit recommends.
But then, I'm also not actually bothered about finishing the game, certainly not within any particular timeframe.
How does the player melting bosses with Rivers of Blood know that isn't how things are supposed to go?
If a player got far enough in to get Rivers of Blood, they have plenty of experience of what it's like to not have Rivers of Blood and are entirely capable of deciding whether to use Rivers of Blood or whether that's going to ruin their experience.
If there are 100 ways to melt through the difficulty, then I'm more inclined to think that melting the bosses are the intended way to play the game.
Yes, I actually agreed with this.
However, I don't think it actually matters what the intended way to play the game is. I think the concept of an intended way to play the game is kind of dumb. You decide how to play the game using the mechanics and tools you are given. It depends what you want to get out of it and what matters to you.
Also, even if the intended way of playing the game was naked SL1 using only fists, the vast majority of players just wouldn't be able to do that and if the game forced them to, they would stop playing. Even a game that is intended to be a difficult, hardcore experience has to be able to be played long enough to learn how to play it in the "intended" way, which means either adding variable difficulty or adding ways of playing the game which make it possible for players who can't play the game in the intended way to make progress anyway and, ultimately, to learn how to play in the intended way. Games have to be designed around players of varying skill levels, a game which expects you to walk in and already know how to play it is a game that most players won't bother getting into because it doesn't respect their time.
Speculating about how you were meant to play Elden Ring seems kind of weird because, even if we leave out emergent gameplay, we can't possibly know what is intended and what is just part of the scaffolding needed to support the intended way of playing. At the end of the day, I don't think it matters what is intended and what isn't. If you find a way to play that you enjoy and doesn't ruin the experience for you, just do that.