That worker's comp story was from as far back as at least April. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/19/woman-injured-during-sex-workers-compensation_n_1438084.html
Also, what was the answer to the last part? Was it actually hillbilly porn?
You see, the difference here is that people who call a phone chat line just want someone to talk to. Someone who pays people to act like their girlfriend on facebook *are* creeps. Not because they're lonely people who want someone to talk to, but because they're willing to flat out lie to people...
Why is everyone talking about Steampunk Terminator? Steampunk is typically Victorian era stuff. But I agree that early 20th century terminator would be completely awesome.
Also, that Leno impersonation wasn't quite right. You didn't explain the joke afterward.