A cult forms around you. How do you react?

[zzkill]

First thing, have awesome intercourse. Second thing, wake up. Third thing, go back to sleep.

 

[Wintermoot]

world domination and live like a king

 

[dvd_72]

Well they'll probably come up with some excuse as to why I would say I'm not a god so nothing I say will dissuade them from that. I guess I'd just try to make the best of it, do some good out in the world and profit from it a little.

 

[2xDouble]

Start some sort of a business founded on charity and good deeds; general philanthropic interests and such. All profits to benefit the enclave... basically a benevolent communism. Of course, a small tribute to me will be required from each member, with various payment options depending on their situation and/or relative hotness/willingness (incidentally, rape is never ok. not even for a "god").

I would also make no illusions of immortality (or resurrection) and let my company be my legacy, with strict, public instructions left for my followers after my inevitable death. These instructions would include a clause under which, if my guidelines were no longer followed, the company would immediately disband and ALL company assets would be immediately donated to various charity organizations. The instructions would explicitly NOT include a successor. My seat as "god-emperor" must remain empty without me, to prevent exploitation by and temptation of my followers.

 

[EvilMaggot]

if it were all women.. ORGY WOOOHOOO!!!!

 

[bartholen_v1legacy]

if it were all women.. ORGY WOOOHOOO!!!!

Damn right!

What I personally would do: First I'd take all their money. Then I'd have them build a monastery somewhere far away and tell them to make themselves the ultimate men: study all sorts of knowledge and train physically. When they're finished, I present them to the world, and everyone will flock to me because they want to become the ultimate men too. Failing that, I'd have my own personal army and probably raise a criminal empire. Morally wrong, but morality is bad business.

Ummm... apparently I just made myself Ra's al Ghul from the new Batman movies.

 

[Savryc]

Well, shit. It's about damn time.

 

[crimson sickle2]

It is stage 3 of the plan, so I go on to stage 4: conquer the earth one nation at a time until I reach ten conquered.

 

[Hawk eye1466]

I'd make it a classy cult none of that crazy gibbering insanity no it would be all well dressed intelligent people in positions of power who wouldn't have any official ties to me until the master plan comes to fruition and then the world will know who their true ruler is! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I mean nothing I would politely tell them to go away

 

[M0rp43vs]

First, 500 strong chorus line. To sing various showtunes and hard rock classics. No really.

Then the money, then the bitches, then maybe the guys for a while, then the bitches again.

And then maybe the women

 

[Anatoli Ossai]

Cults like other Institutions of belief are not to be dismissed. Yes one could join the faith or fight back with reason but that will make you either a fundamentalist or a Cynic. Faith is people who need it. Instead align yourself with a cause, belief is optional (and besides cannot be quantified) and once known use the power of the Cult to manipulate the followers into propagating you ideals.

Don't ask what you can do in the cult, but what the Cult can do for you

 

[Spartan Altego]

I'd use the hot ones for sex, the rich ones for money, the influential ones for political and legal protection when the sex and money gets out of control, and the rest for suicidal attacks on my enemies should the sex, money, politics and criminality get really out of control.

I'd use my cult to assassinate yours.

...There's a thought. Train my followers to become a fraternity of assassins bent on keeping the world from going down the toilet, or otherwise just killing some of the really evil pricks in the world. We work in the dark to serve the light. We are Assassins.

First target: Barney. That purple bastard's gonna pay for raping my childhood.

 

[miketehmage]

First I get the money, then I get the power, then I get the woman.

 

[bigfatcarp93]

Wow, SO MUCH conquer the world. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: you give me ANY power, and I will abuse the FUCK out of it.

 

[Harveypot]

I would have them bring me all the Reese's Pieces they could find. And some Doritos. With some salsa. And maybe some guacamole.
What were we talking about?

 

[gigastar]

Id get them all into playing Planetside 2.

500 people who will do whatever i tell them to without question? Practically a wet dream in that game.

 

[MegaManOfNumbers]

Ask them for all their money. Then go into hiding.

Cults are freaky, but I might as well get something out of it.

 

[MegaManOfNumbers]

First, 500 strong chorus line. To sing various showtunes and hard rock classics. No really.

Then the money, then the bitches, then maybe the guys for a while, then the bitches again.

And then maybe the women

Hey! I love dogs too!

 

[Monster_user]

I'd keep all the hot non crazy chicks for myself *cough*.. and uhh.. let the rest of them go about their normal life, with making sure they don't do anything too crazy in my name.

Yeah, I'd do that too, but anyone following me as a cult leader is crazy by definition so that's out.

So I'd teach everyone in the cult how to play different instruments, and have them follow me around everywhere providing an orchestral soundtrack to my life.

Seeing that avatar, and associating it with "8-Bit Theater", specifically "Black Mage", makes it even more hilarious.
http://www.nuklearpower.com/2001/03/23/episode-008-adventurers-1-giant-0/
http://www.nuklearpower.com/2007/10/04/episode-902-we-hurt-the-ones-we-loathe/

Would Black Mage actually enjoy an orchestral soundtrack?

 

[Fearzone]

I'd tell them to go find jobs and bathe regularly.