I've got it! We get a bunch of poorly dressed mutha'fuckas to have a great big apocalyptic punch up until only one survies and then when the aliens invade he'll go back in time (not sure how) and bring a warning to two rodeo clowns and a prostitute. And then he'll do a weird thing that bestows super powers to random towns around the world. His will likely be that if the entire world consists of poorly dressed mutha'fuckas have a punch up will freak the aliens out and they'll just quietly leave.
Alien asks you to prove humanity is worth saving
- Thread starter Saxm13
- Start date
I'm not sure it's possible. Humanity has achieved some great and uplifting accomplishments, but I don't think they come anywhere close to outweighing all the fuck-ups.
I guess the best I could do would be to explain to them that we'll be destroying ourselves before too long, anyway, so why waste their efforts?
I guess the best I could do would be to explain to them that we'll be destroying ourselves before too long, anyway, so why waste their efforts?
I'd point them to Farmville.
Then they just might end our planet slightly faster than we're doing.
Then they just might end our planet slightly faster than we're doing.
"Look, if you study, our past, you will, discover great things, like slavery, mass racism, dictatorshi...
What about the present? All that polution that we are sending to the atmosfere, destroying it bit by b...
Let´s talk about the future! If we add to the actions of the past the actions of the future we will get...
[sigh]Go ahead."
What about the present? All that polution that we are sending to the atmosfere, destroying it bit by b...
Let´s talk about the future! If we add to the actions of the past the actions of the future we will get...
[sigh]Go ahead."
If they
"We humans will fight to stay al[Pew Pew]"
"Flor ti recto ra yer!" (Translation - Fight that mother fucker!)
If they have the tecnology to fly over here and to blow an entire planet, wouldn´t that be a bit pointless?.Xaio30 said:
"We humans will fight to stay al[Pew Pew]"
"Flor ti recto ra yer!" (Translation - Fight that mother fucker!)
Just because I lost faith in humanity so long ago I made you lose faith? Damn I'm good!SirBryghtside said:
More seriously, In all honesty, there are a lot of good things in the world. Don't get me wrong about what I said before, I know that there are things that humanity has done that is worth recording in the annuls of history, even by an alien race. Not specifically the art that we've created or the technological advancements we've made, but certain events that have happened and milestones that we've accomplished as a race. From the first flying machines to our first steps into space and on the moon. From things like abolishing slavery to equal rights (though we're still not totally there yet). Humanity, at the moment, isn't worth saving. Taking the correct steps, whatever they are, and bringing everyone into harmony so we can all work together for a single future for all... only then would our race be worth saving.
shoot it in the head, laugh and say "Ya didn't think it would be easy to kill ya did you?" at its dead alien corps... and then shoot all the other aliens there as well... as they are not human and thus ok to kill
"No they really aren't," *shrug* "Might as well blow us up Alderaan style so we don't feel it. At least then the stupid invasion and hangover movies will stop."
My response in a nutshell.
My response in a nutshell.
I'd assumed that the aliens could save us from some inevitable cosmic catastophy but it would cost them a great deal of time and effort, meaning that we would have to prove ourselves worthy.
I'd have to appeal to them from a purely conservative standpoint. If our planet dies you can't exploit it in the future.
I'd have to appeal to them from a purely conservative standpoint. If our planet dies you can't exploit it in the future.
I'd go on and on about how humanity, in the maelstrom of chaos, anger, pain, and all the other less than enjoyable elements that are part of human existence , creates beauty in all that darkness. I'd point out our greatest masterpieces in painting, music, literature and sculpture. I'd tell the Aliens about Gandhi, Mandela, Pere Damien, and others. I'd show him newborn children, the greatest example of potential. I'd go on and on about all these things, and then I'd see a poster for a Justin Bieber concert and just tell them to get on with the annihilation already.
Are we worth saving? We're a young race, cosmically. We've made great strides in that time, progressing from a creature with only the barest natural defenses to the undisputed lords and masters of our spinning dirt-ball. We've created art, music, literature, theatre, philosophy, and discovered mathematical and scientific principles that boggle a mind which we have yet to fully utilize. We've waged wars that have scarred the planet and left millions dead. We've mapped the human genome and weaponized disease. We split the atom, used it to power cities and level them; and have sacrificed ourselves to contain it once more. We've lived by the sword, by chivalry, by the dollar, by the scripture and doctrine of hundreds of deities. We've built walls and torn them down, altered the flow of rivers, leveled mountains, plunged to the hidden depths of our seas, and taken our first halting steps into space. And we are a young race, yet.
Are we worth saving? A better question to ask, oh Aliens from the great beyond, is whether or not you've got the power to stop us; utterly obliterate us in a single moment. If you can completely and irrevocably eradicate us, then whatever words are bandied are ultimately useless. Do as you will.
Otherwise, you might find that a horde of squishy monkey-locusts hell-bent on destroying themselves from the dawn of time might somehow direct all of their destructive potential directly at this new threat from beyond the fringes of their understanding. If there's one thing we hate more than people who are different than us, its things that aren't even people at all.
Pull the trigger or run. Clock's ticking.
Are we worth saving? A better question to ask, oh Aliens from the great beyond, is whether or not you've got the power to stop us; utterly obliterate us in a single moment. If you can completely and irrevocably eradicate us, then whatever words are bandied are ultimately useless. Do as you will.
Otherwise, you might find that a horde of squishy monkey-locusts hell-bent on destroying themselves from the dawn of time might somehow direct all of their destructive potential directly at this new threat from beyond the fringes of their understanding. If there's one thing we hate more than people who are different than us, its things that aren't even people at all.
Pull the trigger or run. Clock's ticking.
We have a mineral rich planet and a vast collection of technology. If that doesn't convince them, just ask why they think humanity is worth destroying.
I knew that my Studio Ghibli and Pixar film collection will save the world someday. And Mother 3.
